Should I go to my cousin's coming out party?

Trogool · Aug 10, 2012

wiremu.white said:
My cousin has decided to have this party to celebrate coming out as a lesbian. My mother wants all the family to come along, has apparently decided that my father and her and the kids are all to go to along and dress up in fairy wings or something like that.

I find this fascinating. They used to be pretty straight laced Christians, went to church on a sunday, raised me in the faith and so on. They don't go to church any more though, haven't been in years.

Anyway, my conscience won't let me go along with it. I just feel that it would be celebrating something that shouldn't be celebrated like it's a good thing, same as a birthday or wedding, etc. I don't see how I can take St Paul's words to heart in my life on this topic, yet celebrate someone else's sin. Even if I did go, I would not fit in at all; there's just a world of difference that I can't reconcile. I'd probably end up just sitting in the corner, or preaching at someone.

Do you reckon I'm overreacting or being unreasonable on this?

You should go. Admitting one's sexual orientation isn't a sin by any stretch of the imagination.

But for heaven's sakes, don't dress up in fairy wings, that just sounds ridiculous.

Musicc · Aug 10, 2012

Even if you disagree, there is nothing wrong with providing emotional support.

TheyCallMeDave · Aug 10, 2012

Amber Bird said:
Your cousin was your blood before she came out as a Lesbian. Imagine the courage it takes to come out in a world wherein people have the attitudes toward her the likes of what posts here.
Imagine the courage it takes to face life living her truth, knowing it's all an uphill fight because she's already discriminated against by law. And stands to be treated differently too by family.

If you can't respect her at this party, certainly don't go. Just remember, there's something about you that someone could find to be "sinful". Including pride, self-righteousness and prejudice. If there were laws and attitudes that were in your face telling you because of those you weren't entitled to be liked, respected, equal as a citizen or entitled to be left to live your life without people always in your face condemning you for those traits, how would you feel?

If you see sin in your cousin before you see love for her as a member of your family, stay home. Blood makes for a relative. Love bonds a family.

True, there is something that the Cousin could find in the Poster regards sin...but if the Poster were told about it , she would take it into serious consideration and if it were a true sin against God then she would repent of it and be free from it ; the Cousin has no desire to do so and is only concerned with what SHE wants to do , even if it means condemnation from God for WILLFULLY / continuously living a lifestyle that snubs God.

Ones devotion to God and his Word to mankind has to come first, over the whims of Family when it comes to immoral lifestyle choices. Im not saying the Poster should ban the Cousin out of her life...not at all...but if the Poster sticks to her Godly Guns, then perhaps one day it will be a testimony to the Cousin that she needs to stop pretending she can get away living how she likes in willful rebellion to her Creator.

Jesus surrounded himself with the immoral ...yet he NEVER condoned their behavior and in fact lovingly warned them that there would be a big price to pay later. I cant imagine Jesus going to a Party for the Sexually Perverted and dancing / raising his hands up in celebration that 'they came out' .

Its high time real Christians stop caving into the pressure from a morally degraded Culture who expects us to join in their charade.

vortigen84 · Aug 10, 2012

Amber Bird said:
Your cousin was your blood before she came out as a Lesbian.

I have my own blood. I don't ascribe to ethnocentrism; she's my blood only in the same sense that you and every other member of the human race is, which for me holds no special significance. Unless you want to start talking about me being covered by the blood of Jesus.

Amber Bird said:
Imagine the courage it takes to come out in a world wherein people have the attitudes toward her the likes of what posts here.

I haven't seen anything disrespectful towards her here.

Amber Bird said:
Imagine the courage it takes to face life living her truth, knowing it's all an uphill fight because she's already discriminated against by law. And stands to be treated differently too by family.

I agree about the discriminated against by law part.

I'm not a social conservative; I want all to be treated equally under law.

Amber Bird said:
If you can't respect her at this party, certainly don't go.

I can respect her, I just can't respect her sin.

I can't celebrate something I think is wrong and tragic, because then I'm being fake and untrue to my conscience; it's a lack of integrity on my part.

Amber Bird said:
Just remember, there's something about you that someone could find to be "sinful". Including pride, self-righteousness and prejudice. If there were laws and attitudes that were in your face telling you because of those you weren't entitled to be liked, respected, equal as a citizen or entitled to be left to live your life without people always in your face condemning you for those traits, how would you feel?

<< Staff edit >>

Which is partly why I am a libertarian when it comes to politics, and a Christian when it comes to religion.

At the same time, people often feel like badly when they have any disapproval. Well, tough. If I approved everything, I would have no integrity and no morality. But this doesn't mean I hate her. Some people though, it's like they can't tell the difference: either you accept every part of them, or you hate their guts. Well, I think differently.

Amber Bird said:
If you see sin in your cousin before you see love for her as a member of your family, stay home. Blood makes for a relative. Love bonds a family.

I'm not ethnocentric so I don't care for the whole "blood" thing.

This thread is not about judging her for being a lesbian. It is about whether I should celebrate with her about her being a lesbian.

I think I'm going to have to pass. I simply cannot celebrate sin, my conscience won't allow it.

KimberlyAA · Aug 10, 2012

I think you're being absolutely reasonable. I don't think anyone who claims to follow Christ should condone that. I'm surprised to learn that people actually celebrate these things

TheyCallMeDave · Aug 10, 2012

Musicc said:
Even if you disagree, there is nothing wrong with providing emotional support.

Providing 'emotional support' = Condoning, enabling, encouraging a lifestyle wrought with problems and condemnation from God . Im afraid we real Christians dont do that even if its Family. That is why Jesus said if you follow Him, you will likely experience : ' A daughter against her Mother, a son against his Father, siblings against siblings'...and add to that Cousins and against Cousins --- so we already have the warning from our Lord himself.

'You cant love both the world (its lifestyle philosophies) and God at the same time...for, you will hate one and love the other' --- Christ.

vortigen84 · Aug 10, 2012

<< Staff Edit >>

If you are a Christian, you are not a homosexual, even though you may have homosexuality in what the Bible refers to as your "flesh."

This is because you are born-again; you are something the Bible refers to as a new creation in Christ. That becomes your identity. That's why you don't get thief Christians or womanizer Christians or so on either. If you are a Christian, you yourself are clean, though you have what St Paul refers to as a "body of death."

But enough about that, that's off topic. Can you fellas please not argue on this thread? I'm sure you can PM each other or something can't you?

TheyCallMeDave · Aug 10, 2012

<< Staff Edit >>

What is so honorable about admitting the truth that youve been in a homosexual lifestyle for quite awhile and now you are ready to vocalize it publicly and hold a celebration event for it ?! Being honorable is when you LIVE CORRECTLY and in accordance to Gods loving and protective moral mandates ; and if THAT truth comes out, then its something to really celebrate. But never sexual perversion or any form of immorality.

And no, Jesus would find it wrong to come out publicly and celebrate any lifestyle immorality ; instead, he would go to those wayward people and lovingly try to encourage them to get back on the right path which is narrow, not wide which leads to ultimate destruction. Nor would Jesus go along with the general consensus on what is 'right' ; in fact, he was thrown on a Cross for being so intolerant of such things by what he taught.

You see, being a Christian involves saying NO to popular ideologies which arise in a morally degraded society ... and its a cross which real Christians willingly carry . It may bring us alot of persecution from those who have morality-phobia and who hate the things of God....but its not going to be enough for us to recant our love and obedience to the Lord who is our Creator . Yours too. :bow:

<<<< Bowing to God...and not Mans ways.

dysert · Aug 10, 2012

wiremu.white said:
Anyway, my conscience won't let me go along with it. I just feel that it would be celebrating something that shouldn't be celebrated like it's a good thing, same as a birthday or wedding, etc.

Do you reckon I'm overreacting or being unreasonable on this?

As far as I can tell, the gay agenda is to make homosexual practices the societal norm. Having gay parades, coming-out parties, etc., is part of that strategy. (Note that I'm talking about behaviors and not the persons themselves. I think the jury is still out on whether sexual preference is from nature or from nurture.)

If you're on the fence about whether to go, think of it this way. Say that your cousin decided she was going to commit fornication. She wants her friends and family around to celebrate her decision to fornicate. Would you celebrate her decision?

Fornication is legal, just as homosexuality is legal. Fornication and engaging in homosexual behavior, though, are both sins in God's eyes.

Christians have no business celebrating what God calls sin.

paul1149 · Aug 10, 2012

wiremu.white said:
my conscience won't let me go along with it.

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. -Eph 5.11

How best to play that out, you will have to decide.

Joy · Aug 10, 2012

God did not make gays - God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve

Avniel · Aug 10, 2012

If it makes you uncomfortable then I wouldn't go. Sometimes we have to listen to that little voice inside us saying no.....

Also you are going to have a hard time here many people do not believe as you do. I understand that you love your cousin and care about her. My suggestion would be to pray for her and ask God to heal whatever is going on in her life to cause her to sin in this manner.

Also I would like to tell you do not respond to the posters that are accusing you of judging her. If I invited an atheist to church and they declined because they do not agree with what the bible says do I have a right to be mad at them? No, but it seems to me that the world wants christians to bend over backwards and compromise what we believe in to appear to be open minded. However the closed minds of the world towards us are acceptable....That is not just and it shows ignorance to one's beliefs.

If your cousin knows where you stand as a christian on this issue it was rude of her or your family to even invite you.

There is a difference between being closed minded and standing up for what you feel is right. Tolerance is not agreeing with what you feel is wrong. Love is not going along with any and everything.

Be strong brother

ChrisLeishy · Aug 10, 2012

<< Staff Edit >>

it really depends on how close a family it is and we don't have any idea how close they are.

In my life as a Christian I have had much more luck sharing my faith after showing some respect and tolerance to a degree

I found taking a hard line a bit hit and miss and usually closed more opportunities down. But that's me.

Sin is sin after all there is no grading system in sin to define one more sinful than another. I am a sinner, I try not to be but I am. Maybe her cousin is a better person than me because I am guilty of sin too.

But seriously I find christmas day offensive sometimes as it can be a celebration of gluttony. I try avoiding it best I can.

Mark71 · Aug 10, 2012

You should go, no you shouldn't go, no.. you should go, no wait, you shouldn't go lol.. Sorry about that.. had to have a little fun at my brothers and sisters responses

.
Whether you decide to go or not should be determined by your convictions. Noone is right or wrong in this instance but GOD has given you the wisdom to seek out advice.

But keep in mind,"Hate the sin but love the sinner" Salvation Army and a ton of other great organizations and missionaries enter darker areas than a coming out party to reach those that are lost. If you decide to go, you don't need to preach the Word to anyone. Simply show them that regardless of everything, you still love her and them.

ChrisLeishy · Aug 10, 2012

Mark71 said:
You should go, no you shouldn't go, no.. you should go, no wait, you shouldn't go lol.. Sorry about that.. had to have a little fun at my brothers and sisters responses .
Whether you decide to go or not should be determined by your convictions. Noone is right or wrong in this instance but GOD has given you the wisdom to seek out advice.

But keep in mind,"Hate the sin but love the sinner" Salvation Army and a ton of other great organizations and missionaries enter darker areas than a coming out party to reach those that are lost. If you decide to go, you don't need to preach the Word to anyone. Simply show them that regardless of everything, you still love her and them.

Wise words and very correct.

Puptart · Aug 10, 2012

I don't care if a person is "coming out" as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, asexual, no-sexual, or any other kind of [insert word here]sexual. Why? Because it's weird! Who has a party for that? :doh:

So I wouldn't go because I'd feel totally awkward being there because of someone's sexual choices. That's odd in my book.

Whether you go or not? Totally up to you and your comfort level. *shrugs*

Albion · Aug 10, 2012

ChrisLeishy said:
it really depends on how close a family it is and we don't have any idea how close they are.

From the OP, it appears that this person's parents are pressuring her to attend although she has scruples that work against it.. That's a sign of something less than very close.

In my life as a Christian I have had much more luck sharing my faith after showing some respect and tolerance to a degree

I'm afraid that there are enough buzz words there to scare off the cat. Her religious convictions do not incline her towards tolerating sin or passively showing approval for it by joining the festivities. Do you understand that?

I found taking a hard line a bit hit and miss and usually closed more opportunities down. But that's me.

And it's worth her while to consider that advice just the same as all the rest.

Ark100 · Aug 10, 2012

wiremu.white said:
I think I'm going to have to pass. I simply cannot celebrate sin, my conscience won't allow it.

well done! That is if you stick to this decision.
Regardless of many sentimental posts on here, what some people dont get is 'who celebrates coming out?'
Whats to celebrate about it? whats holy about it?

Goodluck to your and your decisions. God honours those who honour His words and stick to it, regardless. If I lose a family member's respect for honouring God and His words, then so be it.
I will not compromise my morals and love for God to please someone who revels in sinful lifestyle.

BFine · Aug 11, 2012

I know of a vast amount of people who reached many unsaved folks by showing them consistent friendship and the love of Christ...I would encourage you to be one of those type of people.

janny108 · Aug 11, 2012

is it possible to go but don't stay very long?

Should I go to my cousin's coming out party?

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