What is the worst thing....

Maybe some of you won't want to answer this....but I'm just wondering what is one of the worst times in your life, or the worst moment in your life.....??

For me, it was the night my mother died in 2008. Everyone knew it was going to happen, she was 90, in hospital, riddled with cancer, yet when we got the call to go to the hospital.....I lost the plot, and when we actually got to to the hospital... I REALLY lost the plot !!!

? Which was, THE WORST THING

There have truly been so-many
that singling out THE 'worst'
would be a task, of humungous proportions and virtually impossible

Here is one, that must, be somewhere near the TOP of the list


As a married soldier, I am 'confined to camp' for reason of a Nato Military Exercise
[Quicktrain]
and my wife and 4 month old baby son, are at-home without me
My absence from home, had-already been 3-4 nights
and my wife had made it known that Michael would not stop crying
~that she had toothache and was really put out, that I was not there with them
at this, for-her 'bad-time'

When on the fifth day, she did not come to the camp gate for 'our chat'
I jumped the fence at the back of the camp (@ 10pm)
and went home [about 400 yards] to find out 'why'

I found her in a 'drugged stupour' [sleeping tablets]
She didn't respond very well to my shaking her, I tipped salted water down her throat
SLOWLY, in attempt to prevent choking
and made her vomit several times
With no phone in the apartment, I could not call for HELP

I had 'walkie-talkie' contact, with Gunter [a German Civilian]
who worked the railway-crossing near camp
but, he didn't start work until 5.30am
I walked my wife around and around the living-room [keeping her as awake as I could]

When I got Gunter on the walkie talkie and explained my problem
He used his phone to call an ambulance and the Polizei
They took her to hospital and stabilised her

The hospital staff, seemed to take her side and blamed me for not supporting my wife
during her post natal depression

In camp, I was charged with being absent without leave
and despite the mitigatory circumstances, was awarded 28 days in the guardhouse
While still serving this 'time' of incarceration, I was visited, by the wife of the Regimental Sergeant Major
She told me that my wife was in camp, and had reported the death of of our son Michael
She took me in her car to our home and I rushed upstairs to the bedroom
I found Michael [blue] upon the bed
I gave him mouth to mouth and massaged his heart, for about five minutes
The RSM's wife was sobbing behind me... and I screamed "He is gone!!"
She hugged me as the Polizei entered the bedroom

They, had interviewed my wife already and now, required a statement from me

That! was ONE, of the worst experiences of my life

I left the army, a few months later, to try and keep my marriage together
We had two further sons, before my wife began enjoying other men
and we divorced

dave

Mine would be when I allowed another person to control my soul to the point of suicide attempts.
I found out that the woman of my dreams was in love with another woman.

But the Lord WOULD not take me.

I swam out as far as I could and when I started to drawn I was ‘propelled’back to shore by the back of my collar by what felt like a hand pulling me.

Then I tried to shoot myself but the gun would not fire... it never misfired

And at last I turned my Harley into the pavement at 50 MPH with no helmet on.. and woke days later. still alive. and mad as hell at God~

Only by the Glory of God am I here.

Now I take these miracles’ and my life of drinking and abuse and use these as one of Gods messengers’

All Glory to the Father!

So we can turn it around! Amen!

davedajobauk said:

? Which was, THE WORST THING

There have truly been so-many
that singling out THE 'worst'
would be a task, of humungous proportions and virtually impossible

Here is one, that must, be somewhere near the TOP of the list


As a married soldier, I am 'confined to camp' for reason of a Nato Military Exercise
[Quicktrain]
and my wife and 4 month old baby son, are at-home without me
My absence from home, had-already been 3-4 nights
and my wife had made it known that Michael would not stop crying
~that she had toothache and was really put out, that I was not there with them
at this, for-her 'bad-time'

When on the fifth day, she did not come to the camp gate for 'our chat'
I jumped the fence at the back of the camp (@ 10pm)
and went home [about 400 yards] to find out 'why'

I found her in a 'drugged stupour' [sleeping tablets]
She didn't respond very well to my shaking her, I tipped salted water down her throat
SLOWLY, in attempt to prevent choking
and made her vomit several times
With no phone in the apartment, I could not call for HELP

I had 'walkie-talkie' contact, with Gunter [a German Civilian]
who worked the railway-crossing near camp
but, he didn't start work until 5.30am
I walked my wife around and around the living-room [keeping her as awake as I could]

When I got Gunter on the walkie talkie and explained my problem
He used his phone to call an ambulance and the Polizei
They took her to hospital and stabilised her

The hospital staff, seemed to take her side and blamed me for not supporting my wife
during her post natal depression

In camp, I was charged with being absent without leave
and despite the mitigatory circumstances, was awarded 28 days in the guardhouse
While still serving this 'time' of incarceration, I was visited, by the wife of the Regimental Sergeant Major
She told me that my wife was in camp, and had reported the death of of our son Michael
She took me in her car to our home and I rushed upstairs to the bedroom
I found Michael [blue] upon the bed
I gave him mouth to mouth and massaged his heart, for about five minutes
The RSM's wife was sobbing behind me... and I screamed "He is gone!!"
She hugged me as the Polizei entered the bedroom

They, had interviewed my wife already and now, required a statement from me

That! was ONE, of the worst experiences of my life

I left the army, a few months later, to try and keep my marriage together
We had two further sons, before my wife began enjoying other men
and we divorced

dave

Click to expand...

Dave...what a total nightmare for you....I hope you have found happiness since those terrible times. xx

Jessthemess01 said:

Mine would be when I allowed another person to control my soul to the point of suicide attempts.
I found out that the woman of my dreams was in love with another woman.

But the Lord WOULD not take me.

I swam out as far as I could and when I started to drawn I was ‘propelled’back to shore by the back of my collar by what felt like a hand pulling me.

Then I tried to shoot myself but the gun would not fire... it never misfired

And at last I turned my Harley into the pavement at 50 MPH with no helmet on.. and woke days later. still alive. and mad as hell at God~

Only by the Glory of God am I here.

Now I take these miracles’ and my life of drinking and abuse and use these as one of Gods messengers’

All Glory to the Father!

So we can turn it around! Amen!

Click to expand...

Jess....God definatly wants you around....that's pretty clear. But to find out your lady is a lesbian....what a heartache that must have been for you. xx

davedajobauk said:

? Which was, THE WORST THING

There have truly been so-many
that singling out THE 'worst'
would be a task, of humungous proportions and virtually impossible

Here is one, that must, be somewhere near the TOP of the list


As a married soldier, I am 'confined to camp' for reason of a Nato Military Exercise
[Quicktrain]
and my wife and 4 month old baby son, are at-home without me
My absence from home, had-already been 3-4 nights
and my wife had made it known that Michael would not stop crying
~that she had toothache and was really put out, that I was not there with them
at this, for-her 'bad-time'

When on the fifth day, she did not come to the camp gate for 'our chat'
I jumped the fence at the back of the camp (@ 10pm)
and went home [about 400 yards] to find out 'why'

I found her in a 'drugged stupour' [sleeping tablets]
She didn't respond very well to my shaking her, I tipped salted water down her throat
SLOWLY, in attempt to prevent choking
and made her vomit several times
With no phone in the apartment, I could not call for HELP

I had 'walkie-talkie' contact, with Gunter [a German Civilian]
who worked the railway-crossing near camp
but, he didn't start work until 5.30am
I walked my wife around and around the living-room [keeping her as awake as I could]

When I got Gunter on the walkie talkie and explained my problem
He used his phone to call an ambulance and the Polizei
They took her to hospital and stabilised her

The hospital staff, seemed to take her side and blamed me for not supporting my wife
during her post natal depression

In camp, I was charged with being absent without leave
and despite the mitigatory circumstances, was awarded 28 days in the guardhouse
While still serving this 'time' of incarceration, I was visited, by the wife of the Regimental Sergeant Major
She told me that my wife was in camp, and had reported the death of of our son Michael
She took me in her car to our home and I rushed upstairs to the bedroom
I found Michael [blue] upon the bed
I gave him mouth to mouth and massaged his heart, for about five minutes
The RSM's wife was sobbing behind me... and I screamed "He is gone!!"
She hugged me as the Polizei entered the bedroom

They, had interviewed my wife already and now, required a statement from me

That! was ONE, of the worst experiences of my life

I left the army, a few months later, to try and keep my marriage together
We had two further sons, before my wife began enjoying other men
and we divorced

dave

Click to expand...

My goodness Dave...this is an incredible story....big hugs for you and praises for the Lord's saving you.

Mmmmm, I might regret asking this question....

Grannie Annie said:

Mmmmm, I might regret asking this question....

Click to expand...

I am one who does not feel good about answering this question...still have painful times from some things.
Mine are nothing compared to what the guys have shared tho.

Grannie Annie said:

Mmmmm, I might regret asking this question....

Click to expand...

I think this is a good subject Annie, we need to share our stories, it shows us our own hearts and it helps our brothers and sisters.

Dave! all I can say is thank you for sharing your life with us! we need you !

You two guys have brought me to tears.....I've had unhappy times, but not the devastation you have had....

I couldn't concentrate on me....
I lost my job and my home and was on the streets [I didn't care, for MORE]
Some three months later, I met a 'drinker' in a pub
a half-caste South African guy from Durban SA

We exchanged 'life-stories'
and he mentioned there was a room at the house where he lived
£34 per week for the first-floor 'box room' over the staircase

I would need a job... >job centre<
Got an interview for a clerk position with the Social Security
Passed the interview, with no-bother

Red's and I would spend our weekends smoking weed and drinking cider
He would play his guitar and I would play rhythm on tablas
Some 18 months later, Red's 'graduated'.... to ROUGH Farmhouse Cider

It affected his mind [very quickly]
We had several disagreements ~over the months that followed
# He thought his STASH of "Durban Poisons" a genus of marijuana
had been bigger than the amount he had found it to be in
and suspected that I had stolen some
I had my 'own' and would not dream of stealing ~leave alone, from a 'brother'
Eventually he let the matter go.
Then, one night midweek, he wanted to go to the pub for a drink
but I had-to go to work next day, so I didn't want to go
I offered him £5 for a couple of flagons of cider [for himself]
and told him, I would like to have gone... but I needed to keep this job
He returned to the house intoxicated and 'insisted' I join him for a 'smoke'
I flat out refused, as I had already gone to bed
He kicked the door in and rushed me I stepped back and his 18.5 stone
pushed me against the window, the glass broke out
and in the last second, he grabbed me back inside the window
He was very apologetic and had become almost sober

At that moment, I decided to move-away
and next day [after work] I packed my few things together
and took them to my youngest brother's house, while I looked for somewhere else
This proved difficult [for the time it took] and, as he lived in a council housing-estate
I had to be looking, in other areas of the city
He would not 'put me up' in his house because our brother
had already made 'passes' at his wife...
This made him somewhat paranoid

So I slept in his garden shed and used their bathroom when I needed
I had survived 'worse' it was no big-deal
While sat on Paul's front doorstep one Sunday, playing my bamboo flute
a girl walked past the gate several times, ~with her nose in the air and folded arms

I mentioned her to Paul
who then told me what her name was, and that she was a single Mum
and living with her Mum, just a few doors up the road
The girl [then 17+ years] called [over the gate]
that all I needed was a basket and a snake [laughs] and goes on
Next day, Paul knocks on the shed door and passes me a small cardboard box
containing a small latex-rubber snake ... I had met my second wife to be
[some 3.5 years after divorcing the first

Next time I saw her, I remembered that Paul had told me to invite her in for a coffee ["if you want"]
and so I passed that invitation to her_ she turned it down
but then, invited me to coffee at her Mother's .... oh well, okay then

The sun was shining that day \o/

dave

Grannie Annie said:

Mmmmm, I might regret asking this question....

Click to expand...

angelwind said:

I am one who does not feel good about answering this question...
still have painful times from some things.
Mine are nothing compared to what the guys have shared tho.

Click to expand...

Jessthemess01 said:

I think this is a good subject Annie,
we need to share our stories, it shows us our own hearts
and it helps our brothers and sisters.

Dave! all I can say is thank you for sharing your life with us!
we need you !

Click to expand...

Grannie Annie said:

You two guys have brought me to tears.....
I've had unhappy times, but not the devastation you have had....

Click to expand...

You have, all of you, heard 'the advice': "Time to move on with it now" ?

To be sure, anyone that is deeply devoted, and then suffers 'loss'
tends to feel, that the world has then turned against us

If we didn't value the item/person we lost.. it would not affect us so heavily

example: while still courting my first wife... We'd been out around Krefeld
[the nearest City to her home] and I had been taking pictures
with my recently purchased Agfa Isomatic Rapide Camera
[it wasn't cheap] but there we are in the city at a bus-stop
enjoying each other's company, when suddenly the bus arrived

We sat down in the upper deck of the bus laughing and giggling
and I realized the camera was sitting there on a seat in the bus shelter
I said: "oh well" and promptly forgot it

I stopped several times, during the writing of it, to wipe tears from my eyes

I had known nothing of 'post natal depression' until that was mentioned
Had noticed no sign of anything untoward in my wife
not until she had failed to show up [as arranged]
Michael had suffocated on a bed beside our's
She had eventually fallen asleep and found him upon waking again

He had been gone for a great many hours before I got to him

We meet each day one at a time... 'our present reality'
If we carry the past days with us...
our plate is overfilled and far too much to eat
If we add what we imagine will happen inside our future
We become blinded as to the truth... and view everything with tunnel-vision
When the light at the end of the tunnel [hope] is extinguished

My second marriage provided us with six children
We moved into a bigger house and liked it so much, we took out a mortgage on it
and bought it from the council
I erected a perimeter wall around the property
built goldfish pools with waterfalls
built in a concrete patio area and erected sheds in the rear of the garden

At @ 21st year of our marriage, I fell ill with Peripheral Vascular Disease
[became a cripple, almost, overnight]
The wife's Mother became unwell [Liver problems]
so she took to visiting her Mother one day per week [our benefits payday]

Initially, she would take the kids to school, go on to her Mother's
and return in time to pick the kids up frm school
until one day I got a phone call... They, had been out shopping and several buses
had passed by their stop [full up] and she would be late to pick the kids up
So, I shuffled down the road to fetch them
and they so enjoyed pulling Daddy up the hill to our home
that I got roped-n so, to permit her to stay at her Mother's until 8pm

As time rolled on, she would come in at 1am... inebriated
saying: I had a few drinks with Mum ~it was so and so's birthday

Until the next time she did this and fell into the bath, while trying to get to the toilet
and lay there asleep/unconscious... Her clothes soiled, by the 'obvious'
and her manner, when recovered... 'shouted' that we, were over [without words]

Hogan pined for her, I saw him go-down one afternoon and was so weak afterward
I just knew he had had a heart attack from the stress
I phoned her and gave her the news...
she replied, who do you think you ****!!*(*! are ? a ****!!*(*! Vet ?"

I told her, that I had never lied to her,
my word was always good before and, that if she didn't come to see him right away
she would regret it, forever
I had bought Hogan for her as a present
£300 [pedigree] White German Shepherd_ 'Belgarian's White Pearl'
He was just twelve years old... [his mate lasted 16 years]
When she eventually arrived
she spent two hours knelt on the floor
cradling his head upon her lap, when then, he passed away [peacefully]

She stayed, until I had buried him in the garden, before disappearing again
Before she moved-out for good
her boyfriend would pick her up in a car outside, seen by neighbour's
and our children
4 years later, we were divorced [after 30 years of marriage]



I'm still here \o/

dave

My father mentally abused the family all our lives, my mother especially. For as long as I can remember I hated him, I didn't see him for the last 17 months of his life. He was 99 when he died in 2010. But I've never been homeless, I've never been physically abused or sexually abused. I've tried to kill myself several times and been in a few psych wards, but I think that hurt other people more than it hurt me, because I didn't care about myself. When it comes to being hurt, I'm the one who has hurt others...and I'm too ashamed to go into detail about it. Being mentally ill, (severe depression) one does not have the same sense of reality as those who are mentally well. So when ill I have threatened to kill other people. I have frightened members of my family for things I said I would do. As I'm on daily medication now, probably for the rest of my life, I hope I never get that ill again. I live a very quiet life now because I don't want to get myself into situations where I feel stressed and it doesn't take much to stress me and it often happens quite quickly and unexpectedly. I'm never violent, I don't throw things around or destroy things, mainly I just try to destroy myself. Anyway, that's all I can say about it now.

Worst moment is something I can't share or describe on line so describing the second worse moment. When I received an email from my younger daughter where she said never to write her, call her, or bother her again all in capital letters. That was 17 years ago and I am still praying and believing for reconcilation.

fieldlily said:

Worst moment is something I can't share or describe on line so describing the second worse moment. When I received an email from my younger daughter where she said never to write her, call her, or bother her again all in capital letters. That was 17 years ago and I am still praying and believing for reconcilation.

Click to expand...

Fieldlily....I'm in a similar situation with my daughter, except it's only been 8 months for us. Beccy and I have had a love/hate relationship all her life. In November last year it all came to a head (during a phone conversation) I was totally devastated. Thankfully she lives in another state from me, so we're not likely to physically run into each other. I still send my grandsons birthday cards....one little bloke has a birthday on August 2nd...so I'll send him a card and some money. Beccy will probably send a brief email saying he received his card, thanks. And that will be that....!! It will be her birthday in November and I'll send her a card too, like it or not. I'm not sure if I ever want reconciliation with her....I think we are better apart, but I had no idea how much she despised me, nor how she'd twisted things I'd done and said around. I'm not sure if I love her anymore....I really don't know how I feel about her. She doesn't get along with her father (he and I are divorced and both re-married many years ago) she's not even terribly fond of her brother. She seems to only get along with people who have her views in life. She's a great mother to her kids, she's educated herself to university level, she's a recovered alcoholic, sober for about 10 yrs now. In many ways I'm very proud of her. She's very much in love with her husband who's in the Australian Army. She doesn't want me in her life, she's made that perfectly clear so I must accept that, and let her get on with her life.

My son Christopher also lives in another state from her and me. I hear from Chris from time to time via email. I'm not really sure what he thinks of me. Because I've got/had severe depression for many years, it's been hard on the kids, though I was diagnosed after they were adults. I'm sure I was sick long, long before I was officially diagnosed. Chris and I never discuss Beccy, he doesn't like being involved with family conflicts and I can understand that. They are ok in their relationship with each other as long as they are also living in different states from each other. You wouldn't say I had a ... close family !!

I don't know if I'll ever have a relationship with Beccy again, but at the moment I have my life to live and worry about...and I can't stress over someone elses opinion of me.