I've decided to do the love dare

Avniel · Oct 7, 2012

FatherHaveMercy said:
I'm tried the love dare and we weren't successful just because of our situation (hubby is in prison) we plan on trying it when he comes home. I seem to have misplaced my book I would be willing to try it again. I might have to be a little more creative when doing the study. My husband said he wants the book to try it now. I'll have to go buy a copy for him.

~ Holland8*29*08Italy ~

Yes finally someone down for the project this is gonna be fun

jminnesota · Oct 7, 2012

we like doing our own rather then what books or movies etc happen to say.

Tropical Wilds · Oct 7, 2012

I watched the movie because it was the be-all and end-all for awhile, and it was on Netflix streaming... You couldn't read a post on here for awhile without somebody asking "Did you try "The Love Dare?" as the solution to all marital issues.

While the movie made me want to claw my eyes out because it was so bad, I found the ideas in the "Love Dare" book interesting. At it's core, it seems pretty basic and self-explanatory, commonsense "no duh" stuff, but I think it can be a great catalyst for examining things a little closer then you may have on your own. Sometimes the key to perspiration is inspiration, and if this is what inspires you to check your marriage for trouble before they become unmanageable, or this is what inspires you to reinforce an already strong marriage, then I say more power to you.

The only advice I have is that some of the book was presented in a way that seemed to encourage somewhat patronizing behavior towards your spouse. Before putting the advice into action, I'd weigh out if what is suggested has true value for you, or if you're doing it because the book outlines that's the "next step."

If you want a great, though intense, book to read together, check this one out: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0310283604 . It's not a marital/self-help book persay, but it is an incredibly insightful and profound book... It's just hard to describe. It's kind of a shared experience book, something to talk about together, and a great way to open up together over experiences and beliefs in a non-intimidating way.

Roxa · Oct 7, 2012

I have tried the love dare, but did not get very far (not because it was bad, but because of stuff happening in our lives with our special needs son). After that did not work, hubby and I wanted to do a devotional together so we got the Love Dare devotional (52 weeks I think). It worked so much better than both of us doing the "Normal" Love Dare. It had a challenge to do together once a week with daily devotions to read the rest of the week.

jminnesota · Oct 8, 2012

i feel when you are married you need to work on your relationship all the time or it will burn out. even when you have full time jobs and kids you still need to find time for eachother. doing the little things make the heart grow stronger and make the fire grow deeper.

jminnesota · Oct 8, 2012

also god has to be in your relationship to make it work too.

Avniel · Oct 8, 2012

jminnesota said:
i feel when you are married you need to work on your relationship all the time or it will burn out. even when you have full time jobs and kids you still need to find time for eachother. doing the little things make the heart grow stronger and make the fire grow deeper.

I do little things we travel currently I'm in Memphis on my way back to NYC we do a lot of road trips. We have movie night ect and we pray and not only that discuss the bible. Our relationship is very fun. I hate the fact that when you bring up an issue people jump to conclusions.

j500minn · Oct 8, 2012

my wife and i watched fireproof together and wow i know its based on the love dare. we been married almost 2 years and its wonderful to watch shows how if you dont work at your relationship how quick the devil comes in to take you down. and how things like inappropriate content and lack of respect can damage a relationship just like that. my wife and i keep our computer in the kitchen so we can see what we are looking at and seeing. we never look at inappropriate content and we never get to busy that we dont have time for eachother. we keep the passion in the bedroom and our bedroom is for sleep and sex only. no tv in bedroom we feel if we want to see tv we can watch it in the living room. we balance work and life and we have god as the center of our relationship

Avniel · Oct 10, 2012

Side note I was thinking of all the things people have said.

A great deal of you who are against love dare.

Believe divorce is ok
It's not a sin to divorce and remarry
The wife doesn't have to submit to her husband
Have advised people to get divorced
Use terms such as "put your foot down"
Ect.

The come in here and say that no book can teach you how to communicate with your spouse??? I'm just on the first few days and its really good so far and like it. I enjoy adding the love scriptures to my everyday scriptures and the "dares" are fun and put being loving to the front of your mind. I enjoy it it's fun and me and my wife are having fun doing it.

I just find it so interesting that most not all that are against this book have said things or advised people to do things that would have made me leave my house.

illudium_phosdex · Oct 10, 2012

I would probably do me some good to try this. Here in the last few weeks my husband has really been getting on my nerves and I haven't exactly been feeling a whole lot of love. I'm a firm believer in "fake it until you make it" so yeah....

mkgal1 · Oct 10, 2012

Avniel said:
Side note I was thinking of all the things people have said.

A great deal of you who are against love dare.

Believe divorce is ok
It's not a sin to divorce and remarry
The wife doesn't have to submit to her husband
Have advised people to get divorced
Use terms such as "put your foot down"
Ect.

The come in here and say that no book can teach you how to communicate with your spouse??? I'm just on the first few days and its really good so far and like it. I enjoy adding the love scriptures to my everyday scriptures and the "dares" are fun and put being loving to the front of your mind. I enjoy it it's fun and me and my wife are having fun doing it.

I just find it so interesting that most not all that are against this book have said things or advised people to do things that would have made me leave my house.

For clarification:

Believe divorce is ok (more accurately, I believe marriage ought to be based on genuine love---where both values the other spouse).

It's not a sin to divorce and remarry (not *always* a sin).

The wife doesn't have to submit to her husband (both husband and wife submit to one another as unto the Lord---that doesn't mean wife doesn't submit---that means she isn't the only one that submits unto the Lord).

Have advised people to get divorced (personally.....I've never advised anyone to get divorced).

Use terms such as "put your foot down" (not my words---but, I believe others are only saying there are limits and standards in relationships--*especially marriage* as the two are to be united as one. In that, I agree.)

SearchingStudent · Oct 10, 2012

Avniel said:
Side note I was thinking of all the things people have said.

A great deal of you who are against love dare.

Believe divorce is ok
It's not a sin to divorce and remarry
The wife doesn't have to submit to her husband
Have advised people to get divorced
Use terms such as "put your foot down"
Ect.

The come in here and say that no book can teach you how to communicate with your spouse??? I'm just on the first few days and its really good so far and like it. I enjoy adding the love scriptures to my everyday scriptures and the "dares" are fun and put being loving to the front of your mind. I enjoy it it's fun and me and my wife are having fun doing it.

I just find it so interesting that most not all that are against this book have said things or advised people to do things that would have made me leave my house.

There are people here who have faced incredible marital issues including infidelity and divorce. So...until you've walked a mile in those shoes, don't pass judgement on those of us who "put our foot down" and in return got a spouse who woke up to the damage they had done to their family and turned away from what they were doing.

As someone who's been around the block a few times, escaped a violent and abusive marriage and nipped that same behavior in the bud with my now husband, there are times when it pays to listen to the voices of experience. So...you do not know everything, you do not know what it's like to face incredible difficulties and you don't know what it is like when it becomes necessary to defend yourself and your children from a psychotic monster who gets his jollies beating up defenseless children.

Now..."The Love Dare"...pop-psychology baloney with a Christian veneer. A few sessions with a good marriage counselor and a willingness to work through whatever is going on, along with a willingness to change is all you need.

You can sit on your superiority horse all day long and it will not change my opinion on this. Talk to me when you've experienced some of the real bad side of marriage...OK? Until then...keep your high-handed judgements to yourself.

Avniel · Oct 10, 2012

SearchingStudent said:
There are people here who have faced incredible marital issues including infidelity and divorce. So...until you've walked a mile in those shoes, don't pass judgement on those of us who "put our foot down" and in return got a spouse who woke up to the damage they had done to their family and turned away from what they were doing.

As someone who's been around the block a few times, escaped a violent and abusive marriage and nipped that same behavior in the bud with my now husband, there are times when it pays to listen to the voices of experience. So...you do not know everything, you do not know what it's like to face incredible difficulties and you don't know what it is like when it becomes necessary to defend yourself and your children from a psychotic monster who gets his jollies beating up defenseless children.

Now..."The Love Dare"...pop-psychology baloney with a Christian veneer. A few sessions with a good marriage counselor and a willingness to work through whatever is going on, along with a willingness to change is all you need.

You can sit on your superiority horse all day long and it will not change my opinion on this. Talk to me when you've experienced some of the real bad side of marriage...OK? Until then...keep your high-handed judgements to yourself.

Why would I take your advice based on your opinion on pop psychology you have a divorce I don't believe in it? Based on your experinces no I wouldn't know how it feels to be married to that person. Doesn't your situation cause you to bias?

As I've said I don't know your life don't care to truthfully. If you advise my wife to "put her foot down" I'm headed to my cousins house for awhile. Your situation and your experinces are yours not the world.

This post appears to me as though its bitter.

After everything you have stated in your post how can I, a married man that has never hit nor yelled at my wife nor cussed her in our entire relationship, view your advice is for me regarding any topic on marriage?

Niffer · Oct 10, 2012

....I think we may all need to take a step back here.

Avniel was just looking to see if anyone wanted to do the "Love Dare" with him, not debate the theology or pop-culture behind it.

Let's go back to the OP shall we?
If you're not interested in the Love Dare, then don't respond.

If you want to make a new thread about the "pop-culture" side of Christian material, I suggest it be made into a new thread, because this one is verging on a flame war.

Love, people. Love.

Peace,
- Niff

Avniel · Oct 10, 2012

Niffer said:
....I think we may all need to take a step back here.

Avniel was just looking to see if anyone wanted to do the "Love Dare" with him, not debate the theology or pop-culture behind it.

Let's go back to the OP shall we?
If you're not interested in the Love Dare, then don't respond.

If you want to make a new thread about the "pop-culture" side of Christian material, I suggest it be made into a new thread, because this one is verging on a flame war.

Love, people. Love.

Peace,
- Niff

Thank you niff me and you have gotten in our arguments but if I'm trying to find a way to be more loving to my wife why are so many people bothered by it?

Then I looked at history of posts.

SearchingStudent · Oct 10, 2012

Avniel said:
Why would I take your advice based on your opinion on pop psychology you have a divorce I don't believe in it? Based on your experinces no I wouldn't know how it feels to be married to that person. Doesn't your situation cause you to bias?

As I've said I don't know your life don't care to truthfully. If you advise my wife to "put her foot down" I'm headed to my cousins house for awhile. Your situation and your experinces are yours not the world.

This post appears to me as though its bitter.

After everything you have stated in your post how can I, a married man that has never hit nor yelled at my wife nor cussed her in our entire relationship, view your advice is for me regarding any topic on marriage?

If I advised your wife to put her foot down, I'd have a good reason. If you chose to leave because you didn't have the humility to realize that you were messing up, I'd put my foot down. If you chose to leave...leave.

I am not bitter, I am honest. You say you do not believe in divorce. Here's the bottom line. Either I divorced the psycho or there would have been multiple funerals, mine included. No amount of submitting would have helped. No amount of "controlling the children" would have helped. He was nuts. Not only did I divorce him, I had to leave the state I lived in at the time.

But...you said you didn't care...what a wonderful example of Christianity. Nice knowin' ya...you're on the block list.

Avniel · Oct 10, 2012

mkgal1 said:
For clarification:

Believe divorce is ok (more accurately, I believe marriage ought to be based on genuine love---where both values the other spouse).

It's not a sin to divorce and remarry (not *always* a sin).

The wife doesn't have to submit to her husband (both husband and wife submit to one another as unto the Lord---that doesn't mean wife doesn't submit---that means she isn't the only one that submits unto the Lord).

Have advised people to get divorced (personally.....I've never advised anyone to get divorced).

Use terms such as "put your foot down" (not my words---but, I believe others are only saying there are limits and standards in relationships--*especially marriage* as the two are to be united as one. In that, I agree.)

How do you feel about love dare?

And if my wife put her feet down I would be highly upset because we communicate and compromise sometimes it's me sometimes it's her but I thought that's what friendship was about?

Niffer · Oct 10, 2012

Avniel said:
Thank you niff me and you have gotten in our arguments but if I'm trying to find a way to be more loving to my wife why are so many people bothered by it?

Then I looked at history of posts.

Hey! I'm all about showin' love to your spouse, I own the Love Dare too, but can't commit to doing it right now.

So I get where you're coming from!

I just feel like your thread got derailed from your original intent, so I thought I'd give it a bump back on track.

Peace,
- Niff

ImaginaryDay · Oct 10, 2012

Avniel said:
Side note I was thinking of all the things people have said.

A great deal of you who are against love dare.

Believe divorce is ok
It's not a sin to divorce and remarry
The wife doesn't have to submit to her husband
Have advised people to get divorced
Use terms such as "put your foot down"
Ect.

The come in here and say that no book can teach you how to communicate with your spouse??? I'm just on the first few days and its really good so far and like it. I enjoy adding the love scriptures to my everyday scriptures and the "dares" are fun and put being loving to the front of your mind. I enjoy it it's fun and me and my wife are having fun doing it.

I just find it so interesting that most not all that are against this book have said things or advised people to do things that would have made me leave my house.

Here's the thing, though. I thought the 'love dare' was supposed to be 'covert' where one spouse had no idea that the other was taking the dare, then to journal the results. Since your wife knows that you are taking these steps sort of makes the point moot and only justifies everyone's objections to 'by the numbers' Christianity.

Avniel · Oct 10, 2012

SearchingStudent said:
If I advised your wife to put her foot down, I'd have a good reason. If you chose to leave because you didn't have the humility to realize that you were messing up, I'd put my foot down. If you chose to leave...leave.

I am not bitter, I am honest. You say you do not believe in divorce. Here's the bottom line. Either I divorced the psycho or there would have been multiple funerals, mine included. No amount of submitting would have helped. No amount of "controlling the children" would have helped. He was nuts. Not only did I divorce him, I had to leave the state I lived in at the time.

But...you said you didn't care...what a wonderful example of Christianity. Nice knowin' ya...you're on the block list.

See people get mad when it's the truth. I don't care that's neither here nor there I don't think it's a sin not to care. I love everybody even you.

If you advised my wife to put her foot down then you are against my marriage. In my marriage we communicate we talk and we compromise anything else isn't us.

Block me if you don't like the truth because anyone that has posted here will tell you I speak my mind

I've decided to do the love dare

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