I am going to stop

I am going to stop lusting for one year, starting today. If I find myself wanting to lust, I will run from that situation.

Why just one year?

justlovinJesus said:

Why just one year?

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OK. I don't actually mean one year. I mean forever. But I hear it takes 6 months to a year to break a habit. So I figured if I do it for one year the habit will be gone, I won't want to do it. Basically, I am counting up to one year. I can't lust any more. It is tormenting my soul.

I'd say you would likely have more success if you take things day by day and moment by moment- turning to prayer when tempted. It's not an easy struggle you have. May God guide you to Himself.

Saying I'm going to stop __________ will just leave you feeling frustrating and hopeless.

Because the minute you screw up you're going to feel like a failure.

Instead why not say for the next year I'm going to work as hard as I can to resist ______ or deal with _____ and I'm going to do _______ in order to do that.

It's pretty nigh impossible to stop lusting completely. Doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but you're going to stumble. So instead of setting impossible goals for youself, instead work on how you can protect yourself and keep your thoughts away from lust.

Spunkn said:

Saying I'm going to stop __________ will just leave you feeling frustrating and hopeless.

Because the minute you screw up you're going to feel like a failure.

Instead why not say for the next year I'm going to work as hard as I can to resist ______ or deal with _____ and I'm going to do _______ in order to do that.

It's pretty nigh impossible to stop lusting completely. Doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but you're going to stumble. So instead of setting impossible goals for youself, instead work on how you can protect yourself and keep your thoughts away from lust.

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This is the best advice on this thread for you. Couldn't agree more. You are right when you said it takes 6 months to break a habit. Well you gotta focus more on the grace of God and the blessings of doing other things besides lusting than just trying to abstain from it. Positive things are always stronger than negative things - and this is the case when it comes to GOALS.

Spunkn said:

Saying I'm going to stop __________ will just leave you feeling frustrating and hopeless.

Because the minute you screw up you're going to feel like a failure.

Instead why not say for the next year I'm going to work as hard as I can to resist ______ or deal with _____ and I'm going to do _______ in order to do that.

It's pretty nigh impossible to stop lusting completely. Doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but you're going to stumble. So instead of setting impossible goals for youself, instead work on how you can protect yourself and keep your thoughts away from lust.

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I agree - and also, the only way you can have a hope of overcoming this problem is by asking Jesus to help you and trusting in *his* power. We have our part to play (staying committed, continuing when we stumble), but it is very important to understand by whose power we can conquer these issues.

steamforthis said:

Okay, I feel very bad for laughing at this post.

However, OP, can you explain "lust" more carefully?

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Sexual lust: When I watch two people in a movie and they are kissing, I don't necessarily lust after them, I just lust after the situation. For example, I may want someone that close and so I get unholy desires. I don't know if that makes sense.

child630 said:

sexual lust

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I think you may be setting a very high goal, however, at least you are giving an effort.

child630 said:

Sexual lust: When I watch two people in a movie and they are kissing, I don't necessarily lust after them, I just lust after the situation. For example, I may want someone that close and so I get unholy desires. I don't know if that makes sense.

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Yep. And we are warned to be careful what we see/watch, for exactly this reason. This is especially important for men because men are more visual. I still really try to stay away from watching movies with gratuitous sex/nudity. I have much more control over lust but it still is a trigger.

amandatea said:

Matthew 5:27-30 ESV
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

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This is also true.

You'll be much better served if you stop focusing on what you don't want to be or do and instead fix your mind upon what you do want to be and do. Many people grow up thinking, "I'll never be like my Mom (or Dad)! She's so controlling, and manipulative, and angry! She's so blah, blah, blah..." Unfortunately, these very same people end up becoming just like the parent they so despise. Why? Because we are made to be conformed to what we focus on! The child who focuses on what they hate about their parent becomes conformed to that focus. So, when you say to yourself, "I will not lust for a year!" you fix your thinking upon what you don't want to do. If you do this repeatedly (which you will since lust is an inevitable part of being a sexual being) the very thing you want to avoid will begin to shape your behaviour. If you want to be free from sin's grip, if you want to be like Christ, do as the Bible says and "look unto Jesus the author and finisher of your faith." Focus on what you want to be and do, not on the sin you want to avoid. Direct your thoughts toward Christ and his excellent character and example. Steep your mind in God's truth. Submit to the Holy Spirit's transforming work and you will find yourself in time conquering lust without having to make impossible promises to yourself to avoid it.

2 Corinthians 3:18
18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

Jude 1:24-25
24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
25 To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.


Selah.

I did for a week and it killed me. I'd try simply slowing down until you do none at all. Or, simply find a hobby to occupy yourself.

aiki said:

You'll be much better served if you stop focusing on what you don't want to be or do and instead fix your mind upon what you do want to be and do. Many people grow up thinking, "I'll never be like my Mom (or Dad)! She's so controlling, and manipulative, and angry! She's so blah, blah, blah..." Unfortunately, these very same people end becoming just like the parent they so despise. Why? Because we are made to be conformed to what we focus on! The child who focuses on what they hate about their parent becomes conformed by that focus. So, when you say to yourself, "I will not lust for a year!" you fix your thinking upon what you don't want to do. If you do this repeatedly (which you will since lust is an inevitable part of being a sexual being) the very thing you want to avoid will begin to shape your behaviour. If you want to be free, if you want to be like Christ, do as the Bible says and "look unto Jesus the author and finisher of your faith." Focus on what you want to be and do, not on the sin you want to avoid. Direct your thoughts toward Christ and his excellent character and example. Steep your mind in God's truth. Submit to God's Spirit transforming work and you will find yourself in time conquering lust without having to make impossible promises to yourself to avoid it.

2 Corinthians 3:18
18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

Jude 1:24-25
24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
25 To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.


Selah.

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This is spot on!

1Corinthians 6:9-10 "Know ye not the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not decieved: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."

Pretty much what everyone else said. Especially Aiki. The more I thought about the things I did wrong, the more they happened anyway. It was a vicious cycle. I take things day to day and focus on other things. Does this mean I won't mess up in certain areas? No. We are still human and make mistakes.

Too much repression of natural desire may lead to worse distortions. Making strict rules and vows in this area almost always ends in failure/guilt or self-righteousness. My suggestion would be to take it day by day, with humility. It's a good idea for all of us to ask God for the wisdom to discern what is sinful and what is not, and the perspective to love others rather than focusing so much on ourselves and our righteousness-by-rules.

How do I know if I am, reading that or not?