Exposed to a "Super Bug" (oh happy day!)

Hi Guys... I know I've been so out of touch here lately that some of you don't likely even know who I am but for those of you who do the reason is that my Mom in law has been going through one medical catastrophe after another for the past 6 weeks. We've had death bed vigils three times, she's been in hospice for two weeks, then rallied and spent two hours at a rehab facility before nearly bleeding to death internally, yet again. She's had 3/4 of her lungs burned from an aspiration injury, an anoxic brain injury,(lack of oxygen), coded once, and had an esophageal perforation during tube insertions. Through all this I've been with her a lot and been exposed to the worst case scenario stuff possible in a medical setting. She went in for a bowel blockage and had a simple laproscopic procedure and now all this. Her mind is completely gone at this point, she's 98 pounds and spends most of her days in an extreme agitated and angry state. Prior to all this she lived independantly and was still driving. My husband and I were ready to let her go weeks ago and during a lucid day she expressed that she wanted all medical interventions stopped and wanted to just die peacefully. Other family members have had trouble with that and have pushed for rehab. even against the recommendations of her attending physicians and nurses. So now she's back in the hopsital for yet another severe bleed and is being treated very agressively. The more the do to her the more she suffers and the weaker she gets. It's so pitiful. Yesterday we were told she has an infection in her gut which they call a super bug and can be passed to others. So now we can't see her without gowning up, latex gloves etc. I read the info. on it, Just once, and for the most part it sounds like only weak very ill and debilitated people are at risk for it. Now I suppose for most folk that this would suffice to lay their fears to rest.. but as you all know it did nothing to reassure me at all. My husband and his brother don't want me or my sister in law visiting her while she has this and that's a relief to me but since I had a pretty intense anxiety response to all this I'm trying to do some mental exposure to it. I also refuse to read the informational leaflet again and refuse to look it up on the internet to try and find ways to reassure myself that I or my husband won't get it. Nice... eh to be worrying about myself when my Mom in law is going through torture right now. Makes me feel like such a jerk! Please pray for her. Pray that if the Lord wills it He will just take her home to glory as peacefully and as quickly as possible or if He wills it that He will heal her without any more agressive medical interventions which are making her so miserable. Our hearts are breaking to watch her go through this. I swear to you that we wouldn't treat a dog or cat like this and it's really hard to watch. Pray that for her sake the other family members will be able to let her go, which is what she wanted while her mind still functioned. Most of all pray that my husband and I will maintain a loving Christ like testimony to the other family members we are dealing with. So tired!!!
Thanks guy!! Mitzi

Thank you my dear friends.

Thank you so much everyone. I wanted all of you to know that I have been forcing myself to go and see her. I do have to put my clothes in the laundry afterward and have been a bit out of control with hand washing even though I have to wear latex gloves when I'm with her. I can't bring myself to kiss her though even on the forehead.... . Her delirium is at a critical stage and the other night she was throwing her feces around the room!! UGGH!!! This is so hard. I'm having a bit of a mini flare with health related OCD right now but I'm doing my level best to just accept the fears and say "Oh well, whatever.. it is what it is." Last week I thought I might have esophageal cancer due to a lump like feeling in my esophagus which went on for about a week. (Stress induced) then my big toe went totally numb for a couple of days so quite clearly I was coming down with Guilliane Barr syndrome. So absurd!! Doing pretty good today but who knows what the next "fear" will be. Having some panic attacks too which is no big surprise due to seven weeks of continual stress and not enough sleep. Please pray that I will be able to practice what I preach. Thanks again... Mitzi