I understand the divorce process is ugly, and the affair and leaving husband are awful as well,.
that is the problem, you do not understand. It came across loud and clear in the lack of empathy in your tone. It is rather clear you did not and possible do not want to put you in her shoes for a second.
What you are really saying is " I know she went through this and this, BUT" , in another word, BIG DEAL?
but it does't set well with me the idea of a woman not telling her not yet ex-husband about a child they conceived, and instead fleeing the country.,.
well, since you are so unempathetic, I don't think I actually care what set well or not set well with you at all.
Does this man, whom she married, have not one redeeming quality that could benefit a child? If not, why'd she marry him?
well, you are not her, you do not know her situation other than the little bit I have shared
as for redeeming quality? well, I am a mother, let say I have one redeeming quality and that is that I care about the homeless and hence is setting a good example for my boys, BUT, I also feed bunch of hateful garbage into their head about their father, which would not only deprive them of a health relationship on both sides, but would have an impact on their emotional development as well as character.
As you can see, in this hypothetical scenario, I do have a good quality, but I would argue it is anything but redeeming.
I could be way off base, and am a bit surprised I'm alone in my position, but I don't think this is a situation where mom gets to evade the father. Things got ugly here but I assume he is not a wife beater, drug addict, or dangerous criminal. She slept with the man not long ago, so I assume he wasn't a full blown ogre until the affair leaked. For better or worst, he is now a father.
I don't think, unless he is a danger to his child, that his legally married spouse has a legal right (or moral right) to hide his child from him.
well, they say a person character is not defined by what they do in the good times, but in the times of trial.
let say I behave in a right manner with my husband right now because I am in love with at them moment, well, it would not say about my character should I behave differently when my feeling for him changed and we are going through a divorce.
danger to the child? well, since when does not beating or killing one's own children became the definition of a good parent or even a good influence on the child's life?
What is more is that I believe being parent is not a right, but a privilege.
We as parents do not own the child as such.
It is like with my boys, I am always aware that they are gifts from God, and with gifts, also comes with responbility and one day I will have answer to God on how I parent them.
