What's the point?

Why in the middle of everything, do I feel God taking everything away from me, I asked God to take away my fear of not being in a relationship,
and it's nearly all gone, I asked him because of inappropriate contentography,( in my life before being a christian) to lower my sex drive, for a while so I can be healed,
because I was looking at women and images from films and magazines kept popping into my head and was very disturbing when I looked at women and that's not the way I want to look at them.
He's taken it all my drive away, so hopefully I can heal and I'm hoping he will give me it back, things seem to be going the right way but tonight I woke up, prayed about this girl I really liked I felt such a love in my heart for her when I was praying then I felt God steal all I felt for her and now it's gone and I felt he said brother,
which I'm presuming he means be her brother, I want to be married and hopefully have children, God is doing amazing things in my life but he is letting me in on none of it.
I feel like I'm being used as a puppet, God does amazing things then tells me nothing, I have no idea what's going on in my life, I know nothing, this isn't a relationship it's him doing some great things for me, telling me nothing, I have always had a huge desire for a wife but I was thinking about it all the time so it was like idolatry,
it was getting obsessive. He helped me but I feel even the desires going, so why did I have such a huge desire in the first place didn't he give me it, and why take this girl away from me,
I felt a love for her that I've never felt before it wasn't a lust I wanted to sit with her and read the bible and talk, sure I liked her I thought she was attractive and I would want to kiss her, but I didn't want to sleep with her, I would have wanted to save that if we got married. I didn't really know if she liked me, but I could have found out,
I really feel like everything is being done behind my back and I'm being told nothing, so what's the point. What's the point in giving me thoughts and feelings if I'm not allowed to express them, why give me a heart for a wife, if it's pretty obvious he wants me single, of course I don't fully know as God never speaks, what's the point in all if this.

Thank you very much, it's so hard I felt so bound by the enemy this morning. I just wanted to die, I know I idolise I have begged God to help me, it's not my fault I don't know where it's come from, I don't want it, I want everything in balance, God first and a wife second if it's his will, like I said I felt so punished today, I've begged God to tell me what his plans are for my future, I can't demand anything, like it says in Job, who has given anything that I need to pay it back, everything under heaven and earth is mine. I can't demand, but I have pleaded with my father to tell me my fate, I can't stand it anymore, if it's not the enemy having a go, my mind does the same, I have dealt with this for about a year, just crying every day, I don't expect my father to answer but I can only hope he will hear my prayer. God bless you for helping me.