Friend issue

Aijalon

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I wouldn't want to leave my wife out of my friendship with anyone if my wife doesn't like someone or they don't like her I can't be friends with them. If someone wants to hang out with me other then my best friend my wife is going to be included.

There is something odd about this. I don't want to be critical, I support a strong and united family front. But when it comes to men and women, I don't believe that in all circumstances the friendships must be mutual. This is a personal thing with you and your wife. It could be, just wondering, that your wife takes offense much more easily than you do. So in order to not offend her indirectly you will not associate with anyone that she does not approve of.

It sounds to me like this might be a way in which your wife controls you unnecessarily without either of you realizing it. Each of you needs to be indepent enough and trustful enough of each other to hang out in groups or be friends with people of the same sex without the other one of you controling who it is. Now I'm not talking about good friends or mutual friends, but acquaintances that are somewhere in the middle.

If you feel that you are wisely protecting your wife from some hurt or pain by letting her likes and dislikes dictate how you make new friends, then that is your call, you know her and you got to do what you got to do.

hope this makes sense.
 
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Alive_Again

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I'd like to present some scriptures to you about our sanctification and holiness that the Lord has called us to. We are sanctified by Him, but as covenant partners, we also sanctify ourselves to Him. We're not of the world anymore and the choices we make should reflect this.

Sanctify - To set apart to a sacred purpose. (There is no dictionary in the Bible, but we can get a good idea of the meaning of this word in the manner of its use in the Word.

“And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Sanctify unto Me all the firstborn, whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast: it is Mine .”
Ex 13:1-2

“To the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in Heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect, And to Jesus the mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things than that of Abel.”
Heb 12:23-24

This is who we now are. We're all "firstborn sons" in the Kingdom of God.

“But know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for Himself:”
Psalms 4:2-3

There are 2 kingdoms, and we truly moved from one to the other.

“Delivering thee from the people, and from the Gentiles, unto whom now I send thee, To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in Me.”
Acts 26:17-18

“Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy: for I am the LORD your God. And ye shall keep My statutes, and do them: I am the LORD which sanctify you.”
Lev 20:7-8

Of course keeping His "statues" to us means walking in agape love.

“If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.”
Col 3:1-3

This is what the world cannot do. In fact, the world becomes either hardened or convicted by its exposure to the things of God. We are hear in the this world as "dead" and risen now to the things of God.

“Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?”
James 4:4-5

There is a spirit in the world and it tries to get the Body of Christ to "buddy up" to it to render it ineffective. God is jealous for us and He loves us incredibly.

"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever."
1 John 2:15-17

This is the main pursuit of those who are "of the world". They can't help it, because they are not born again and do not the God's nature abiding in their spirit.

"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world."
James 1:27

Our time in the world should be careful because we can become spotted in the eyes of the Lord.

"This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness."
Eph 4:17-19

This is why light and darkness cannot really have true fellowship.

"An unjust man is an abomination to the just: and he that is upright in the way is abomination to the wicked."
Prov 29:27

If you're living right, we'll be unsavory to the wicked. If someone is open and being dealt with by God, they'll find us salty. It is easy to see in time where they are. In our jobs and certain places we will interact with those in and of the world. If we lose our saltiness, we'll be trampled on.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?
2 Cor 6:14

"For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be."
Romans 8:5-7

It is absolutely impossible for the world, who walk carnally to be subject to God's ways. We should make wise choices on who we spend our time with. We can pray for our unsaved "friends", because they need that. In fact, God wants us to pray for everyone in the sphere of our life, but not to partake of other men's sins.
 
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Alive_Again

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The world is in bondage to the ways of evil spirits and we're snared by the words of our mouths as we permit and come into agreement with these very beings and their ways.

"Take heed to thyself, lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land whither thou goest, lest it be for a snare in the midst of thee: But ye shall destroy their altars, break their images, and cut down their groves: For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:”
Ex 34:12-14

That was an Old Testament example of something that goes on even today. If we see the spiritual side of the conflict, not just nations in other times, we understand that the kingdom of darkness is sown into the world to become traps for the unwary.

“Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be My sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty."
2 Cor 6:17-18

"Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men. Avoid it, pass not by it, turn from it, and pass away.”
Prov 4:14-15

Solomon, the wisest born of men.

"Thorns and snares are in the way of the froward: he that doth keep his soul shall be far from them."
Prov 22:5

"Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth? This persuasion cometh not of Him that calleth you. A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump."
Gal 5:7-9

The voices we listen to become the "leaven" we partake of.

"Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. Awake to righteousness, and sin not;"
1 Cor 15:33-34

"He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed."
Prov 13:20

"Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them. For their heart studieth destruction, and their lips talk of mischief."
Prov 24:1-2

"The curse of the Lord is in the house of the wicked:"
Prov 3:33

Feel different inside an unsaved person's house? The blessing is not there.

“But He, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falleth.”
Luke 11:17

“Consecrate yourselves to day to the LORD, even every man upon his son, and upon his brother; that He may bestow upon you a blessing this day.”
Ex 32:29

“I have manifested Thy name unto the men which Thou gavest Me out of the world: Thine they were, and Thou gavest them Me; and they have kept Thy Word. Now they have known that all things whatsoever Thou hast given Me are of Thee. For I have given unto them the Words which Thou gavest Me; and they have received them, and have known surely that I came out from Thee, and they have believed that Thou didst send Me.”
John 17:6-8

Holy - Exalted or worthy of complete devotion.
Holiness - Devoted entirely to or to the work of God.)

”And ye shall be holy unto Me: for I the LORD am holy, and have severed you from other people, that ye should be Mine.”
Lev 20:26

“For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto Himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth.”
Deut 14:2

”According as He hath chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, To the praise of the glory of His grace, wherein He hath made us accepted in the beloved.”
Eph 1:4-6

”Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,”
2 Tim 1:9

"And an highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called The way of holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it; but it shall be for those: the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein. No lion shall be there, nor any ravenous beast shall go up thereon, it shall not be found there; but the redeemed shall walk there: And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.”
Isaiah 35:8-10

”As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as He which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”
1 Peter 1:14-16

“Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God;”
Heb 12:14-15

”And that ye may put difference between holy and unholy, and between unclean and clean;
And that ye may teach the children of Israel all the statutes which the LORD hath spoken unto them by the hand of Moses.”
Lev 10:10-11

There are many more scriptures about holiness and it's a wonderful study and we'd be well advised to take heed so that our lives stay blessed. We want to partake of the favor of God that only He can provide. Also, that our marriages will stay strong in Him.
 
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Avniel

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Love is not easily provoked. We are not to receive offense. We are not to walk carnally and our minds should be as the mind of Christ.

I don't think asking someone a simple question means your provoking. I think that's the problem we have this attitude that correction is aggressive and it is not.
 
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Avniel

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There is something odd about this. I don't want to be critical, I support a strong and united family front. But when it comes to men and women, I don't believe that in all circumstances the friendships must be mutual. This is a personal thing with you and your wife. It could be, just wondering, that your wife takes offense much more easily than you do. So in order to not offend her indirectly you will not associate with anyone that she does not approve of.

It sounds to me like this might be a way in which your wife controls you unnecessarily without either of you realizing it. Each of you needs to be indepent enough and trustful enough of each other to hang out in groups or be friends with people of the same sex without the other one of you controling who it is. Now I'm not talking about good friends or mutual friends, but acquaintances that are somewhere in the middle.

If you feel that you are wisely protecting your wife from some hurt or pain by letting her likes and dislikes dictate how you make new friends, then that is your call, you know her and you got to do what you got to do.

hope this makes sense.
Naw you have to know my wife. She's the type of person that can tell someone off and be nice to them dislike someone but still treat them friendly. She doesn't like cutting people off but I'm the type of person that does..

I have been robbed at gun point by someone I knew. The person that warned me was my wife. I see good in everyone and try to help people this at times brings me around people I shouldn't be around. If my wife doesn't like one of my friends it's because of how they interact with me. Like the saying "your so well spoken to be black" makes my wife upset, the way he asks me if he can come over then asks for a ride somewhere makes her think like he's a user.

When I say if my wife can't be apart of a friendship because she doesn't like you or you don't like her it's because I value her wisdom. And if you don't like my wife I just devalue that persons wisdom so much I won't be around.

At the end of the day I have family friends. Like I said a lot of my friends sell drugs or have some are gang members. We have a history together some of them make my wife uncomfortable but there are few people she doesn't like. This new friend just happens to be one of them.

Also I want the type of friends I can come over there house or they can come over mine. I want our families to become friends our kids like cousins. If that is not how it's going to be then I really don't want to be your friend.

Other then my best friend who I see twice a week. I really don't want the company I really don't want anymore friends and the few I have I've known since 3 and we are more like family and they all come to my house. If I have a choice of hanging out with my friends or hanging out with my wife I'm picking my wife because I have more fun around her and she's pretty lol.

But you see what I'm saying
 
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Alive_Again

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Love is not easily provoked. We are not to receive offense. We are not to walk carnally and our minds should be as the mind of Christ.

I don't think asking someone a simple question means your provoking. I think that's the problem we have this attitude that correction is aggressive and it is not.

I'm not talking about being agressive. In fact the scriptures I gave earlier show correction in a spirit of love, where we we exhort one another to the higher ways of God. The whole "moron" thing/What did you say? things betrays offense.

Although their is nothing wrong with enjoying our own culture, as citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven we're not to be easily offended. We're also not Jew or Greek. We're sons and daughters of God, who are merciful and not quick to be offended. We also don't call people morons. In fact, those in darkness are going to express things that don't agree with agape love, so it should almost be expected that people will say the wrong thing.

Firstly, about his comment you are more white than black... The Lord has revealed to me unknown prejudice and I in the past would make comments like that and my friends too would laugh so this kinda cut me to the quick. If you hear those words again I want you to NOT LAUGH... say "WHAT did you just say to me?" or Why would you say something so very racist to me, your loyal friend. He's a moron just like I was, problem with being a moron is more likely than not one is oblivious.
 
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briareos

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Not being easily offended and loving is not the same thing as inviting conflict and troubles into your life, neither is it the same as allowing people to take advantage of you and insult you and cause you problems and cause problems for your family members.

This friend is incredibly inconsiderate of you, him being your friend means you have the right and reason to tell him exactly how you feel... if he does not care and will not listen then is not your friend, this isn't simply that you are abandoning him... if he will not listen to you and try his very best to change these things then he is not your friend, he is not your friend, he does not love you, he does not like you, he is not your friend.

You can love him, pray for him, respect him, be kind to him... that doesn't mean you have a friendship with him, much less invite him over to your home to spend time with you and your wife.
 
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briareos

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You said he is a person you can't give advice to.

Now I know you aren't in a relationship with this man but this sort of thing is a huge red flag when it happens in relationships, this is a huge sign of emotional abuse between lovers, marriage partners, boyfriends girlfriends... when one side can say whatever they want and you are not allowed to have any say back and you are not allowed to advise them... that's a really big problem. In a marriage that's emotional abuse.

I only say all that to say this in general is a very bad thing, he's not your friend.

If there is some reason why you feel like you can't just tell this guy to leave and stop or change right now... then this may be some form of an abusive relationship.
 
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Avniel

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Love is not easily provoked. We are not to receive offense. We are not to walk carnally and our minds should be as the mind of Christ.



I'm not talking about being agressive. In fact the scriptures I gave earlier show correction in a spirit of love, where we we exhort one another to the higher ways of God. The whole "moron" thing/What did you say? things betrays offense.

Although their is nothing wrong with enjoying our own culture, as citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven we're not to be easily offended. We're also not Jew or Greek. We're sons and daughters of God, who are merciful and not quick to be offended. We also don't call people morons. In fact, those in darkness are going to express things that don't agree with agape love, so it should almost be expected that people will say the wrong thing.

The bible says be ye angry but sin ur not.

Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife, for he had married a Cushite. "Has the Lord spoken only through Moses?" they asked. "Hasn't he also spoken through us?" And the Lord heard this. (Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.) At once the Lord said to Moses, Aaron and Miriam, "Come out to the tent of meeting, all three of you." So the three of them went out. Then the Lord came down in a pillar of cloud; he stood at the entrance to the tent and summoned Aaron and Miriam. When the two of them stepped forward, he said, "Listen to my words:
"When there is a prophet among you,
I, the Lord, reveal myself to them in visions,
I speak to them in dreams. But this is not true of my servant Moses;
he is faithful in all my house. With him I speak face to face,
clearly and not in riddles;
he sees the form of the Lord.
Why then were you not afraid
to speak against my servant Moses?" The anger of the Lord burned against them, and he left them. (Numbers 12:1-9 NIV)
The bible is clear if racism is not an issue where one can become angered then why then did God get angry are you suggesting that God was quick to anger? Or is your opinion that He was unjust.

The word of God is about order. There is a time to become angered and there is a time not to we look back at scriptures to inform us of which is which. We can't rely on our own understanding. The bible is clear issues of racism are reasons to become angry.

And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death. And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me. (Luke 22:31-34 KJV)

Jesus had a friend named Peter who would sin against the son of God. Did Jesus cast him away or did Jesus pray for him because He knew the devil wanted him. Did Peter corrupt Jesus? No Jesus prayed for this sinner and those prayers saved peter's life. I disagree with you I think our purpose is to be friends with others.

And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen. (Matthew 28:18-20 KJV)

The bible teaches us that we are to spread the gospel. We have to go out to other nations and spread this. The only way to do this is by communication. I do not believe the scripture evil communication was speaking of talking to evil(non believers) but rather evil conversation. Evil communication corrupts not communicating with evil people. The bible teaches that our bodies are the temple and who lives in my temple is greater then who lives in the world. I'm not worried about communicating with evil people because that's where my works are.

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. (1 Peter 3:15-17 KJV)

Just as support and remember Jesus sat and ate with the man that betrayed Him and turned his back. He prayed for him we as believers need to use this as an example.

Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth. And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know. But if any man love God, the same is known of him. As concerning therefore the eating of those things that are offered in sacrifice unto idols, we know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is none other God but one. For though there be that are called gods, whether in heaven or in earth, (as there be gods many, and lords many,) But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we by him. Howbeit there is not in every man that knowledge: for some with conscience of the idol unto this hour eat it as a thing offered unto an idol; and their conscience being weak is defiled. But meat commendeth us not to God: for neither, if we eat, are we the better; neither, if we eat not, are we the worse. But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak. For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol's temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols; And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ. Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend. (1 Corinthians 8:1-13 KJV)

See my issue with what you posted.

I didn't want to write a sermon but I just felt you needed the corrections and I would be selfish not to give it.

I'm not tempted by him because I have knowledge. I'm not tempted by my friends that sell drugs because I have knowledge. There are things and people that do tempt me, there are people that do communicate evil to me but he's not one of them.

You have to be grounded with our faith. We can not risk holding ourselves above others even though we are different but with out the humbleness of Christ we follow legalism and not the word of God.
 
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Avniel

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You said he is a person you can't give advice to.

Now I know you aren't in a relationship with this man but this sort of thing is a huge red flag when it happens in relationships, this is a huge sign of emotional abuse between lovers, marriage partners, boyfriends girlfriends... when one side can say whatever they want and you are not allowed to have any say back and you are not allowed to advise them... that's a really big problem. In a marriage that's emotional abuse.

I only say all that to say this in general is a very bad thing, he's not your friend.

If there is some reason why you feel like you can't just tell this guy to leave and stop or change right now... then this may be some form of an abusive relationship.
Truthfully I feel sorry for him.

You know I see my best friend acting stupid I can approach him. When he was dating he'd tell me a situation and I could tell him what it is.

When I think of him I think of just a weak emotional man that's real sensative. I respect the fact he went to war but I'm just not used to dealing with people with fragil emotions.

I don't think he was my friend I think I felt bad for him and I live away from my best friend so I just basically took him on.
 
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Avniel

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Not being easily offended and loving is not the same thing as inviting conflict and troubles into your life, neither is it the same as allowing people to take advantage of you and insult you and cause you problems and cause problems for your family members.

This friend is incredibly inconsiderate of you, him being your friend means you have the right and reason to tell him exactly how you feel... if he does not care and will not listen then is not your friend, this isn't simply that you are abandoning him... if he will not listen to you and try his very best to change these things then he is not your friend, he is not your friend, he does not love you, he does not like you, he is not your friend.

You can love him, pray for him, respect him, be kind to him... that doesn't mean you have a friendship with him, much less invite him over to your home to spend time with you and your wife.

You taught me something just know.

He's not my friend he is just someone that knew no one in the area I'm new and my family and friends are an hour train ride away so we hung out because of convenience not friendship.

I was being friendly in a Christ like way but he was being rude like you said.


That's why my wife doesn't like him because he's not my friend and by the looks of it he wouldn't make a good friend great advice
 
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briareos

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If he's just young and naive and you felt sorry for him then there is probably some good there that you saw in him and the friendship is probably warranted... ya know? What made you feel sorry for him? What about him appealed to you?

Now if your friendship has been betrayed and he's nothing like you thought that's different. It is sad that he's sensitive, but the very bad things you listed about him seem to say he doesn't really care about you at all and probably wouldn't miss you anyway.
 
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Avniel

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If he's just young and naive and you felt sorry for him then there is probably some good there that you saw in him and the friendship is probably warranted... ya know? What made you feel sorry for him? What about him appealed to you?

Now if your friendship has been betrayed and he's nothing like you thought that's different. It is sad that he's sensitive, but the very bad things you listed about him seem to say he doesn't really care about you at all and probably wouldn't miss you anyway.

War, family situations and his attitude about life just make me sad. You ever didn't like someone but you felt really bad for them at the sametime?
 
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briareos

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I am glad something I said helped, sometimes it is good to trust the judgement of our spouse, they know and love us more than anyone else does and sometimes they have a unique eye to see problems that we can't see yet, because they love us, care for us, know us better than anyone else, they will stand up for us against anyone and anything and their loyalty is to us... sometimes they can see things we can't see and we should trust their judgement.

But also, spouses deserve the greatest honor and loyalty, they promised everything... no one else deserves that loyalty and no one can challenge her for that loyalty, no one else deserves it and no one really knows you like she does.
 
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briareos

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War, family situations and his attitude about life just make me sad. You ever didn't like someone but you felt really bad for them at the sametime?

Yes, I understand. Try to love him from a distance if you can, pray for him, be available to help if he ever needs it but that doesn't mean invite him over for dinner. You have a good heart!
 
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Alive_Again

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We're talking about two different things. Realistically, it's about whether or not you want to continue your friendship with an unbeliever, bearing bad fruit, to the opposition of your family unity. It's not about whether or not it's right or wrong to say something about being white or black. That's an entirely carnal perspective. It's not about giving correction, or whether or not it's right to be angry.

If you're in Christ and seated in Heavenly places, you're "dead" and alive unto Christ. That man is not easily offended. He lays his opinions down and takes up Christ's. It's not about being black or white. The whole idea about that even being in any way relevant is deceptive. In the Spirit, we're not white or black. And those in the world will say offensive things from time to time, and we should expect that and have patience.

The question is, whether or not it is compromising your holiness with the Lord, not about whether or not some form of rebuke is called for. If you said something to him about race, and the you stopped hanging out with him, he would deduce that it would be for this reason. Realistically, it should be because you love the Lord and want to walk after Him, and your friend is not. It's easy for your friend to see why he can't hang with you if you're doing something he doesn't feel inclined to follow.

The whole offended by racial comments things should probably be laid down in favor of walking in love and being tolerant, having longsuffering and forgiveness. Unless you want to leave behind your "dead" status and being alive unto God, and take up your own righteousness, which is not of God. We trade one for the other.

Choose well regarding your friend and do it for the right reasons, and seek to lay down any offensive mindsets others may accidentally or intentionally send.
 
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briareos

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Implying that concern over racism is purely a human matter and not a Godly matter isn't really accurate... that sort of divisiveness, hatred, lack of consideration is just affronting period... an attempt to be about Godly things only, His things only doesn't actually remove those concerns or problems. You loving him as a human being doesn't make that situation any more workable and being so concerned doesn't make you not in Christ and it certainly doesn't accumulate to a law like self righteousness.
 
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Alive_Again

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You have the perspective of one who is not seated in heavenly places. The risen one in Christ, seated with Him, shares His heart and is not moved by slights, or perceived slights. He does not seek his own welfare.

Many people need healing from racial slights, but it is better to lay this down and get back to what the real issue is, whether or not the enemy will be allowed to remain in the camp and influence the brother's walk. That is of the utmost importance. Whether or not someone perceived a slight (when they possible had no intention of that at all) is not really part of the decision to continue a semblance of "fellowshipping".

The whole "moron" thing is not at all Christlike either. One of the enemy's biggest things is to distract the people of God from what is really important.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
1 Cor 13:4-7
 
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If Not For Grace

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I just want to cut him off

and just what is it that stops you, in all your description of the relationship I did hear once how he enhanced your life or anything other than how you have to put up with what sounds like unacceptable behavior in order to have the friendship. Sounds way to one-sided a deal for it to be a real friendship.
 
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