Divorce Motives ?

hislegacy · Aug 6, 2013

If you are communicating with your children three or four times a week, sending her some type of financial support weekly (even if it is only 25), that alone will help cool her off and see a different you.

If you don't do something different, you will never get different results.
The Man is the head of the family, lead.

Even if your not there physically, even if you don't get what you want. Lead.

Doing the same isn't cooling off the situation, its giving fuel to the fire.

sunlover1 · Aug 6, 2013

mrhappy3 said:
Well folks I saw the wife for the first time in a year, I was even invited in ! Good start...but I can't gloss over what happened thereafter. It became a barrage of accusations and isolated instances from the past. I didnt take the bait - I held my hands up and said " OK, I repent of all of that, and I apologise." What made it worse, is that before the tirade the KIDS were made to sit and listen - which personally to me was out of order. My youngest is 10 and had his head in his hands. My eldest boy was furious and accused my wife of double standards on a number of points and he was right. She couldnt take this 'act of a traitor' from him and told him to leave. Jezebel was in full flow. I can safely say, after all this time, THE RESENTMENT still hangs deep. My 'crimes' have long been washed in the blood of the lamb, BUT for only reasons known to my wife she chooses to hang on to them. My kids FINALLY took pity on me as I took it all on the chin. What makes it all the more confusing is...my daughter says she still loves me- Ill be honest. I'd sooner live on bread and water and live on the corner of a roof of a house than have to be reminded of the PAST day and night. Bottom line is she aint perfect, I accept that. BUT my failings (only going back 2 years she reckons out of 18) are enough to condemn me. Well folks, I'll wait on the Lord for my next move.

I don't know what your past crimes were but am sorry that they're being thrown in your face. Especially in front of your children! How horrible!
I do know that even though we repent, there may still be unfortunate
consequences to deal with

Her root of bitterness is her own choice though and she's the one God
will deal with about that.
She is trying to blame you for her own choices now.
This is such a sad story because of what she's doing to the kids

Good job keeping it together.
I hope you NEVER allow her to put you in such a predicament again.!
For the kid's sake!

mrhappy3 · Aug 6, 2013

Appreciate the last two posts. Both valid. x

Messy · Aug 6, 2013

Svt4Him · Aug 6, 2013

mrhappy3 said:
What difference would that make ? either way they are no longer together, it just lacks the STAMP.

Well two people who are no longer together but not divorced are in fact still married, and if you hook up with someone who is put away (not divorced) you cause that person to commit adultery.

Hypothetical: Brad and Jen were separated when Brad met Ang. Brad and Ang hooked up while filming a movie, and was in adultery as he was still married to Jen. The difference that a STAMP makes is huge in this case.

In the Jewish culture, the STAMP is even more important, as a Jewish woman could not get her life back as she was still tied to her husband. This in fact still goes on.

Now read the story Jesus spoke with a different translation, the ASV:

but I say unto you, that every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery.

A put away woman who violated the marriage covenant made the marriage null, therefore she could be put away without divorce, which is what happened in Ezra.

3 And there came unto him Pharisees, trying him, and saying, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said, Have ye not read, that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?
6 So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why then did Moses command to give a bill of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses for your hardness of heart suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it hath not been so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery.

Ever wonder why this was a trick question asked to Jesus?

Svt4Him · Aug 6, 2013

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]There is a Divorce that God Approves of and One He Hates[/FONT] [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

The divorce that God approves of is one of His major surgical procedures to save the people of the marriage (but not necessarily the marriage itself). But it has been turned into something detestable and abhorred. And because of this, many husbands and wives will live life with no joy, dead hearts, and guilt from not divorcing just to save the marriage, but themselves being lost because they were kept from a surgical operation they so desperately needed. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Instead of attempting to save the people of the marriage, we want to save the marriage, and forget about the ones who make up the marriage. That’s like trying to save a burning building and not caring to rescue the people who work in the building. Do we save the people of the marriage, or do we save the marriage itself for the sake of the marriage? GOD’S FIRST PRIORITY IS THE INDIVIDUAL, AND THEN THE INSTITUTION THESE INDIVIDUAL’S MAKE UP. If we try to save the marriage, we will probably lose the couple. But if we try to save the couple first, we have a very good chance to save the marriage, but more importantly, we will save one or both of the couple. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]When people say, “God hates divorce” as quoted from Malachi 2:16, normally that has been taught to mean that divorce is not allowed AT ALL. We shall see that this is only a half-truth.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]In Jeremiah the eighth chapter, Jeremiah mourns over the inhabitants of Jerusalem. The Lord gave them a warning through the prophet in verses 4-22. In verse 5, it says that they were “...in a perpetual backsliding [condition]” and in verse 9 that “...they have rejected the Word of the Lord.” Our wrong motives and attitudes will always reject “the Word of the Lord.”[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Because their motives and attitudes toward God and people were so bad, God said in verse 10, “Therefore I WILL GIVE THEIR WIVES TO OTHERS, AND THEIR FIELDS TO THOSE WHO WILL INHERIT THEM.” Notice God’s attitude concerning the marriage. The marriage itself was not first priority, but second. God did not save the marriage, but broke it up because of their continual disobedience. There is a curse that actually comes upon the marriage relationship because of continual disobedience to God. (See Deuteronomy 28:30). [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For He said, “...I will give their wives to OTHERS...” (Jeremiah 8:10a). “Others” means other marriage partners. Remember: GOD’S PRIORITY IS TO SAVE THE PEOPLE OF THE MARRIAGE, NOT NECESSARILY THE MARRIAGE ITSELF. God is the one who broke these marriages up. I believe that the husbands were just as cruel to their wives as they were to the Lord. God didn’t even ask the husbands for a Divorce Certificate. He just had another country come and take over. DIVORCE ITSELF IS NOT WHAT GOD HATES, BUT THE “WHY,” AND “HOW COME” BEHIND THE DIVORCE.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Quoted with permission: Is Divorce a Sin? Divorce Is NOT Sin!
[/FONT]

mrhappy3 · Aug 15, 2013

Well anyway - the latest is i got a call late last night with my wife saying - issue the 'papers' mmmmm - not too sure if she means it - but anyway I just spoke to her about my young boy getting a chance to play in a football team trial on saturday and she said WE ARE ALL GOING TO A WEDDING - and slammed the phone down. I was MAD !! unlike me really, but I had to text and say, number one DO NOT CALL ME AT MIDNIGHT and number two - do not slam phones down please. THIS was after our last meeting when we agreed on finances and other stuff. FACT is - She needs to grow up. Getting bored of the same tired old attitude, (awaits the green light from God..)

mourningdove~ · Aug 15, 2013

mrhappy3 said:
Well anyway - the latest is i got a call late last night with my wife saying - issue the 'papers' mmmmm - not too sure if she means it - but anyway I just spoke to her about my young boy getting a chance to play in a football team trial on saturday and she said WE ARE ALL GOING TO A WEDDING - and slammed the phone down. I was MAD !! unlike me really, but I had to text and say, number one DO NOT CALL ME AT MIDNIGHT and number two - do not slam phones down please. THIS was after our last meeting when we agreed on finances and other stuff. FACT is - She needs to grow up. Getting bored of the same tired old attitude, (awaits the green light from God..)

Assertively setting boundaries, preferably when one is not angry, is very much an ok thing to do and is sometimes very necessary and wise.

She may need to grow up, but only God can do it.

Prayers for you and your family.

mrhappy3 · Aug 20, 2013

Well, I basically said by depriving my young son of playing for his local team is messing him up emotionally - keeping him a prisoner in his own home - disgusts me. Too lazy to get him itegrated, and leaving him depressed. I'll be honest, I'm sick of the resistance and I told her so.I really feel its time to bail out when someone won't budge. I Really feel sorry for the kid, being used as a pawn.Can't be dealing with somebody so stubborn. If there was any love there in the PHILEO sense, its dead and buried. Gone on toooooo long and its making us all sick.(including my other two kids). I'm telling you as it is...and I'm not the only one around saying this. Minister friends of mine confirm you can't help somebody who refuses help, and that includes counselling. Sad state of affairs. They often say, when somethings dead bury it. Its starting to stink now.

Fact is: Jezebel has become ONE BIG BORE.

Tobias · Aug 20, 2013

If your son's needs are being neglected, it's time to step it up and do MORE not less. More for him of course.

I'm not sure what you are saying, but it sounds like you want to give up. Giving up on the marriage is one thing. But giving up on the kids is another. Married or unmarried it doesn't make a difference. If one parent is failing in their job, the other needs to step up and do more.

Seeing the need in your children, and judging your spouse for their imperfections is a natural thing to do. How that gets interpreted as a "right" for the "good" parent to walk away and abandon their kids in the care of the "bad" parent, is completely inconceivable.

mrhappy3 · Aug 20, 2013

Tobias said:
If your son's needs are being neglected, it's time to step it up and do MORE not less. More for him of course.

I'm not sure what you are saying, but it sounds like you want to give up. Giving up on the marriage is one thing. But giving up on the kids is another. Married or unmarried it doesn't make a difference. If one parent is failing in their job, the other needs to step up and do more.

Seeing the need in your children, and judging your spouse for their imperfections is a natural thing to do. How that gets interpreted as a "right" for the "good" parent to walk away and abandon their kids in the care of the "bad" parent, is completely inconceivable.

Nope - not me - I'm gonna make sure JEZEBEL is thrown over the wall this time - I've stood back long enough - I'm gonna make her very sorry this time - don't worry about that - ITS TIME ^_^

mrhappy3 · Aug 20, 2013

By the way - any Ahab's on here, don't bother contributing to this thread, we have enough sissies on the scene. IF people want to HOUSE any Spirit willingly, they can expect to be exposed sooner or later, and I will do it with a SMILE ON MY FACE as always.

Ok, lets go to war.

mrhappy3 · Aug 20, 2013

It is sad that Sampson observes,(IN HIS BOOK)"Honestly, in my years of ministry, I have rarely seen a true Jezebel delivered. Sometimes she becomes temporarily remorseful, but soon she'll go back to her controlling tactics" (p. 21). It makes sense that God would remove all stops in order to deliver those who are being destroyed by Jezebel, if not those directly controlled by her (who may be beyond deliverance, if of a reprobate mind, for example) then certainly those being dominated, intimidated, emasculated by her (something she does so well). Even as Jehu called upon the eunuchs (those castrated by Jezebel) to throw Jezebel down and kill her through defenestration (throwing out of a window), so today God is calling upon those victimized by this most evil spirit to obey Him and cast out, cast down, Jezebel, including in our very midst. The scriptural description of the total destruction of Jezebel should be a sobering lesson, worthy of meditation and prayer as we prepare for each day's spiritual battles. Because this spirit is a master at morphing, hiding under cloak of holiness, getting others to do its dirty work, and much, much more, it requires our greatest vigilance to deal with it in all its manifestations. I am so excited and rejoice to see God preparing his faithful ones for just such a work in these days prophesied about from old.

Steve Sampson is honest enough to admit in most cases this thing aint gonna budge, unless the person co-operates. Wheres Jay Bartlett when you need him.

Messy · Aug 20, 2013

mrhappy3 said:
By the way - any Ahab's on here, don't bother contributing to this thread, we have enough sissies on the scene. IF people want to HOUSE any Spirit willingly, they can expect to be exposed sooner or later, and I will do it with a SMILE ON MY FACE as always.

Ok, lets go to war.

Messy · Aug 20, 2013

mrhappy3 said:
It is sad that Sampson observes,(IN HIS BOOK)"Honestly, in my years of ministry, I have rarely seen a true Jezebel delivered. Sometimes she becomes temporarily remorseful, but soon she'll go back to her controlling tactics" (p. 21). It makes sense that God would remove all stops in order to deliver those who are being destroyed by Jezebel, if not those directly controlled by her (who may be beyond deliverance, if of a reprobate mind, for example) then certainly those being dominated, intimidated, emasculated by her (something she does so well). Even as Jehu called upon the eunuchs (those castrated by Jezebel) to throw Jezebel down and kill her through defenestration (throwing out of a window), so today God is calling upon those victimized by this most evil spirit to obey Him and cast out, cast down, Jezebel, including in our very midst. The scriptural description of the total destruction of Jezebel should be a sobering lesson, worthy of meditation and prayer as we prepare for each day's spiritual battles. Because this spirit is a master at morphing, hiding under cloak of holiness, getting others to do its dirty work, and much, much more, it requires our greatest vigilance to deal with it in all its manifestations. I am so excited and rejoice to see God preparing his faithful ones for just such a work in these days prophesied about from old.

Steve Sampson is honest enough to admit in most cases this thing aint gonna budge, unless the person co-operates. Wheres Jay Bartlett when you need him.

My ex mother in law sounded like that. I had a dream about her though that I helped her, years ago. It'll come to pass eventually, I believe that. I'll pray for your wife too, I like to pray for the ones that are impossible.

Tobias · Aug 20, 2013

mrhappy3 said:
It is sad that Sampson observes,(IN HIS BOOK)"Honestly, in my years of ministry, I have rarely seen a true Jezebel delivered. Sometimes she becomes temporarily remorseful, but soon she'll go back to her controlling tactics" (p. 21). It makes sense that God would remove all stops in order to deliver those who are being destroyed by Jezebel, if not those directly controlled by her (who may be beyond deliverance, if of a reprobate mind, for example) then certainly those being dominated, intimidated, emasculated by her (something she does so well). Even as Jehu called upon the eunuchs (those castrated by Jezebel) to throw Jezebel down and kill her through defenestration (throwing out of a window), so today God is calling upon those victimized by this most evil spirit to obey Him and cast out, cast down, Jezebel, including in our very midst. The scriptural description of the total destruction of Jezebel should be a sobering lesson, worthy of meditation and prayer as we prepare for each day's spiritual battles. Because this spirit is a master at morphing, hiding under cloak of holiness, getting others to do its dirty work, and much, much more, it requires our greatest vigilance to deal with it in all its manifestations. I am so excited and rejoice to see God preparing his faithful ones for just such a work in these days prophesied about from old.

Steve Sampson is honest enough to admit in most cases this thing aint gonna budge, unless the person co-operates. Wheres Jay Bartlett when you need him.

I just told my wife and son that today's vocabulary word is.... Defenestration!!!

mourningdove~ · Aug 21, 2013

mrhappy3 said:
Nope - not me - I'm gonna make sure JEZEBEL is thrown over the wall this time - I've stood back long enough - I'm gonna make her very sorry this time - don't worry about that - ITS TIME

Hey bro? I speak this in love. You might want to proceed cautiously with the jezebel stuff? While it can be true, so also may it be that the behaviors you believe you are seeing are not so much about a jezebel spirit, but rather they may be related to mental health issues.

I'm not talking about insanity here. But there are mental illnesses, there are personality disorders. And some behaviors associated with illness and personality disorders can 'look like' the behavior of evil spirits.

And there are victims of emotional and physical abuse, and trauma.

And there are other things.

It would be so nice if we could just 'exorcise' the demons away from others that we find difficult to get along with ... lol ... but so often, the problem can be more complicated than that.

Maybe you know what you are doing, so I don't mean to interfere. But in case you haven't considered the bigger picture, I thought I'd mention a few other things to you, too.

More people than we know carry a brokenness in their heart that needs a divine touch from God in order to be healed. Till that healing occurs, any of us can behave quite badly.

If I've overstepped boundaries in speaking up on this, please forgive me.

And a disclaimer: I don't know your wife, I don't really know your situation. So when I speak, I'm only speaking in generalities. And also, nothing I've said is the result of a 'word of knowledge' or anything of that sort. What I've shared is just a few of the things I've learned about people, and life.

God bless.

Messy · Aug 21, 2013

mourningdove~ said:
Hey bro? I speak this in love. You might want to proceed cautiously with the jezebel stuff? While it can be true, so also may it be that the behaviors you believe you are seeing are not so much about a jezebel spirit, but rather they may be related to mental health issues.

I'm not talking about insanity here. But there are mental illnesses, there are personality disorders. And some behaviors associated with illness and personality disorders can 'look like' the behavior of evil spirits.

And there are victims of emotional and physical abuse, and trauma.

And there are other things.

It would be so nice if we could just 'exorcise' the demons away from others that we find difficult to get along with ... lol ... but so often, the problem can be more complicated than that.

Maybe you know what you are doing, so I don't mean to interfere. But in case you haven't considered the bigger picture, I thought I'd mention a few other things to you, too.

More people than we know carry a brokenness in their heart that needs a divine touch from God in order to be healed. Till that healing occurs, any of us can behave quite badly.

If I've overstepped boundaries in speaking up on this, please forgive me.

And a disclaimer: I don't know your wife, I don't really know your situation. So when I speak, I'm only speaking in generalities. And also, nothing I've said is the result of a 'word of knowledge' or anything of that sort. What I've shared is just a few of the things I've learned about people, and life.

God bless.

That was what I was thinking also. I don't know MrHappy's wife either, so I can't say anything about it, but my ex mother in law is an extreme example I guess people would call a Jezebel, but it's a spirit, not a person.
She definitely has borderline and was abused as a child by her father, she doesn't forgive anyone. It's also demonic in her case, it was in mine too, but only throwing out some demons won't work. (Frank Hammond teaches about it in pigs in the parlor)
I, my ex tried to help her, others did, but it's hard when someone has a blind spot, blames everyone else and doesn't want healing or deliverance and not to forget repentance and forgive others.
But I had borderline and I didn't control my ex and tell him what to do, I'm not the type for it, but if I was he certainly wouldn't have let me. He's seen his father, a real sweet man, acting like a doormat, he was happy when the Lord took him to heaven, so he was freed from her. Sad to say, but true.

Joy · Aug 21, 2013

mourningdove~ said:
Hey bro? I speak this in love. You might want to proceed cautiously with the jezebel stuff? While it can be true, so also may it be that the behaviors you believe you are seeing are not so much about a jezebel spirit, but rather they may be related to mental health issues.

I'm not talking about insanity here. But there are mental illnesses, there are personality disorders. And some behaviors associated with illness and personality disorders can 'look like' the behavior of evil spirits.

And there are victims of emotional and physical abuse, and trauma.

And there are other things.

It would be so nice if we could just 'exorcise' the demons away from others that we find difficult to get along with ... lol ... but so often, the problem can be more complicated than that.

Maybe you know what you are doing, so I don't mean to interfere. But in case you haven't considered the bigger picture, I thought I'd mention a few other things to you, too.

More people than we know carry a brokenness in their heart that needs a divine touch from God in order to be healed. Till that healing occurs, any of us can behave quite badly.

If I've overstepped boundaries in speaking up on this, please forgive me.

And a disclaimer: I don't know your wife, I don't really know your situation. So when I speak, I'm only speaking in generalities. And also, nothing I've said is the result of a 'word of knowledge' or anything of that sort. What I've shared is just a few of the things I've learned about people, and life.

God bless.

Dear mourningdove
What you have written here confirms what I have been thinking about this
situation.
The reason this lady is acting as she is could be due to an emotional issue.

I've recently had to part with a friend who sees my difficulties as having a demonic origin and because I will not submit to her ministry she says I am being influenced by Satan.

From personal experience I would recommend individuals to seek a balanced Christian approach and understanding to healing and wholeness which may include being freed from demonic influences. But the focus is not solely on deliverence from demons.

mrhappy3 · Aug 21, 2013

Yes, I hear all of you - and it makes sense, to a degree. All noted. Thank you very very much.

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