Teenage Boys & Faith

I don't have an answer for you, but I love you.

Can I adopt you as my son?

Ryan2012 said:

I'm a teen boy of 16 and i wonder why so few teen boys have faith, or want to be open about it if they do.i am always open about my faith and I talk to teen girls abut it and they are more willing to discuss it and there are more girls come to church, but if i try to talk to other lads my age they seem to get uncomfortable and don't want to talk about it. I don't understand why

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I assume because they simply aren't interested in religion right now unless a girl is involved.

Ryan2012 said:

I'm a teen boy of 16 and i wonder why so few teen boys have faith, or want to be open about it if they do.i am always open about my faith and I talk to teen girls abut it and they are more willing to discuss it and there are more girls come to church, but if i try to talk to other lads my age they seem to get uncomfortable and don't want to talk about it. I don't understand why

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It's not the level of things their brain is wired to think at at that age.

ebia said:

It's not the level of things their brain is wired to think at at that age.

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Is that true? I knew 2 or 3 guys when they were 16 (give and take a year) who were very religious.

2 or 3 being key numbers there. Its rare for kids that age to be very religious of any persuasion. They may know they're Christian or Muslim, etc. because that is what they were raised in, they may go to church on Sunday, etc. but for the most part they aren't wired to think much about religion at that age.

Paradoxum said:

Is that true? I knew 2 or 3 guys when they were 16 (give and take a year) who were very religious.

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We are talking generalities. Of course not everyone fits that.

Dude, a few boys you know might be cowards about it. The High School environment is very very tough.

But, *most people* aren't Christians. To non-Christians, we're *REALLY WEIRD*. Jesus told us that we'll be in the world, but not of the world. At the same time, be moderate about it. Don't try and talk about it all the time and at every opportunity, or else they'll start pulling away from you entirely. No one likes to be preached to, and no one likes to be nagged at. Walk the walk, don't just talk. Let them *ask you*. If you walk the walk, they will ask..if all you do is yap about it, they'll start to pull away.

The girls might be crushing on you.

CrashTestPoster said:

Dude, a few boys you know might be cowards about it. The High School environment is very very tough.

But, *most people* aren't Christians. To non-Christians, we're *REALLY WEIRD*. Jesus told us that we'll be in the world, but not of the world. At the same time, be moderate about it. Don't try and talk about it all the time and at every opportunity, or else they'll start pulling away from you entirely. No one likes to be preached to, and no one likes to be nagged at. Walk the walk, don't just talk. Let them *ask you*. If you walk the walk, they will ask..if all you do is yap about it, they'll start to pull away.

The girls might be crushing on you.

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Uhh most people I know are Christians. Of course I live in the midwest and on the boarder of the south. My fiance is Canadian and I hear people are a lot more lax or private about religion up there which was my experience as well up there. So are you weird? Not at all..I grew up in a very Christian environment and in a fairly Christian society.

The rest though you're spot on about.

Caitlin.ann said:

2 or 3 being key numbers there. Its rare for kids that age to be very religious of any persuasion. They may know they're Christian or Muslim, etc. because that is what they were raised in, they may go to church on Sunday, etc. but for the most part they aren't wired to think much about religion at that age.

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Well I don't know what it is like in America, but in Britain it seems like most people aren't religious at school. Boys and girls the same more or less.

ebia said:

We are talking generalities. Of course not everyone fits that.

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Yup

CrashTestPoster said:

But, *most people* aren't Christians.

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Where? In Canada?

In the United States they are in the majority.

To non-Christians, we're *REALLY WEIRD*.

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I never particularly found Christians "weird". However, they could be difficult to relate to if their experience of life is different than my own.


eudaimonia,

Mark

Maybe you are used to Christian weirdness, then. I was not always a Christian, and recall well how weird Christians seemed, and the things we used to say to each other about Christians. I laughed with people about them "is that what they really believe?".

Where I came from, most people weren't Chrsitians. One of my teachers in school for a society class asked everyone individually. There were only two "real" Christians in that class (of about 30). The others said things like, "I am on paper", meaning that they are written in some membership roll somewhere, "but I don't practice it". And "I don't believe in it" and "we aren't religious". That's in Canada, Caitlin. So, while it's true that religion is "lax" and "very private" here, it's because very few people are Christian, or at least that they don't care as much about their Christianity. A 15:1 ratio is about accurate, although the ratio may be smaller as people get older and a few convert.

The American South might be a huge exception to that rule. My hubby has been there and attests that the culture is very much a Christian one. The American South is still the minority of the Western World, though.

The OP is talking about the reactions that are most reminiscent to me of how *non-Christians* behave. Christians would not be uncomfortable. I've talked to plenty of other Christians in real life, and in public settings..and no..not once did anyone look uncomfortable about it. Even when I disagreed with them about some aspect of Christian life or theology, *no one was uncomfortable*.

"In the Unites States they are in the majority."

Statistically, they are in the majority in Canada, but a lot of people think they are Christians when they don't hold to the fundamental beliefs of Christianity and they don't actively believe in it or practice it. They'll say they are "Christian" on a census form because they may have been taken to a church when they were a little kid. I'm sorry. You say they are the majority - I want to see *the fruits* of that. In the American South - you may be right. But, the rest - they don't bear that fruit at all. Canada..does not bear that fruit. Most of our culture is post-Christian.

I thought some Christians were pretty weird even when I was a Christian.

CrashTestPoster said:

I want to see *the fruits* of that.

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What does that mean? What "fruits" do you expect?


eudaimonia,

Mark

CrashTestPoster said:

The American South might be a huge exception to that rule. My hubby has been there and attests that the culture is very much a Christian one. The American South is still the minority of the Western World, though.

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Most people in the US identify as Christian, somewhere around 77%, so it's pretty normal just about everywhere you go. It's definitely more normal in the southern US, though. In the western US someone would ask you "Do you go to church?", assuming you go to a Christian church, and in the south they will ask "Which church do you go to?" and react a bit surprised and unsure if you tell them you don't go to any churches.

But anyway most kids and teenagers believe either whatever their parents believe or the opposite of that. They don't really have their own identities formed yet, that doesn't happen until they've grown up a bit and been out of their parents' house for a while. The OP might be surprised to find how different he is in 5-6 years.

Ryan2012 said:

I'm a teen boy of 16 and i wonder why so few teen boys have faith, or want to be open about it if they do.i am always open about my faith and I talk to teen girls abut it and they are more willing to discuss it and there are more girls come to church, but if i try to talk to other lads my age they seem to get uncomfortable and don't want to talk about it. I don't understand why

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I teach Sunday School to 7th and 8th grade (ages 12 - 14), but I work with older teens at times. Teens normally don't have that much experience with life. Many of Jesus' ideals, like treating people right, make sense to my kids, but it's a bit early for some of them to really think about the meaning of life. It depends upon the person, of course.

A lot also depends upon your community. We're in New Jersey, which is hardly the Bible belt. But still we have a good youth program in our church, in which a lot of kids participate. It's hard to do something if none of your friends are doing it, so I think it's likely to be easier for our kids to talk about faith and think about living it out than someplace where no one else around them is visibly Christian.

Not all churches have active youth programs. You might want to look around in your community. It's pretty common for kids to worship with parents Sunday morning but be part of a youth group in another church that has a more active one. Any of the mainline churches (Methodists, Lutherans [ELCA], Presbyterians [PCUSA], Episcopal, American Baptist, UCC, or Disciples of Christ) should be reasonably compatible with your church. (I'm assuming you're in the US. If not, obviously the list of denominations will be different.)

There are differences in development between girls and boys. Girls typically develop socially a bit earlier than boys. Some adults will say they mature sooner, but I don't find that the greater social orientation necessarily means more mature. E.g. our guys seem to handle conflict better than our girls.

So it's possible that in some groups boys might be more inhibited about talking about things that matter. Pre-teen and early teen years tend to be the hardest, in terms of making kids afraid to say anything that might make them seem un-cool. You're just starting to get out of that period. I will say that in our church boys and girls participate equally. But I still see differences in how they react.

Most teens just aren't interested. They see religion as this huge overwhelming thing, and I don't blame them. Christianity(and most religions) are an infinite concept, and we are only finite. So its a lot to wrap your brain around.

And to people who say we aren't "wired" for it yet, that's crap. Anyone can discuss logically the ideas of religion. I know some pretty young kids who are pretty smart and wise, and can have a logical discussion with me(just no fancy words, ).

Girder of Loins said:

And to people who say we aren't "wired" for it yet, that's crap. Anyone can discuss logically the ideas of religion. I know some pretty young kids who are pretty smart and wise, and can have a logical discussion with me(just no fancy words, ).

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There are smart kids, definitely, but they are far from their cognitive peak developmentally speaking. You're probably a sharp guy and it's going to amaze you how much sharper you get in the next five years or so.