Ladies what do you think about Prenuptial agreements

little_tigress said:

Not at all interested in the idea of a prenup.

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Same. It'd be my way of saying that divorce isn't an option for me. If she wanted one, it would cause me to question her outlook on lifetime marital commitment. I can completely understand someone seeing the wisdom in wanting to protect their assets, but I just don't plan on even leaving the door cracked open for divorce, and that's something that a woman would have to agree with me on before we get married.

I am disheartened that people must take these agreements out to avoid the divorce system being abused. It is disheartening that divorce is such a probability that insurance for what will happen should it happen are considered.

I would not be happy about signing one.

Not only do I not have a problem signing a prenup, but I may be the one suggesting such. I'll be making a pretty penny, and the simple fact is that people change. I have no intentions of ever going through divorce, but I'm not oblivious to the fact that I can't control someone else. It's a matter of protection.

My association with prenups is typically with those of the richer sort who possess property, bank accounts with plenty of money in them and other such things. As such it has never crossed my mind that one may be needed. Ever.

I flip flop between my willingness to sign one. Some days I think "who cares" and others I honestly believe I would feel offended that it was deemed necessary. I don't know. Maybe if it were a more common thing here I would be less wary of signing one. I'd also need to double check the validity of prenups in the courts here ... I know they've not traditionally been enforced, so I doubt it would be worth the paper it was printed on.

It helps that I view a lifetime of rental properties, low wages and nothing much of material worth as being nothing to get in a tizzy over should divorce enter the picture. It also helps that I tend to go "meh" about the whole "oh no, they're going to take my material gains!" thing.

Edit: oh, there is an authority indicating they may be enforceable, interesting. Although from the looks of it there are quite a few t's to cross and i's to dot in order for it to be enforced under English law without the judge going "this is not a contract, be gone!".

K9_Trainer said:

Not Christian, but personally, I think it's unwise to go into a marriage without one if you actually have assets to protect.

It doesn't mean you don't trust your potential spouse, nor does it mean you aren't serious. I compare it to the acrobats at the circus who swing around and talk on tight ropes...They don't do it without a net. No matter how much they've practiced, no matter how good they are, strong they are, how good their balance is, how much they trust one another. Some may go years and years, or their entire acrobat career without falling. But one slip and if that net isn't there, then somebody's going to have to scrape brains off the floor.

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I am in law school and I've done stuff with family law. But, right now, I would not get a prenuptial agreement because I have no assets to protect...when you enter into marriage, everything you own prior to marrying, or inherit/gifted is your separate property. In a divorce, separate property should be traced to verify it as such. Hence, I'm not concerned about any inheritance I receive from my family being jeopardized in a divorce without a prenupt.

Premarital agreements aren't enforceable on any child custody stuff either.

Community property is everything accrued during marriage, including property, wages, and income from any separate property.

Most people probably don't even need a prenuptial agreement unless they have significant assets and if entered into, periodic post-marriage partition of property should occur annually or bi-annually after the marriage so the prenupt can be truly effective - it gets messy if commingling of assets occurs.

But as I said, for me, I don't see any point of having a prenupt unless I met and married Mr. Big Bucks and he wanted me to sign (and I would if requested).

If I get married it will only be with God's blessing i.e. I will want an assurance from God that this is the man he wants me to marry. Assuming I get that, then I will concentrate on loving my husband and seeking to serve the Lord in whatever way, not worrying about whether my husband is going to leave me or not. In the unlikely event that he does, then who should I put my trust in - God or Mammon/pre-nup agreement?

Paulie079 said:

Same. It'd be my way of saying that divorce isn't an option for me. If she wanted one, it would cause me to question her outlook on lifetime marital commitment. I can completely understand someone seeing the wisdom in wanting to protect their assets, but I just don't plan on even leaving the door cracked open for divorce, and that's something that a woman would have to agree with me on before we get married.

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You don't. But you literally cannot guarantee that the woman you marry feels the same, or will continue to feel the same in a couple years. That's what a prenup protects you from. Accidents happen, people change, people lie, people don't communicate with each other. People are crazy. You may think you know somebody after two years of dating them, but you probably don't. You're only beginning to know them.

In other words, two people agreeing that marriage is forever and divorce isn't an option doesn't always prevent the things that a prenup would protect you from.

You shouldn't get a pre-nup agreement if she is a virgin. She trusts you and you trust her.

ErminlindaRika said:

Actually I'm not sure whether to agree with it or to disagree with it. As an aside, I don't like divorce at all.

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I don't think anybody really likes divorce, except for divorce lawyers.

MartMX said:

You shouldn't get a pre-nup agreement if she is a virgin. She trusts you and you trust her.

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solid reasoning, right there.

Moonshiner said:

Guys can contribute too but I'm particularly interested in what women think about PreNups especially as Christian women.

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I can certainly understand why someone with great wealth would want to insure it is safeguarded from those who have ulterior motives to acquiring any or all of it through various means.

With regard to marriage and those assets, I see prenup's as almost a double edged sword. On one hand they can indicate lack of trust in the motives and/or intentions of a potential spouse.

On the other hand it can reiterate that potential spouse is not at all materialist, when it's they who suggest the prenup to one who has more assets than themselves, and thus imply in that suggestion that they are there for love of the person and not their wealth.

On the grand scale of the whole matter prenups appear to me to be insurance that looks toward a future where divorce is a possibility.

I think if someone imagines that's even possible they may want to reconsider their choice of mate, if they themselves believe there is enough there in that other person that would one day warrant a divorce on their own behalf. Or, that that potential mate could in some way be motivated to file in their own right.

I'd then suggest perhaps giving the marriage ceremony itself more time before entering into what is, if one is a Christian, a life long commitment that is only able to be broken through death.

Because otherwise, a prenup projects asset division upon divorce. And if one thinks of their spouse or even their own nature as someone or something that could seek divorce, then what's the point of getting married?

MartMX said:

You shouldn't get a pre-nup agreement if she is a virgin. She trusts you and you trust her.

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Awesome first post man.

Really.

I guess I should say that if I ever plan on marrying I don't plan on making it state official anyway, so I guess my response to this thread is sort of moot.

Even more so considering the fact that the possibility of my ever actually getting married is pretty much academic.

MacFall said:

I guess I should say that if I ever plan on marrying I don't plan on making it state official anyway, so I guess my response to this thread is sort of moot.

Even more so considering the fact that the possibility of my ever actually getting married is pretty much academic.

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How would you do that?

Find a pastor who would marry us without a license. If it was good enough for George and Martha Washington it's good enough for me.

I think you'd be hard pressed to enjoy the lawful benefits afforded in having that license. One's that old George and Martha never imagined were enjoyed because the license was not at that time requisite.

That's why divorce today is a pain. It's that what rescinds the contract of marriage or breaches the agreement between State and applicants.

PetLuv said:

Awesome first post man.

Really.

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Yeah, I couldn't help but laugh at that one.

I know many couples who have found their unions strengthened by the lack of a legally supported exit. So I'm not too interested in "lawful benefits". In fact I intend to keep the state as far away from the affairs of my family as possible. God, not Caesar, will govern my house.