Some of you may remember me.. my bf broke up with me when he visited back home to Vegas bcuz of intimate things i can't do til marriage and because I won't stay with anyone who drinks..anyway i took him back since he's been loyal to me since I've been on bedrest ill since Sept I mean I've been super ill,in and out of hosp even mayo clinic, and he's been there beside my bed up til vegas end of Feb. Anyways he swore to me he only left bcuz he was,stressed because I've been so sick so long but thursday before last he told me soon as I'm well again he's using all of his bonus to take me to my fave place,disneyland, just the two of us. I had to tell him I'm not allowed to vaca with bfs alone because I was raised honeymoon is the first trip alone. He got upset said I'm 23 but too old fashioned thinking and that when it comes to my Bible and beliefs he takes a backseat and he has to do all the budging including moving to cali for my career but that I don't consider his beliefs(sex is ok if in love,drinking is ok just not all the time, and trips with bf aren't wrong either) and said he needs someone who puts him b4 everything else so he was sorry but was breaking up with me.that night he was drunk texting me already telling me that he'd find a girl who loves him as much as I, will put him first b4 all, and will sleep with him so I quit responding since it hurt badly. He not only kicked me off fb but blocked me also even though I never fb him and kicked off OUR mutual friends. Now skip ahead to last thur, one week after break up, and now im unblocked not friends but unblocked and he's texting me begging me back saying he only left bcuz he was hurt I said no to disney since he was just taking me there to.propose by castle and that the ring is ready for pickup in 2weeks. For 3 days I was saying since he left me last month and cant take him back but since he knows again how strongly I need my moms blessing on relationships he text her Saturday and let her tear him up again(she did it last month but gave him a last chance)
anyway this time she woudnt approve. So he text me again begging me to marry him this dec on disneys bday,when i again said I can't that you left me b4 he said, "don't just remember these last few bad times, i may stray from the path sometimes but i always come back I was gone days not weeks, pls dont do this to us I'm worth it. Remember I was the guy stuck with you this entire time you've been sick, I'm the guy who sat at your hospital bedside each time, im the guy who helped pick up all your hair that falls out over your bed(my hairs falling out handful at a time now recently) im the guy who's brought you gifts hugs and kisses so dont leave me for this I've done more good for you than bad pls be my wife" but my fam said i basically have to choose him or them no more chances not even if we have kids someday, so I told him no and I'm back to being blocked my bro was kicked off of PS3 but I feel guilty bcuz hes right.. how many other 20 almos 21 yr old guys would have stuck around since sept for their sick 23 year old gf? I feel guilty, sick to my stomach and cryiglng bcuz i hurt him and he said he just keps crying.. was I too harsh? He was loyal and did the things he said down to the hair, so should i give him another chance is this some of my fault? I need help please
anyway this time she woudnt approve. So he text me again begging me to marry him this dec on disneys bday,when i again said I can't that you left me b4 he said, "don't just remember these last few bad times, i may stray from the path sometimes but i always come back I was gone days not weeks, pls dont do this to us I'm worth it. Remember I was the guy stuck with you this entire time you've been sick, I'm the guy who sat at your hospital bedside each time, im the guy who helped pick up all your hair that falls out over your bed(my hairs falling out handful at a time now recently) im the guy who's brought you gifts hugs and kisses so dont leave me for this I've done more good for you than bad pls be my wife" but my fam said i basically have to choose him or them no more chances not even if we have kids someday, so I told him no and I'm back to being blocked my bro was kicked off of PS3 but I feel guilty bcuz hes right.. how many other 20 almos 21 yr old guys would have stuck around since sept for their sick 23 year old gf? I feel guilty, sick to my stomach and cryiglng bcuz i hurt him and he said he just keps crying.. was I too harsh? He was loyal and did the things he said down to the hair, so should i give him another chance is this some of my fault? I need help please