Yes, and I understand that. But you see I am thinking West Point, so I only have about two years, and until then I need to be taking really advanced classes and trying to keep up a 4.0 GPA. When I told her that God had showed me "something that I wasn't ready to share," and I told her when, she actually guessed the army, but after she had just said she wasn't sure that God even intended for women to be in the army there was no way that I was going to admit it. But I have taken too much of an interest in my grades lately, and that is making my mom suspicious too, because I shrugged off a 65 one time, but today I started crying over an 85, because it was barely a B. It is an honors course, so that will help me pull it up, but I don't know. And my first high school science I ended up with either a C+ or a B-. So I just don't know how I am going to get all of this together if I don't tell her soon. But it is getting harder and harder. And so much for thinking my dad would be ANY help, I think he is going to be worse than my mom, considering what she said about how he feels about women doing something she is okay with. I just don't really see where it is a biblical issue, except in that we need to do what God tells us too. And the whole thing about the danger, I mean she doesn't even really know this is a consideration, although there have been a few indicators, if she has been paying any attention. Like the time I "accidentally" ordered books on basic training, or the "add for the army came up by accident", but they have been spread a couple of weeks apart, and the information goes with government, so I can tie that into that. I have been praying for those indications, and the things that have come up, like a girl I know who is in college and has been wanting me to call her is thinking the same thing, and another friend of mine is thinking he is going to go with rotc in college, then the army. So there have been quite a few things coming up lately, and people like that girl I know, you know that I can talk too, and just things tying together. My love for America, and I have always kept in good shape, wanting to be a professional athlete, and things are just all starting to fit together, like the pieces of a puzzle. I will be praying that. I have just been crying out to God to make her see. Oh definitely. I am going to do what He says regardless, but I am really nervous about doing anything that my mom isn't going to approve of. I just really don't know how to find women to talk to about it. I have a couple of friends with military parents, and I mentioned that one friend of mine, obviously she knows a lot and she is very seriously considering it, but other than that, I don't know how without my mom's help. Also, I really only want to talk to christians for now, I am getting enough of the junk in the political world. I am definitely burying myself in research. I have a thick layer of library books on the bottom of my clothes drawers, and a couple in my bag, along with my nice thick binder of notes/definitions/acronyms/etc. So anyway, I really am praying about this, and praying that God will change my parents hearts on the issue.
God Bless,
Ashleigh
((Any team is a tragic loss if that is what occurred))
