The many different things we grieve....

rowantree said:

Oh wow Colleen. What a good subject for discussion. I would like to participate, but at this moment cannot write too much. Will do just as soon as I can.

We don't only grieve the loss of someone we love, we grieve our past and things lost through all kinds of things. I will say more another time, but that is just an opener.

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Exactly! Thanks for your comments. I'm glad you stopped in and posted.

With grief comes a myriad of feelings and these feelings come and go not always at the most opportune times. This can feel like a rather unpleasant roller coaster ride. Grieving involves so many different feelings like hurt, anger, confusion, anxiety (fear), relief, sentimentality, etc. and they can all seem to come at once or one right after the other.

I've read some good bits and parts regarding grieving written by Elisabeth Kubler Ross. One passage in particular concerned anger. I'll try hunting it down and posting it.

BlondieLashes said:

I am grieving the loss of my ability to drive very far. I have grieved the loss of my childhood and young adulthood...

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I hear you on all accounts. I've lost so much in my life and a few recent events have drug a lot of it up all over again. It's hit me like a big whammo the last couple months. I feel for you.

rowantree said:

Colleen, thankyou for starting this thread. It is very close to my heart right now. I think it will be very helpful to many people.

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You're very welcome. I think it's definitely worthy of discussion. I'm glad it's helpful. It's close to my heart too now.

rowantree said:

I am with BlondieLashes too - grieving the loss of my childhood and young adulthood. I never was a child. Enough said at this moment about the young adulthood. That might come later.

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Not fun. I've been there and that is one of the issues that's come up again with this latest stuff.

rowantree said:

Also grieving the loss of my husband as I used to know him. He is still alive, but not the same person at all as he used to be. Grieving the things we used to do together.

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I've been in different situations but yes, grieving relationships and stuff like that can be a huge loss. It can be so very hard and at times when we have things around that remind us of those 'better' times / the horrible times, it can be a constant bit of turmoil because it's like a constant reminder for me of the pain and loss of it all time and time again.

rowantree said:

Looking forward to others joining in, and I think this is going to be very helpful and therapeutic.

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Me too and I hope so.

UnionJack said:

hmmm i really like topic of this thread
I just watched a video on Christ as a suffering servant who also had a lot of grief
so i guess grief and suffering is to be expected in our lives as well....

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Yes and regarding a number of varying things. I think Christ is a great example of this. The various things he had to grieve. E.G. The 'Judas kiss' = betrayal from the people He loves and who were suppose to love Him...this is my BIG HUGE UGLY issue.

I saw a movie once and one of the scenes has stuck in my mind and made such an impact all these years. In the scene a question is posed. The question is what's worse than rape. The answer: betrayal regarding that deep pain by the ones who are suppose to love us. We have that deep pain etc and we are revictimized by the ones who are suppose to care. For myself this is HUGE. The ones I open my heart up to and am vulnerable with the most can hurt all the more when they betray and revictimize.

The one thing I notice too is that with the emotion of anger it can come out in the way one walks, vaccums, talks, etc. I get tired of hurting so I'm angry. I don't want to be an angry jaded person who hurts others etc so I go back to the place of pain. Some of these feelings can be intense and so I need a 'holiday' from them but it can then feel like a constant elastic band between pain and anger. Ugh. Little by little as I process and deal with this icky place of feeling my feelings, I get better. But, the healing never seems to come quick enough. I also have to learn to be content in the place I'm currently in in the process of healing. Easier said than done.

UnionJack said:

yeah. it made me think... that his suffering and grief was not limited to just when He was on the cross...i think He bore those types of feelings the ENTIRE time, like heavy grief every single day

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Yes, I agree. He had so much responsibility and knowledge and having to carry it all must have been a great burden. One of my favourite verses is Ecclesiastes 1:18 and I think it's rather relevant here.

Ecclesiastes 1:18

New International Version (NIV)

18 For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.

......
Some people say that 'ignorance is bliss'. I think it has to do with this issue but I don't consider ignorance to be truly blissful though. Not a good way to live and every time I think about it, I'd rather be the way I am than not care. Not easy to care / open up our hearts at times...

UnionJack said:

mmmmm for me ive used grief and suffering before as an excuse to disobey God...
only to find out that that actually makes life soo much worse than it was before

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Yes, I've been there, worn the t-shirt and thrown it out a few times. ...or an excuse not to care any more and close people out. I agree with you so much and was just saying this yesterday. So very true. ....

UnionJack said:

Yep...but then..., when life gets really bad and my desire to follow God is low and im slipping away and im really not pursuing Jesus anymore, then out of nowhere, He always finds a way to pull me back and has me repent and the desire comes back like 1000% stronger than ever....:o

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Yes, that's great. God is a good Father.