My Wife Wants a Tummy Tuck - What Should I Do?

Hello,

My wife has requested that I pay for a tummy tuck for her. Her skin on her stomach is a bit wrinkly and loose. I don't mind it at all. In fact I love it because it reminds me of the children she bore.

She recently shared that the look of her stomach really embarrasses her. She is very bothered by it and it is a real eye sore to her. She asked if I would pay to allow her to have a tummy tuck. I'm a bit apprehensive about it because I don't feel it is needed.

What should I do?

Communication is key. Tell her how you feel, but if she insists, you may want to get her the procedure. Remember, if momma ain't happy, nobody is.

Give. Hope for nothing in return. Does it bother her, help her. Does it bother her what others think, shallow, help her. God is aware of all. Does she desire to impress others, she fails, give anyway. One cannot ever go wrong doing good. God judges each individually. It is Gods job alone to judge. Vengeance belongs unto God alone.

Satt said:

Communication is key. Tell her how you feel, but if she insists, you may want to get her the procedure. Remember, if momma ain't happy, nobody is.

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"if momma ain't happy, nobody is". Load of junk. God is the only one worthy of glory. Serve God or fail.

christmylife said:

I'm a bit apprehensive about it because I don't feel it is needed.

What should I do?

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What are you worried about the medical aspect of it? The potential for infection from the procedure? Or the fact that she will be running around in bikinis with men looking at her? All legit concerns.

Who try's to please the entire world...the wicked only. A man is for a woman and a woman is for a man. If one or the other is attempting to please others physically when married, that one sins against God Himself. That one literally and spiritually rejects God in order to fulfill that ones own lusts, rejecting and deleting God and spouse 100%. Thou shall not commit adultry is still Gods command. And yes, Paul agrees.

Trust in God alone and let each be judged by God alone. God is in fact the Judge.

Voice your concerns to your spouse. If she still feels embarrassed afterwards, then perhaps you should allow her to get it.

You say you don't feel there is a need for it, but obviously your wife does.

Does it bother her while she's exercising...maybe flopping around when she does jumping jacks?

I don't know how badly her skin is hanging, but it COULD be bothering her more than just in appearance. Maybe it's making clothing fit odd on her as well?

christmylife said:

Hello,

My wife has requested that I pay for a tummy tuck for her. Her skin on her stomach is a bit wrinkly and loose. I don't mind it at all. In fact I love it because it reminds me of the children she bore.

She recently shared that the look of her stomach really embarrasses her. She is very bothered by it and it is a real eye sore to her. She asked if I would pay to allow her to have a tummy tuck. I'm a bit apprehensive about it because I don't feel it is needed.

What should I do?

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I think it's good that you've expressed to her that YOU don't think it's necessary at all, that you are attracted to her just the way she is. Good job.

And since you've done that, and we now know that her motive is that she truly wants to feel better about herself, and it's not that she feels insecure about your relationship, I'd let her have it done if I were in your situation.

christmylife said:

Hello,

My wife has requested that I pay for a tummy tuck for her. Her skin on her stomach is a bit wrinkly and loose. I don't mind it at all. In fact I love it because it reminds me of the children she bore.

She recently shared that the look of her stomach really embarrasses her. She is very bothered by it and it is a real eye sore to her. She asked if I would pay to allow her to have a tummy tuck. I'm a bit apprehensive about it because I don't feel it is needed.

What should I do?

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A tummy tuck only treats the symptom but not the cause.

Proper diet and exercise would benefit your wife in a complete way as it would
maker her healthier, stronger, feeling better mentally and physically
and produce a flatter tummy and leaner physique.

A tummy tuck will leave a scar that must be covered and will still
leave the underlying problem of a sedentary life style and poor self esteem behind.

I think that doing what is difficult will have far reaching benefits
for your wife's health and sense of well being than paying a surgeon
to cut away some belly fat.

Why not change her life style before doing plastic surgery?

A tummy tuck might lead to other surgeries if she continues to
gain weight in other areas and wants to look better without any effort.

This is my two cents so get with your wife, discuss and pray about it
and seek God's wisdom on how you should proceed.

It's possible that she already leads a healthy lifestyle and is fit and active, and is still dealing with the discomfort and poor appearance of loose skin around the mid section.

I agree with the others that communication is vital here. Tell her that you still find her beautiful, regardless of the excess skin around her midsection, and that it makes you uncomfortable for her to get this procedure. If she insists then I guess you can go ahead and pay for her.

Seriously though, I ask this: Is no one happy with the way they look anymore?

1 Corinthians 7:33
But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:34
There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

Love is of God.

This is JUST my opinion. But we shouldn't be into vanity. I mean more to the point. You two are married. If you are happy with how she looks then why is she worried about it? She should only be focused on what you think of her body. Not what others think since they are not the ones married to her. You belong to each other, her body yours and your body hers. I know women like to stay attractive, but your the one she should be attracting, no one else. Who else does she need to attract?

Granted women are more...um... "weird" about their bodies because of media making them think they need to look perfect. And really in the end, even outside of you she should only care about what God thinks of her body. And the bible says God created us in his image so he is pleased. So if hes pleased with her body as his creation, she shouldn't worry about it.

Not to mention you start getting into other territory such as what if she wants more done? As in she makes it her idol. What if that money could be used elsewhere? We are to be good stewards of our money. I doubt a tummy tuck is high up there on the list of things God wants us to use it on.

Hopefully that helped. If not and I sounded stupid. Feel free to kick me in the knee. lol

someguy14 said:

"if momma ain't happy, nobody is". Load of junk. God is the only one worthy of glory. Serve God or fail.

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Seriously? He's not giving his wife glory. You don't know that he's not serving God. If she needs this in order to feel attractive, then why not? I suppose women shouldn't wear makeup either, huh?

I don't think God will object.

Your wife is too beautiful for a tummy tuck.

Every one has leeway in their weight, as for every thing else, there is no reason to think too much of something is a problem if it is still not out of hand.

Butchery for vanity is an obsenity.

MoneyGuy said:

Seriously? He's not giving his wife glory. You don't know that he's not serving God. If she needs this in order to feel attractive, then why not? I suppose women shouldn't wear makeup either, huh?

I don't think God will object.

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Serve God or fail.
God is love. Disagree with that, become an enemy of God Himself.

"Proper diet and exercise" -- a woman asking for a tummy tuck is probably already obsessed over diet and exercise. Take a look at the people who have lost large amounts of weight -- their new problem is loose skin, and they often have tucks to pull it all together after losing weight.

One thing you might want to look at -- women often feel powerless when the men have control over all the finances. The fact that she needs to ask you for money and permission puts her in a position of being like a child again, depending on her dad for transportation or school funding. Some women like this, but most yearn to get out of that dynamic.

This might be a time to restructure your finances in a way that both of you have control over your budget in a balanced, fairly independent way. Allow her to make her own financial decisions within a certain budget, even if she is not generating an income right now. It will be easier on you and create a healthier relationship if she is not seen as the begging voice, and you are not seen as the one who grants permission.

Make a way for it to be her decision, if you can afford to.

EazyMack said:

I think it's good that you've expressed to her that YOU don't think it's necessary at all, that you are attracted to her just the way she is. Good job.

And since you've done that, and we now know that her motive is that she truly wants to feel better about herself, and it's not that she feels insecure about your relationship, I'd let her have it done if I were in your situation.

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^This. It's good that you shared your thoughts with her. Plus, it's really not about you and what you think anyway. It's about her and what she thinks about her own body. It's her skin and stomach. If she gets a tummy tuck, perhaps she will then stop being so obsessed with how her body looks.

Also, as to what parsley said regarding having to ask your permission and for the funds for the procedure- she shouldn't have to as she's an adult. If it were me, I'd talk over my concerns with my husband and value his opinion/input, but in the end, I'd be informing him that I was going to get a tummy tuck or not, not asking his permission for one.