Trouble with my parents...

Ashleigh21

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Hi. My name is Ashleigh. I am 14 and home-schooled. The truth is I have always grown up with a lot of military friends, since our church used to be within walking distance of Ft. Jackson. I have always loved America, but I never dreamed that I would be in this position. But the truth is that until a little over a month ago, I had assumed my mom's idea that women didn't belong in the military. What I didn't count on was that in my questioning and changing what I thought, God was simply softening my heart for what He was about to show me. I was sitting in a christian conference on October 12th when God showed me what He wanted me to do. That is when He showed me this about the army, and West Point. It wasn't what I had planned or wanted. I wanted to be a Nascar driver, go to USC, major in political science and journalism, go to law school, and run for office. But now that I KNOW what God wants for me I am much more settled, confident, and overall happy. However I have one HUGE problem. As I said, my mom doesn't approve of women in the military. So I haven't told her, and I am very worried about explaining this to her. Just when I was almost ready, she decided to give another speech to me about why women shouldn't be in the military. Now I am more troubled than ever about explaining this to her. Can anyone help?
God Bless,
Ashleigh
 

Ashleigh21

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I just wish I knew how to tell my mom. The truth is, I am not worried about what to do, I know that the only way I will be safe is to be in His will. I just want to know when and how to tell her. For West Point, I will probably have to start getting things ready by the start of my junior year, so I only have about two years. I know this sounds like a while, but when this is going to tie me up for 12 years...Btw, I know by thing says I am baptist, but we are charismatic, formerly going to a non-denominational church that we went to all my life until this summer (it is now 40 minutes away, it moved) that my dad used to be on staff at before he had a stroke, and now we are going to a baptist church. Just to clarify.
 
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saskcanada4christ

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I know things are hard to focuses certain thing with family members because you dont want to disipoint people believe me. I'm 25 yrs old and still have trouble taking to my dad . The thing i learnt was to just to tell them as soon as possible, sure they maybe mad at first but overtime they will get over it. The military is a great honor so I would keep the dream alive and not give up hope.
 
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Ashleigh21

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Thanks so much. I don't think I will have too much trouble with my dad, but he had a stroke, so I can't really talk to him right now. I am just really worried about how my mom will react. I was almost ready to tell my mom and then she brought that up about women in the military (I was hoping maybe she hadn't come on as strong as I remembered), so I casually brought it up. Another thing I am worried about is that I just told my mom that a good friend of mine is going for ROTC in college, then the military, and I am concerned she will think I just started thinking about it because of him. But we hadn't even talked about it when I made this decision. I guess I could show her my journal, but there is no proof there either. I have also gone back and forth on what I want for so long that I am concerned she won't take me seriously. She made a crack about where have God and I decided I am going to college this time, when I said I was praying about college, and when pressed, that I thought I knew and I told her why, but that I just wanted some more time first. So it just keeps getting harder. Maybe I should tell her tomorrow before I make it harder by thinking of something else good. But on the other hand I have been thinking I should wait until it has been at least six months so that she will know that I am sticking by it. But it is getting hard already. Today she caught me humming The Army Goes Rolling Along, and every time we watch Gomer Pyle I go into an extremely detailed rant (including plenty of things that I shouldn't know) about why it is so unrealistic. I keep popping out with information, sometimes in hopes that she will notice, but when she comments, I back out. The other day I told her that the information I knew so much about came from my history book. Then I couldn't tell her which one, but I knew the stuff SO well, and was able to go look it up. I told her just one of my school ones. I have to do something soon, I know that.

God Bless,
Ashleigh

God Bless
 
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Ashleigh21

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I definitely am going to do what God tells me too. I just need help trying to figure out how to tell my parents. Also, it looks like I am going to try to get into West Point, so I will have to have everything lined up by my junior year. I am concerned that when I tell my mom she will think that this is only because of a friend of mine saying the same thing, and I really feel like I need to get into jrotc first.God Bless,Ashleigh
 
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Ashleigh21

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keith99,I am going to begin by working really hard on school so that I will have the grades necessary to get in. (1800 SAT, 4.0 GPA.) I am also going to take the hard courses. I have good references, the newest coming from a recently elected state senator who I got to know through 114 hours of work in 3 weeks. I will continue to add to the references through a lot of volunteer work. With the political work I do, I should be able to get a recommendation from either one of our U.S. Senators or our U.S. Representative. I am planning on jrotc next year, if I can get my mom to let me (once I tell her), I am sure that will look good on the admissions papers. And above all, I believe this is God's will for my life, and that He told me that this is where He wants me, so I will do what I can, and trust Him with the rest.God Bless You,Ashleigh
 
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keith99

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keith99,I am going to begin by working really hard on school so that I will have the grades necessary to get in. (1800 SAT, 4.0 GPA.) I am also going to take the hard courses. I have good references, the newest coming from a recently elected state senator who I got to know through 114 hours of work in 3 weeks. I will continue to add to the references through a lot of volunteer work. With the political work I do, I should be able to get a recommendation from either one of our U.S. Senators or our U.S. Representative. I am planning on jrotc next year, if I can get my mom to let me (once I tell her), I am sure that will look good on the admissions papers. And above all, I believe this is God's will for my life, and that He told me that this is where He wants me, so I will do what I can, and trust Him with the rest.God Bless You,Ashleigh

I have not kept up on the SAT that much. But if I recall correctly it is now 3 parts of 800 points. 1800 is not that high, you need to aim higher.

Historically it seems that at least Anapolis cared more about class rank that GPA. I think there the military realized early on the trend of grade inflation. Also how is the GPA you are talking about calculated? 4.0 is much more impressive when it really is out a a max of 4. These days a lot give an extra point for any AP or honors class. 4.0 is less impressive under that calculation.

Taking the hard courses is a very good step. If you must choose which hard classes go for math first and then either Chemistry and Physics or History/civics.

Sounds like you are NOT one of the unfocused dreamers.

You might want to READ Starship troopers. It is totally unlike the film and Robert Heinlein was a midshipman.

I'll add that I did check and the citation at the end regarding Rodger Young is accurate, what I would expect from Heinlein.

Oh and one thing useful for you, in hte book Johnny Rico goes ot OCS and several paoints of military history are mentioned. You might profit by looking them up. Just what is mentioned is informative, but if you plan on a military career these might be a good starting point for learning a bit of military history that is not standard fare.

I'll close with:

To the everlasting glory of the infantry, shines the name, shines the name Rodger Young.
 
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Ashleigh21

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I think it is fairly high, higher than most people get anyway, I mean the college I wanted to required a 1300, and I got more than that in 7th grade. So it isn't low. But I am going for as high as I possibly can. I am spending more time on school than I ever wanted too before, and I am actually enjoying it, to some degree.

On the chart I have 4.0 is the highest, but they explained it differently. I know honors effects it somehow, which is good because I am taking honors in EVERYTHING. I will have to see if my mom knows, and if not she can talk to the home school counselor.

I am not sure I understand what you are saying. I took physical science in 8th grade, so right now I am taking Algebra 1, German 1, American Government, Geography, Literature/Grammar/Vocabulary, and then my electives are drama and music. I have a choice for my 12th grade math, and although before I felt the Lord leading me in this direction, I was planning on going easy, now I am planning on taking pre-calculus. I am hoping that I can take some courses in the summer so that I can take the more advanced classes after I finish the basics. Any suggestions on electives that would be good for this? I can't really do anything this year, but next year, or maybe even next semester I can pick something up.

I never really have been. But always, before, I had tried to work God into what I wanted, but when He showed me this, I began to realize that the advanced school work, the volunteer hours, and all of the long work outs that I thought would make me a professional athlete/politician, work very well for this. God's master plan...

Okay, thanks so much. I will probably finish the books I have out that are more basic information first, but I will look that up as soon as possible. I am very involved at church, and I am doing volunteer work at the library, and plenty of stuff for school, so I don't have near enough time to read.

I am thinking that when the info from West Point comes I will show it to my mom and then use it to explain to her why I want this. She is really glad that I am hearing from God, even if I won't tell her what about, so that should help soften things a bit, also.

God Bless You,
Ashleigh
 
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keith99

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For an honors student taking pre-calc in 12th grade IS takin it easy.

What is available has soared since I was in High School, but even 40 plus years ago there was one 11th grader in my Calculus class.

I work with people who are 10-15 years older than you who took 10 plus classes in High School that counted for college credit.

Again 40 plus years ago the majority in my intro calculus class in college had already taken calculus in High school.

West Point is not Ivy League, but it comes close and people with multiple AP classes is who you will be competing against.
 
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Ashleigh21

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My mom has already said I am going to have to take trigonometry and pre-calculus. I am looking at taking some stuff during the summer so that I can get it all in. The recommended curriculum for high school is, 2 lab sciences (3 is required for my home school organization), US Government (I am taking it this year), US History, Geography (I am taking it this year), Economics, Algebra 1, Geometry, Algebra 2, Pre-Calculus, Trigonometry, and a heavy base in grammar, composition, and speech. Most of those are required for me except for pre-calculus and trigonometry, so one of those will probably be a summer class.
I see.
My mom says honors is harder than AP, is that true?
I told my mom last night, but she doesn't realize that you HAVE to go into the Army afterwards. She was half asleep when she asked me about tuition, so I told her I would explain today. She asked if you had to go into the army afterwards, but I gave her the same answer. So I still have to tell her that. The youth leader's wife told me I needed to tell her before someone else saw my stuff and did. I also told my dad, and he didn't seem to react much at all.

God Bless,
Ashleigh
 
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keith99

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AP classes will get you college credit, Honors will not. I'd hazzard that AP classes are at least more advanced.

I do not doubt that there are some teachers who go out of their way to make honors classes hard.

BTW hard is an interesting thing. When I was in college in one way non-majors calculus was harder then majors. Non-majors expected people to memorize most of the huge table of integrations at the back of the text. Majors expected you to understand the processes involved.

That meant non-majors were expected to do any of the integrations covered faster, majors were expected to be able to do things not covered, that could be solved by the techniques learned. So a lot of majors taking a non-majors test might not do great as they would run short of time. I would have done well in either, I was lightening fast. (Seriously, my second or third calculus exam had 5 questions and we could do any 4 and the 5th for extra credit, the Prof doubted any would have the time. I did all 5 with over 15 minutes of the hour left).

Do they still have the achievement tests (perhaps name changed) to go along with the SAT? If so be careful with math. They at least used to have a MAth level 1 and Math level 2. The math level 1 was easy questions, but lots of them. Level 2 covered more difficult concepts, but not quite the time preasure. If you take it make sure you take the right one.

That you have already taken the SATs is good. It is especially a concern for the home schooled as the testing environemnt might otherwise be foreign to you.

My understanding of the Military Academies is that there is no tuition and that the commitment starts at the start of your Junior year. You might want to confirm that.

Also on the sales level, aiming for admission is not a bad thing even if you end up elsewhere. You are not cutting off any options as far as I can see. So you might be able to use that as a selling point with your mother.

Oh one other consideration. From all I have seen being able to function when sleep deprived is a trait you will need to succeed at West Point. If you cannot then you may want to reconsider.
 
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Ashleigh21

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That is what I told my mom, but she is sure that AP is just college prep. Yeah, my mom and the home school organization. Now that my mom knows, everything she tells me she says it is hard, but it will get you ready for military school, or you need to learn to do as you are told, for military school.I was like that on the standardized testing last year. It is easy when it is multiple choice. I was only using half the time, at the most.Well, there is the standardized testing that starts in 3rd grade (4th for me), and that is how I ended up with 97& right, and I took the SAT in 7th grade.I think that is correct, I have been reading every chance I get. I just haven't had the nerve, or the heart to tell my mom. She thinks that God just told me go to West Point, she thinks I can just go, with no commitment. Then she started on how she doesn't think the military is safe.Yeah, but the way I told it to her, by the time the conversation was over, she thought it was her idea! I just need to get into jrotc next year, and I have no idea how to tell her that. That will give the whole army part of it away. She asked me about other military academies last night, so I told her, then she asked if there was an army academy! So, I am just trying to survive Algebra 1, which is going really bad right now. I guess I will try to get her on the topic again tonight, and then tell her about the military commitment.God Bless,Ashleigh
 
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FreeSpirit74

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It's not up to your mother what you do with your life. Also, FWIW, I know three women who are in the military. Two if them graduated HS with me back in 1993; one of them went into the Marine Corps. right after graduation and is a Drill Sargeant. Thr other woman is in the Air Force, working as a Management and Program Analyst for the Air National Guard. My upstairs neighbor's girlfriend is a cadet at West Point.

Your mother also needs to understand that not everybody who goes into the service gets sent into combat. My father served in the Army back in the 1960's, when the Vietnam War was starting to escalate. IIRC he did his Basic Training at Ft. Jackson. He served stateside, in Intelligence. He was one of the people receiving information sent from overseas in code; his job was to decode it and pass it along to the PTB (I also know someone who was on the other end of that operation, he served in the USAF Security Service stationed in Okinawa, '60-'62). When he was discharged, he CO told him "just so you know, we would never send you overseas." Why? Because he would have been a security risk.
 
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Ashleigh21

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I understand that, and I will do what God tells me, but the Bible also says that "to honor your father and mother, and all will go well with you" and I don't want to go against that. Besides, if it says that about if all will go well with you, doesn't that mean if you don't it probably won't.

That is really neat. I don't know if you have read the rest of the stuff I have written as replies to comments, but I did tell her about wanting to go to West Point, but I have been avoiding questions about tuition and military commitment. I will tell her soon, but I have been letting her read and watch stuff about it. And she told someone yesterday that I wanted to go to West Point and they asked her if I have a death wish. So if she keeps talking about it, which seems pretty likely, somebody is going to say something soon.

I understand that. I will be honest though, I am not against the idea. I wouldn't just ask to go into combat, but I am not fighting it either. The way I see it, if I am in God's will, He's going to keep me safe.

If you haven't already you should take a look at the rest of this page. I have shared some more stuff about the whole issue, and I will continue to do so. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.

God Bless You,
Ashleigh
 
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FreeSpirit74

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I understand that, and I will do what God tells me, but the Bible also says that "to honor your father and mother, and all will go well with you" and I don't want to go against that. Besides, if it says that about if all will go well with you, doesn't that mean if you don't it probably won't.

I'll offer up this little tidbit concerning my own family. My father wanted my oldest brother to go into engineering, like he did. My brother chose to go into environmental science and forestry. He was accepted to both Cornell and Syracuse Univeristy ON SCHOLARSHIP - he chose SU because he thought Cornell had the campus but SU had the program. He earned a B.S. and an M.S. from SU's College of Environmental Science and Forestry. When he finished his Master's thesis, my father couldn't be more proud - he brought it to work and to the meetings for the Boy Scout troop for which he is Assistant Scoutmaster. Any excuse to show it off (my father only got as far as a B.S. at Union College back in 1975 and never went for his own Master's even though he graduated Summa cum Laude from Union while working 40-hour weeks for G.E.).

My brother has been with the NYS Department of Environmental Conservation since 1997, and he has worked his way up to holding not one, but TWO supervisory positions - he is currently the Regional Forester for DEC's Region 5, which covers most of Northern NY, and the Adirondack Park. He is also a union steward, as the DEC is a state agency and therefore is part of civil service. he is working and living in the part of the state where he wants to live and work more than any other, just outside of Lake Placid.

My point with all that? Simple... sometimes when you step out and do what it is that YOU want to do, even when your parents disagree with it, things do work out in your favor. My brother would have been miserable working as an engineer, and the smartest thing my father did was to eventually get out of the way and let my brother follow his dream.
 
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