Give "Bad" Advice (2)

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MastersPiece

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What do you mean 'HOW'?? - Just go ahead and shove it in the electrical outlet.. if you get a new hairdo in the process, it's working!
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What's the best way to deal with hypocrites?
 
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captainkate

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What do you mean 'HOW'?? - Just go ahead and shove it in the electrical outlet.. if you get a new hairdo in the process, it's working!
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What's the best way to deal with hypocrites?

LMBO! haahaaha! ^_^ ^_^^_^ ^_^
 
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lucypevensie

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What do you mean 'HOW'?? - Just go ahead and shove it in the electrical outlet.. if you get a new hairdo in the process, it's working!
electricf.gif


What's the best way to deal with hypocrites?

Smack them upside the head with the biggest Bible you can find. This will naturally lead them to repentance.

I'm super tired but shivery cold. How can I fall asleep quickly?
 
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MastersPiece

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If you want to fall asleep AND be warm I suggest taking an entire box of Gravol in the sauna. (It's your lucky night Lucy I'm going to share some extra wisdom here: Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night, it usually doesn't work out well).

How do you train a goat to use the toilet?
 
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imoss

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Go purchase a torch and watch a YouTube video on how to properly strip in a patch using excessive heat.

Or you could pay for my husband to fly down and do a patch for you.
I of course would insist on accompanying him :).

My dog won't come when called.
 
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MastersPiece

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Well for pity sakes imoss, don't let the dog outside! - Keep him inside and just let him poop on the floor, you'll always know where he is and that way you can just grab him by the scruff of the neck and haul him around.

The kitty at the place I'm moving to is timid & I want her to cuddle with me at night..how do I get her to do that?
 
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lucypevensie

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It would be foolish to stand up now and walk to the thermostat, unless you enjoy having frostbite. For goodness sake, stay where you are and wait for warmer weather. It's only a few weeks away.

I always get cold after I come home from my morning walk. How can I get warm and stay warm?
 
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Thom79

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Get a really long extension cord 100 ft.+. Next wrap up yourself up in an electric blanket. Now you can go everywhere in the blanket with the 100ft+ cord.

If you want to see if a horse is awake & alert. Just go behind him/her and give their tail a gentle tug.
 
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lucypevensie

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Grab a credit card and head to Chicago where they have a Ruth's Chris steak house. Best steak evar. Actually, I've never been there, but I am pretty sure it's good.

My daughter wants to cook dinner tonight. What should she make, and should I help her?
 
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Juelrei

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Your daughter has to learn how to cook on her own. Don't hover over her, it'll make her nervous. Leave the room and allow her to make a delicious meal using the odds and ends of food you've got on hand. It'll be practice for when she's married and living on a tight budget.

I'm too sick to do housework, I need to sleep but my husband keeps interrupting me. What would you advise him to do about mixed clothes laundry?
 
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MastersPiece

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Your hubby ought to know the best thing to do with mixed clothing is to stuff as many clothes into the wash as possible, then pour in 2 cups of JOY dish detergent (it's cheaper than laundry detergent)..Add a can of guacamole dip to the machine because it's healthy. When it's done he won't only not try to wake you but he'll probably try to keep you asleep.

How do I prevent the cat from licking the piece of salmon I put out to thaw for dinner??
 
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MastersPiece

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Take your $1.00 Walgreens coupon to a CVS Pharmacy and demand they redeem it there. Then fill a basket with $20.00 items and take them out 1 by 1 asking if the coupon will cover each item.... if you do this long enough they're bound to give you one of the items for a buck!

What's the best way to eat Lipton-Cup-of-Soup?
 
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