2 Unmarried Christians couples living under the same roof

L

layhoma

Guest
Thank you everyone for sharing your point of view in your Christian walks of life. Again, this is a hypothetical situation I made up. Please do not pray for the fictitious characters portrayed in here. This post wasn't meant to be deceptive because I have clearly stated in the beginning. Instead of me asking what would Jesus do I ask the public what would they do.

As I have gathered stats from this and the other forum I posted on a different site, the majority would say "Get Married" and I can see the merits in this hypothetical case. Just for argumentative purpose, let's say the girl with the disease knew that getting married with her boyfriend would make their union complete, as two flesh becomes one, so do their spirits. When a spouse dies, a part of the one living dies along. The grief from such union would exponentially increase. In such unfathomable grief, not everyone is strong enough to live through it even with constant consolation of the Holy Spirit. If such action proceeds, the widower may recover in 2 years, 10 years or even maybe 20. Some may fall so deep into a depression and withdrawn from reality, they would never make it for another marriage. Though people make vows in churches "till death do we part", many couldn't deal with the lost , the part of parting and lived a very miserable life thereafter.

My point being, the girl refused to get married because she doesn't want the other half to suffer more than he has to.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Inkachu

Bursting with fruit flavor!
Jan 31, 2008
35,357
4,217
Somewhere between Rivendell and Rohan
✟62,966.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
He wouldn't have suffered more just by having a legal label of "husband" placed on him. You don't love someone at 90% the day before your wedding and love them at 110% the day after the wedding. If he's already willing to stick by her side until her death, his love for her is as extensive as it's gonna get. Since her life expectancy was already less than 1 year, there wouldn't be some prolonged "lack of sex" struggle between them if they didn't marry, because her health would've already been deteriorating to the point where she had mere months to live. They should get married so that 1) he can be with her 24/7 without worrying about temptation or compromising his witness to those around them, and 2) so he can remain with her and make her medical decisions once she requires hospice care or is otherwise unable to make her own decisions. My point is that, his pain at losing her would not be one iota less simply because they did not marry. I speak from experience.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

TheyCallMeDavid

Well-Known Member
May 13, 2013
3,301
99
69
Florida
✟4,108.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Please treat this as purely hypothetical. Your guidance, suggestions, support or rebuttal are all welcome.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years. We have been keeping our vows of celibacy and have been living a Godly life. In fact, occasionally she would stay over at my house and sometimes even fall asleep next to me in my bed as we doze away after chatting and praying together. Still, we never fall from grace. We enjoyed our union spiritually more than physically, at least for now.

Just found out she has Huntington's Disease and her life expectancy is no more than a year. I propose for marriage despite it would be a short one because we are so much in love but she refused and is adamant not wanting her other significant half to end up a widower.

We made a bold decision. A very unorthodox one especially among Christians. We decided to live together in an apartment and spend every minute together until she goes back to her Maker. We know very clearly that there we will not be having sex and we are not enticed by our cardinal nature since the last 2 years have been our testimony to ourselves and God. We love the Lord so much that we would not do anything that would make Him sad and we have so much respect for each other that we would never defile our bodies (temples).

As a precaution that we would not be a stumbling block to others, we would not reveal this to anyone except those that are close and understanding.

That said, anyone here would approve or disapprove or neutral of our course of actions?

Living a Godly life as you mentioned, is living in accordance to Gods Word and his very pure moral nature, character, and person .. so cohabitating is a clear violation of that especially if sex is involved.

It is also considered a violation even if sex is NOT involved, because Gods Word says to avoid any semblence of evil ... and living together unmarried would tend to mare the cause for Christ, ruin your christian testimony, present a situation with near uncontrollable temptation to have sex, and will ultimately ruin your growth and relationship with God.

In short, it just isnt worth it. Some other accomodations are going to be necessary for the care of your g/f if she has an ongoing disease...but let it be a solution that is God honoring. Regards. Take care Friend.
 
Upvote 0

Pal Handy

Irregular Member
Jun 15, 2011
3,796
228
Southeast Michigan
✟20,508.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Please treat this as purely hypothetical. Your guidance, suggestions, support or rebuttal are all welcome.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years. We have been keeping our vows of celibacy and have been living a Godly life. In fact, occasionally she would stay over at my house and sometimes even fall asleep next to me in my bed as we doze away after chatting and praying together. Still, we never fall from grace. We enjoyed our union spiritually more than physically, at least for now.

Just found out she has Huntington's Disease and her life expectancy is no more than a year. I propose for marriage despite it would be a short one because we are so much in love but she refused and is adamant not wanting her other significant half to end up a widower.

We made a bold decision. A very unorthodox one especially among Christians. We decided to live together in an apartment and spend every minute together until she goes back to her Maker. We know very clearly that there we will not be having sex and we are not enticed by our cardinal nature since the last 2 years have been our testimony to ourselves and God. We love the Lord so much that we would not do anything that would make Him sad and we have so much respect for each other that we would never defile our bodies (temples).

As a precaution that we would not be a stumbling block to others, we would not reveal this to anyone except those that are close and understanding.

That said, anyone here would approve or disapprove or neutral of our course of actions?
If this hypothetical person will not marry you then you should not move in together and live as man and wife.

God must come first and He has made it clear that we are to avoid even the appearance of evil so I would say that you can spend good quality time together and still live in separate homes.

Honor God first and put self and your desires and needs second and trust that God
in His wisdom knows that your plans will fail and result in more harm than good.
 
Upvote 0

Ark100

The Lord is my Refuge
Mar 11, 2012
2,041
91
✟10,421.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Private
Please treat this as purely hypothetical. Your guidance, suggestions, support or rebuttal are all welcome.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 years. We have been keeping our vows of celibacy and have been living a Godly life. In fact, occasionally she would stay over at my house and sometimes even fall asleep next to me in my bed as we doze away after chatting and praying together. Still, we never fall from grace. We enjoyed our union spiritually more than physically, at least for now.

Just found out she has Huntington's Disease and her life expectancy is no more than a year. I propose for marriage despite it would be a short one because we are so much in love but she refused and is adamant not wanting her other significant half to end up a widower.

We made a bold decision. A very unorthodox one especially among Christians. We decided to live together in an apartment and spend every minute together until she goes back to her Maker. We know very clearly that there we will not be having sex and we are not enticed by our cardinal nature since the last 2 years have been our testimony to ourselves and God. We love the Lord so much that we would not do anything that would make Him sad and we have so much respect for each other that we would never defile our bodies (temples).

As a precaution that we would not be a stumbling block to others, we would not reveal this to anyone except those that are close and understanding.

That said, anyone here would approve or disapprove or neutral of our course of actions?

Definitely respect her decisions and wishes. God is not some hard core angry God who is waiting with a whip/punishment for you to fall into sins so that He can beat you over the head with it.
We all know who the accuser of the brethren is. If spending time with her for the remainder of the time she has left is what she wants and you are happy about it. Pray about it and do so.
God is a kind and merciful God.
It does not please Him to see His children suffer.
Spend time with her. Dont force anyone (her or you) to tie the knot.
You are staying off of the intimacy and that is what is important. Other things, go ahead, make her feel cherished, loved and special before she goes to meet the Lord, and if that means living together, so be it

Goodluck
 
Upvote 0

BFine

Seed Planter
Jul 19, 2011
7,293
658
My room
✟11,098.00
Faith
Calvary Chapel
Marital Status
Married
He wouldn't have suffered more just by having a legal label of "husband" placed on him. You don't love someone at 90% the day before your wedding and love them at 110% the day after the wedding. If he's already willing to stick by her side until her death, his love for her is as extensive as it's gonna get. Since her life expectancy was already less than 1 year, there wouldn't be some prolonged "lack of sex" struggle between them if they didn't marry, because her health would've already been deteriorating to the point where she had mere months to live. They should get married so that 1) he can be with her 24/7 without worrying about temptation or compromising his witness to those around them, and 2) so he can remain with her and make her medical decisions once she requires hospice care or is otherwise unable to make her own decisions. My point is that, his pain at losing her would not be one iota less simply because they did not marry. I speak from experience.

*What she commented-- right on target.
 
Upvote 0
O

OntheHorizon

Guest
If the concern is that they do not want to become too close then it isn't beneficial to live a married life in form only without the title.

If the concern is that you cannot become too close because the relationship cannot last then they should stop pursuing the relationship. Living it informally does not solve the stated problem.

Neither person wants the intimacy or the permanence, they should accept just being thunderbuddies or really good friends
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

asiyreh

God is salvation
Mar 14, 2012
1,433
62
Ireland
✟9,457.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
There used to be a place over in Scotland called Gretna Green where young couples would run off to and get married. Lol but I'm not saying thats a good idea.

Have you talked to any of your parents about your situation? Perhaps they might be more willing than you know to help out. People go weak at the knees for a love story. The Gospel of Love is very much the centre of creation. Speaking of Lewis earlier. Lewis was converted to Christianity have been a prof of mythology for years, when he eventually worked out, after studying Christianity he realised that the truth was in Christ and all others best and most beautiful tales were a reflection, and I guess your's too is a beautiful one, because it's so tragic.

Speak to your parents...

I love to tell you many things from my own very much fallen human heart. But I mustn't write anymore on this thread...
 
Upvote 0