Give "Bad" Advice (2)

brinny said:

ferget about it...they'll sign you up, no worries....

this insect eating plant is gettin' tooooo big...what should i do?

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Start feeding it small animals or it will eat you.

I have a fever, what should I do?

turn the heat really high until you sweat it out

i don't wanna wash dishes...what should i do?

Just lick them off. They'll get clean enough and you'll get a little snack out of the deal.

My dog needs a walk but it is cold outside and I just plain don't feel like walking the dog today. what am I supposed to do?

Just send your dog out, and put a note with ''Return to sender'' on it, then just wait until someone delivers your dog.

I have trouble tying my shoelaces, what should I do!

Shoelaces are really annoying. Just wear flip-flops everywhere. There are all kinds of styles and they are usually cheap, so you could get a pair to go with every outfit.

A coat that I bought at Goodwill smells like cigarettes. How do I get rid of the smell?

start smokin' cigarettes, a LOT so yer whole house smells like cigarettes and you won't even notice the smell anymore

my tv ain't workin' right, what should i do?

They have tvs in hotels. Check into a hotel on the evenings you feel like watching something.

How to pass the time on a 5 hour car trip with 2 teenagers and a dog.

eat a stick of butter while watching Dr. Phil on repeat

LJCTAM needs no advice on anything. He must have it ALL figured out! Let's all go to his house and camp on his lawn till he tells us the secrets of the universe and solves all our problems!

I can't ever seem to finish this game of solitaire playing the old way, with a real deck of cards. How many are there supposed to be again? 50 or 51?

Woman of Faith said:

LJCTAM needs no advice on anything. He must have it ALL figured out! Let's all go to his house and camp on his lawn till he tells us the secrets of the universe and solves all our problems!

I can't ever seem to finish this game of solitaire playing the old way, with a real deck of cards. How many are there supposed to be again? 50 or 51?

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The number of cards in a deck is an arbitrary limitation. You can play with however many cards makes you comfortable. 57, 63, 29, 4; It's all up to you!

If you find you can't play with the amount of cards you chose, just change the rules. They're arbitrary too.

I can't read all of the books in the world. What do I do?

Live forever, learn every language and find a library with a really good interlibrary exchange program.

I want to learn to paint, but don't want to take lessons.

1: Find paint-brush.
2: Dip it in paint.
3: Apply paint to canvas.
4: ???
5: Profit!

How can I stop procrastinating?

A good way to stop procrastinating is to... well... I can tell you tomorrow.

Name something in place of standard store-bought air fresheners that I can use without all the chemicals.

WannaWitness said:

A good way to stop procrastinating is to... well... I can tell you tomorrow.

Name something in place of standard store-bought air fresheners that I can use without all the chemicals.

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Spray a vinegar and milk mix around your house.

How can I tell if I'm a ghost?

Poke a sharp stick in your eyes. Can you still see? If not, you're not a ghost.

I'm thinking of starting a new career, online poker playing. Any ideas how to start?

Woman of Faith said:

Poke a sharp stick in your eyes. Can you still see? If not, you're not a ghost.

I'm thinking of starting a new career, online poker playing. Any ideas how to start?

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Probably by googling "Online Poker" an hitting whatever link comes up first.

I want to major in an unprofitable degree. How can I get other people to pay for my worthless education?

Try online poker and bluff every hand.

I can't think of a problem to ask bad advice for.

Start a thread in all of the forums here with words of your expertise in all areas of life. People always appreciate someone who knows everything about everything.

I never know what to wear when I go out for a walk. It'll be freezing cold, so I put on my winter jacket. 10 minutes later, the blood is flowing and the muscles are working and before you know it I'm hot and sweaty. How can I get the clothes right?

Ask Tim Gunn.

I need a seller to ship faster without spending extra money. How can I do that?

Birds are fast fliers. Strap your package to an eagle. They don't expect money either, so bonus for you!

This old house can get really drafty on windy days. So I'm looking for ways to keep drafts out without spending thousands and thousands of dollars.