What do you think about listening?

For me, listening is more an active activity because making my mind calm down to listen requires effort and choice. It is like my daughter who I was practicing taking pulses and counting respirations on for a nursing skills test. I discovered that she subconsciously holds her breath when I take her pulse. She says it is the only way she can sit still for that 60 seconds that I need her to be still.

However, my job is to slow down enough to listen...it does not mean I always get a message...but I have to choose to be available.

memoriesbymichelle said:

I have some friends and family that while they may consider themselves good listeners because they are actively listening to what I say, will interupt me mid sentence to get more facts or confirm what they think I am saying. I really hate this and find it quite rude (although I never say anything to them about it). I wish they would let me finish and then ask their questions lol. It interupts my thought process and then I have to start all over again or remember (which isn't so easy anymore) where I left off.

And then for me, there have been plenty of times that I only half listen. Sometimes it's because the person is rambling on and on and it's mentally draining and sometimes because I am thinking about something else.

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Interrupting for more information doesn't meet any definition of "active" listener that I've ever heard. Active listening means you drop all other thoughts to really focus on what is being said both verbally and non-verbally. (Actually covered this a couple weeks ago in class because nurse must be a good active listener.) I'd find the interruptions...even for information...annoying too.

Unless we're being lectured, listening is active. Meaningful conversation involves interaction. An interchange of information and ideas between people. We listen attentively, and then share our thoughts accordingly.

I'm an active listener to the extent that it can be hard for me to engage without interaction. Being a passive recipient rarely works for me. I almost always have thoughts and questions pertaining to what's being said. If the conversation becomes too one sided, my mind begins to wander. Not necessarily off topic, but wrestling with the implications of what's being said, looking at what's being said from different perspectives etc. What the speaker mentions may suggest other things and, in the absence of meaningful dialog, I'm left to fill in the gaps.

To be clear, I'm not talking about interrupting others. Dominating the conversation, whether by interruption or by not letting the other speak, is counterproductive. As in other aspects of life, the golden rule applies.

blackribbon said:

Interrupting for more information doesn't meet any definition of "active" listener that I've ever heard. Active listening means you drop all other thoughts to really focus on what is being said both verbally and non-verbally. (Actually covered this a couple weeks ago in class because nurse must be a good active listener.) I'd find the interruptions...even for information...annoying too.

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Yes,I find interuptions very annoying,especially when I am using an illustration,such as an example,or an analogy to make a point. Often someone will realize,that if they had listened to my whole story,from the begining,to the middle,and to the end,that they would have easily gotten my point,as I am very good with analogies and ilustrations. Reading the parables of the New Testament helped me to use story telling as a way to make a point.

Now,sometimes I will interupt,because I thought that the speaker was finished. People will tell me,"Let me finish!" In acting,when one hears one's cue,one knows when the speaker is finished. In real life,it is difficult for me,sometimes to tell if one is finished,because I have no cue words to listen for.If someone takes a breath,I assume that they are finished talking. However some people seem to never take a breath.

One lady told me that when she is talking to me,I look as if I am not listening. I told her that I was listening to her. Why do people judge me by my looks? I cannot help what I look like. After I told her word for word what she said to me,then she believed me that I was in fact listening to her. Having a great memory helpd me to listen,also.

I used to have a bad habit of interrupting. A lot of times it was to agree, to support what was being said. I know it's annoying and I work on it. And listening is definitely active. If you're not actively listening, you're just hearing - and hearing is not the same.

Isn't it sad we all have no problem tallking to God in Pray, but very few Christian know how to listen to Him in Prayer. What I mean by that is God will often speak to us in a still small voice (I Kings 1911-12). So if we don't want to be rude to God, we need to be still (Psalms 46:10), and wait upon God (Psalms 62:1; Isaiah 40:30-31) at least for a short time in our prayers. For God is alway a great conversationalist but are we? I know I need a lot of work in this area.

In terms of listening to God, it can be hard because there are always three voices going on. Gods, the devils and your own. Its hard to distinguish between them all sometimes. Now though I have gotten better at it.

As for listening to others. I am a great listener. I am shy and don't speak much, but when I do its usually wisdom (thanks to God of course). I listen to what had to say all the way then offer advice or whatever they need. I never cared for people who either interrupt what your saying or don't really listen at all. Its like talking to a wall.

memoriesbymichelle said:

I totally agree and am guilty of going thru my "list" of things I want God to answer and I'm so bad at asking what do you want God? or What are you trying to say. Although I DO tell him that he must speak loudly because I am pretty deaf spiritually, like He doesn't already know

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LOL, I know the feeling, God like to speak softly, and I'm like could you please speak louder so I know for sure it is you, God.

xfreakazoidx said:

In terms of listening to God, it can be hard because there are always three voices going on. Gods, the devils and your own. Its hard to distinguish between them all sometimes. Now though I have gotten better at it.

As for listening to others. I am a great listener. I am shy and don't speak much, but when I do its usually wisdom (thanks to God of course). I listen to what had to say all the way then offer advice or whatever they need. I never cared for people who either interrupt what your saying or don't really listen at all. Its like talking to a wall.

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I think we all have that problem when we try to listen to God, is it really God, or is my flesh lying to me or even the devil trying to stir up trouble.

I do try to be a good listener, but sometimes interrupt people. So I will have to work on that.