I was born in a family where my Mom was (and is) a Christian, and my Dad wasn't and isn't, though he now attends church. Aside from my Mom taking us to church, I didn't really care or think of God at all before I finished high school.
At home my parents often fought, and I was bullied a lot in junior high school, grades 7 to 9 in particular were a very difficult 3 years. At school I was mocked and beat up, and at home my Dad would never lay a hand on us but would often yell at us, put us down, give the "silent treatment"- my Mom got it worse than any of us did. I remember being afraid of holidays like Christmas and Easter, because during special occasions were often times when my Dad would get moody and lash out and we would spend the event in silence and often later in tears. I still get tense during these times of the year. The stuff happening at home has been happening since I was 6, but at least at school I was safe, until jr high. I thought of suicide very seriously many times, and was self-harming myself. I wanted to kill the bullies who were making my life hell in school and then to kill myself. I found a friend who was also being picked on, and we began fantasizing about killing people. We were both in army cadets and knew how to use guns, though at the time didn't have access to them.
I didn't know or care who God was, but I knew Something was holding me back from killing myself or killing others, or at least trying.
In high school, the bullying stopped, and things at home improved a little bit. I had made quite a few friends, and wasn't excluded like I was before. I began to empathize for people who were victims of injustice, before my experience in junior high school I was a bit of a snob who believed I was better than other people because of my higher grades. I used to have some friends and would laugh at those who were left out by everyone. Being used a punching bag and an object of humiliation for three years helped change my views about many things. I remembered that the people I hated most then were not the bullies but those who just stood and watched and did nothing.
I thought politics was the answer. I was under the impression that communism was the answer. I believed in this for several years, but knew I was missing something in my life. I once came across a tract about Jesus and how He died for us on the cross, so by believing in Him we could be saved. I threw it away and didn't think much of it.
In grade twelve, a friend of mine committed suicide. It was a horrific event, I remember feeling shocked and saddened after it was announced by our music teacher during a practice we had for an upcoming concert. I fell to my knees and this may sound strange, but I cried out to God to help. I had no idea who God was then, but I knew I needed Him. We went to his funeral, and the priest talked about God, and how He came down in the form of His Son Jesus Christ to give His life for us. I decided I wanted to follow a God like that, a God who is not only powerful but also loves His creation so much that He would be willing to experience pain and death for them. I put my faith in Christ.
I began to read the Bible, and learned about a God who is not only our Creator and Saviour and Judge, but who loves the poor and oppressed and tells His followers that what they do to them they do to Him directly. God has supported me and allowed me to serve Him in working with inner city kids where I live, and in my volunteering with human rights activist groups in the West Bank and Arizona. I was badly beat up in Hebron with metal pipes by 3 settlers two summers ago, and He helped me to forgive them and to be a witness to the Palestinian Muslims who came to see me at the hospital. He has blessed me with an amazing wife and an awesome marriage.
I am still learning a lot in my faith, and have fallen many times. I have struggled for many years before and after becoming a Christian with the temptation of inappropriate contentography... due to God's grace and mercy I have now been clean from it completely for over 6 months and am hoping He will help me resist it and not fall for it ever again forever. I have at times been arrogant towards other people and have not always exhibited the love that God has shown me towards others. I have at times neglected my Biblical duty to stand up for justice and to be a good neighbour and friend to people who live in poverty. I need to pray and read my Bible more. Things at home (with my parents) are still rough, and I still struggle at times with depression and have at times self-harmed and there were times when I tried committing suicide in the past.
I am messed up and a sinner who is in need of God's grace and mercy everyday. I am glad though that He shed His blood for me on the cross and led me to be able to call myself one of His children. I pray He blesses you also and leads you to Him.
Thanks for reading. God bless.
At home my parents often fought, and I was bullied a lot in junior high school, grades 7 to 9 in particular were a very difficult 3 years. At school I was mocked and beat up, and at home my Dad would never lay a hand on us but would often yell at us, put us down, give the "silent treatment"- my Mom got it worse than any of us did. I remember being afraid of holidays like Christmas and Easter, because during special occasions were often times when my Dad would get moody and lash out and we would spend the event in silence and often later in tears. I still get tense during these times of the year. The stuff happening at home has been happening since I was 6, but at least at school I was safe, until jr high. I thought of suicide very seriously many times, and was self-harming myself. I wanted to kill the bullies who were making my life hell in school and then to kill myself. I found a friend who was also being picked on, and we began fantasizing about killing people. We were both in army cadets and knew how to use guns, though at the time didn't have access to them.
I didn't know or care who God was, but I knew Something was holding me back from killing myself or killing others, or at least trying.
In high school, the bullying stopped, and things at home improved a little bit. I had made quite a few friends, and wasn't excluded like I was before. I began to empathize for people who were victims of injustice, before my experience in junior high school I was a bit of a snob who believed I was better than other people because of my higher grades. I used to have some friends and would laugh at those who were left out by everyone. Being used a punching bag and an object of humiliation for three years helped change my views about many things. I remembered that the people I hated most then were not the bullies but those who just stood and watched and did nothing.
I thought politics was the answer. I was under the impression that communism was the answer. I believed in this for several years, but knew I was missing something in my life. I once came across a tract about Jesus and how He died for us on the cross, so by believing in Him we could be saved. I threw it away and didn't think much of it.
In grade twelve, a friend of mine committed suicide. It was a horrific event, I remember feeling shocked and saddened after it was announced by our music teacher during a practice we had for an upcoming concert. I fell to my knees and this may sound strange, but I cried out to God to help. I had no idea who God was then, but I knew I needed Him. We went to his funeral, and the priest talked about God, and how He came down in the form of His Son Jesus Christ to give His life for us. I decided I wanted to follow a God like that, a God who is not only powerful but also loves His creation so much that He would be willing to experience pain and death for them. I put my faith in Christ.
I began to read the Bible, and learned about a God who is not only our Creator and Saviour and Judge, but who loves the poor and oppressed and tells His followers that what they do to them they do to Him directly. God has supported me and allowed me to serve Him in working with inner city kids where I live, and in my volunteering with human rights activist groups in the West Bank and Arizona. I was badly beat up in Hebron with metal pipes by 3 settlers two summers ago, and He helped me to forgive them and to be a witness to the Palestinian Muslims who came to see me at the hospital. He has blessed me with an amazing wife and an awesome marriage.
I am still learning a lot in my faith, and have fallen many times. I have struggled for many years before and after becoming a Christian with the temptation of inappropriate contentography... due to God's grace and mercy I have now been clean from it completely for over 6 months and am hoping He will help me resist it and not fall for it ever again forever. I have at times been arrogant towards other people and have not always exhibited the love that God has shown me towards others. I have at times neglected my Biblical duty to stand up for justice and to be a good neighbour and friend to people who live in poverty. I need to pray and read my Bible more. Things at home (with my parents) are still rough, and I still struggle at times with depression and have at times self-harmed and there were times when I tried committing suicide in the past.
I am messed up and a sinner who is in need of God's grace and mercy everyday. I am glad though that He shed His blood for me on the cross and led me to be able to call myself one of His children. I pray He blesses you also and leads you to Him.
Thanks for reading. God bless.
