I'm considering trying online dating again.

you have really quite a turnout here. You are smart and deep and are connected with what you feel--and you are good at expressing what you think and feel. (which I know you know already are all desirable good qualities) I think you are expressing a main nerve a lot of people feel. The "form" so-to-speak. I don't know everyone, but I know enough to guess it to be a kind of universal feeling that everyone goes through many times. I certainly have, most all of my friends through life have, most people I've ever talked to have. The fact that you are not alone in this feeling, means it is normal.

It is always possible that there is something to try--but you being creative, I doubt anyone is going to come up with something you haven't tried. I don't think there is anything to blame or anything wrong with you. Someone can always say maybe there is something I don't see in my life--that I don't see--at my end (or hers or inbetween). But I am not some expert of your life to know if that is anywhere in the ballpark to even start. If someone said that to me, I think it would just add to my feeling that something is wrong with me. I know the feeling is horrible, but it is normal. You aren't alone. You are free and good to feel things. I'd bet you are already questioning even this sentence, but I'm just wondering, if most people feel this, what might that mean is going on with people? (not necessarily you, just someone like me when I feel it.) Now, before someone posts a youtube of Adam Sandler singing Love Stinks, the fact is most people do meet someone--including Adam Sandler's character. Which again, this normal feeling is why so many like that song . . . except at weddings.

Reminds me of the other day I was out having some good beer with a good friend. There was a huge group of people playing a game who were all great friends. Each seemed to be a kind of outcast. But clearly they weren't outcasts by the very fact that they were so loving and bonded together. We ourselves were pulled in by their warmth and found ourselves talking and laughing with them. But I wouldn't be surprised if several at that table went home and felt they were still not normal or fit in anywhere--because feeling that way is normal too.

I know this is all a little off topic and doesn't really apply to you. I guess I was just reminded of that and I get a little off topic eating home fatty pork chops with pork gravy made from the fat. If you only live once, you gotta live! And I know you all over in Penn live the life.

Sounds like Satan's going after you pretty hard. Everytime you get frustrated, feeling down about it. Pray. Outloud if you need to. Or read Scriptures. Every time you feel attacked, like it's coming back, pray again. It will probably get worse for a while. But Satan's not going to keep coming after you, if he knows that you're going to go to God every time he does it. And you get the added benefit of spending more time with God to help you.

I never said to blame them on God or Satan, I only said that Satan was probably attacking you. Do you not believe that Satan goes after believers who are struggling? We cannot blame him for our problems, but that does not mean he does not contribute to them.

There's a difference. Anyway, my posts just seem to further upset you so I'll take my leave from your thread. I hope you find encouragement and a solution to the problem. It's not fun to watch anyone struggle with issues such as these.

MacFall said:

I think that gives him credit for more power than he actually has, really.

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That's true to some extent, Satan only has as much effect on you, as you allow him to have. However, I think we all let him effect us to a great degree sometimes.

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

What would be the purpose of this verse, if he had no effect on us at all? It is a verse that tells us to do these things continually, so that we may be protected. Not just once.

Anyway, I'll stop derailing your thread.

if you want to do it, do it. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. I don't really understand why you want people to talk you out of this, when the decision really is yours. We've given you some advice on the pros and cons; do with that information what you will!

MacFall said:

Because I know the idea is completely pointless and idiotic but I want to do it anyway. I imagine this is something like how a compulsive gambler or drug addict must feel.

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Hahaha, I know the feeling.

MacFall said:

I think that gives him credit for more power than he actually has, really.

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We all have weaknesses. The enemy knows them, and will attack you there. The trick is to know them yourself. Of course, God knows them too...

MacFall said:

What is "normal" about asking out dozens of women face to face and hundreds online and not even being able to get one to agree to go out for coffee?

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OK. This concerns me. You say you've asked hundreds of women out online and yet you've also said you've only ever had 2 responses from scam artists on any given website. That leads me to think that you're just messaging women immediately to ask them out without laying any kind of ground work. Of course they won't respond to that let alone go out with you. I got a few messages like that out of the blue from men I had never spoken to with even so much as a "hi, how are you?" asking me to go out with them. Or exchange phone numbers immediately. That kind of approach sends up some serious red flags to women.

Don't jump the gun. Don't rush. Don't push. I've seen you push far too hard and come on far too clingy in a past pursuit. And my concern is that you haven't learned from that and you're applying the same pressure to these other women.

Add that level of desperation with the bitterness you're expressing here, there can't be much surprise that women aren't rushing to go out with you. And I'm sorry, I know you've said you've tried the whole "be positive" and accept yourself approach, but I don't believe it. You might have tried, you might have even believed you were sending that message across, but women are an intuitive bunch. We can pick up on things and read in between the lines (well so can men, but hey you're not trying to land yourself a man sooo...). If you were truly happy with yourself and had a positive mindset that showed that you were confident and OK with who you are - that would have shown and people would have responded to it. If you really accepted yourself, you wouldn't have fallen to basing your worth on how women respond to you or how (un)successful your dating life is. The problem here is that its not an approach which seems to be how you view it. Its not a key to dating success. Its a key to your own personal happiness and confidence. Everything else comes secondary to that.

You surprise me. I thought everyone in West Penn was always positive and optimistic.

little_tigress said:

That leads me to think that you're just messaging women immediately to ask them out without laying any kind of ground work. Of course they won't respond to that let alone go out with you. I got a few messages like that out of the blue from men I had never spoken to with even so much as a "hi, how are you?" asking me to go out with them. Or exchange phone numbers immediately. That kind of approach sends up some serious red flags to women.

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That's true. Immediately asking me out made me immediately delete my account. I thought: my goodness, what is this? I've never been on those sites before.

redblue22 said:

You surprise me. I thought everyone in West Penn was always positive and optimistic.

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Not in the winter...we complain and groan about the 5 feet of snow we get and wish for summer.
And THEN...when summer comes, we complain and groan some more because it's so freakin' hot (even though it's only 80F).

When you ask that many girls out and they say no... Then that is totally normal. You are doing something very very very wrong.... Which has nothing to do with looks.

If i read correctly and if* you asked that many girls out then that's disturbing.

Yay Ethie is back.