You might be Eastern Orthodox if...

WisdomTree said:

What about a prayer before the prayer for your prayer? We must go deeper...

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We have that. "Let us complete our prayer unto the Lord..."

wynd said:

We have that. "Let us complete our prayer unto the Lord..."

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...When the priest says that ("Let us complete..."), and you expect at least another 20 minutes.

Protoevangel said:

...When the priest says that ("Let us complete..."), and you expect at least another 20 minutes.

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and we never begin with beginning prayers, we begin with our pre-beginning prayers

ArmyMatt said:

and we never begin with beginning prayers, we begin with our pre-beginning prayers

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Is there also a post-beginning prayer? If so, then it'll be like three course prayer at the beginning.

You know you're Orthodox if....

Your priest says "you may all sit down" and you think it's a gag

You visit a Protestant church for the wedding of a friend, and, upon seeing a guitar, drums, bass, and amplifiers in the sanctuary, you start to shake, get nauseous, and end up vomiting in the men's room

You no longer think of the myriad army of germs that come from everyone putting the same spoon in their mouths, everyone kissing the same icons, babies crawling on the floors like animals, kids all over the place sticking their filthy hands on the slava bread, and people shoving their hands into the antidiron bowl

Someone tells you they are a devotee of St. Vladimir the Leper of Valkenvania and St. Olga the Hermitess of Eastern Sibera and...you actually know who they're talking about

Your deacon holds the censor straight up in your face for a matter of seconds until the incense singes the nose hairs within and you don't even realize it much less care

You're anglo, grew up in Western churches, and yet you have Russians, Serbs, Middle Easterners, and every race from A to Z around you at coffee hour and for you, that's normal! LOL

You can tell one tone apart from another

You no longer think of ZZ Top when you look at your bishop

You begin to look at the Catholic Mass as an Oreo cookie with no filling

You get frustrated that Orthodox priests are never in movies

You automatically kiss things no matter what

You envy the clergy's heavy silken robes in the winter because your priest is too cheap to turn on the heater

You see veiled women all over the place and the hair on your neck no longer stands up in fear of being bombed by Hamas

The only football player anyone at coffee hour talks about is Troy Palomalu

You look at Catholics and feel like the way they cross themselves is akin to driving in a British car on the wrong side of the road

You think a liturgy that was "only" 1.5 hours was a short, abbreviated edition

No longer ask "what on Earth is that?" when the Russians slap strange things onto your plate in the coffee hour line

Santa Claus has to come to your home at a much later date, weeks later

...

You might be Eastern Orthodox if you are an Orthodox who is Eastern.

27B6 said:

You might be Orthodox if you think of Oreo cookies when someone mentions Lent.

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And rice krispie treats.

The only football player anyone at coffee hour talks about is Troy Palomalu

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and the only day time actor is Jonathan Jackson

And you like to watch "Daredevil" with Matt Affleck, despite it not being that great a super hero flick, because it shows a funeral with an Orthodox priest in the background when Elektra's dad gets killed!

ArmyMatt said:

and the only day time actor is Jonathan Jackson

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gurneyhalleck1 said:

And you like to watch "Daredevil" with Matt Affleck, despite it not being that great a super hero flick, because it shows a funeral with an Orthodox priest in the background when Elektra's dad gets killed!

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and The World is Not Enough, because the beginning has an Orthodox priest in a shrine.

That's right! I forgot that one!

ArmyMatt said:

and The World is Not Enough, because the beginning has an Orthodox priest in a shrine.

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You might be Orthodox if....

You automatically say, "No, I'm not Jewish!" to people before they've even responded to your telling them the name of your religion....

Die before you die, so when you die you won't die actually makes sense

You are actually willing to argue with Western Christians for hours about God's energies and you're willing to quote St. Gregory Palamas to the nausea of your opponent

double post

you already said that, my bruthuh!

ArmyMatt said:

Die before you die so that when you die you don't die.........actually makes sense

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You like it when someone calls you a fool....

gurneyhalleck1 said:

you already said that, my bruthuh!

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You might be Orthodox if...

Repeating things comes naturally. 3x, 12x, 40x, etc...