Trouble becoming a Christian

Malachi88 · May 2, 2012

I am trying to become a Christian. But my living situation is making it very difficult. I had a son before marriage, and I live with his father. The problem with it is, I am trying to stop doing immoral acts. But he doesn't try to support what I am doing. He gets extremely mad when I don't give in. It's causing me a lot of anxiety. I have not slept good in over a month. I wake up to panic attacks. I am so tense my neck and back are constantly sore, and now I have a numb sensation in my face. It's all causing so much stress. I believe its my punishment for all my sins. I have no where else to go. My family is also non supportive with me trying to be a Christian. It's very troubling. I don't make enough to get a place. I feel trapped. I love my boyfriend. But I feel like all I am is an object. It's making me bitter. I have physical issues, that I'm not sure is related to my anxiety. But it gets so bad, some days I feel like I'm dying. I'm scared I may have MS. There is just so much, and I don't have many to talk to. I just wish someone could say something that will bring light to my darkness. I have been under a dark cloud for way to long. It's hard to have faith when nothing is going away. I just want to be a strong mother. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. But I'm lacking all of that.

knw1991 · May 2, 2012

Malachi88 said:
I am trying to become a Christian. But my living situation is making it very difficult. I had a son before marriage, and I live with his father. The problem with it is, I am trying to stop doing immoral acts. But he doesn't try to support what I am doing. He gets extremely mad when I don't give in. It's causing me a lot of anxiety. I have not slept good in over a month. I wake up to panic attacks. I am so tense my neck and back are constantly sore, and now I have a numb sensation in my face. It's all causing so much stress. I believe its my punishment for all my sins. I have no where else to go. My family is also non supportive with me trying to be a Christian. It's very troubling. I don't make enough to get a place. I feel trapped. I love my boyfriend. But I feel like all I am is an object. It's making me bitter. I have physical issues, that I'm not sure is related to my anxiety. But it gets so bad, some days I feel like I'm dying. I'm scared I may have MS. There is just so much, and I don't have many to talk to. I just wish someone could say something that will bring light to my darkness. I have been under a dark cloud for way to long. It's hard to have faith when nothing is going away. I just want to be a strong mother. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. But I'm lacking all of that.

i would like to say im glad and proud that you are trying to become a christian. but may i say, that you dont make yourself a christian, you simply tell God that you want to know Him and live for Him, and you do this by trusting in Jesus Christ for your salvation. Jesus died for us all and once we acknowledge and accept that, which i know you have, God saves us.You are not being punished for your sins, I know God is drawing you to himself and He loves that you want to live for Him, but he alone gives you the power to do it. All you have to do is seek him by prayer, reading the Bible, and joining a church, or finding some Christian friends that can help you get to know God better.
To address the issues you are having with your boyfriend, i would suggest you let him know that you are trying to live for God now, if you have not already, and in regards to your family, thats too bad that they arent accepting of your decision, but just pray that God will open their eyes and heart to who He is and His love for them. Im sorry that you are experiencing this physical pain, maybe you should go to a doctor and explain to them whats going on, i also recommend a christian counselor for you to talk to about your living situation and how you are trying to live for God but are getting opposition from your boyfriend and family. No matter how they treat you just know that you are making the best decision of your life in trying to become a christian, just remember that God does that for you, you just cooperate with Him. He will walk with you through your journey. I know its gets lonely and you feel all alone, and on top of dealing with the pain and physical problems, but I will pray that God will send peace in your home, that He will lift the burdens and pain from you and that you will rest in His safe loving arms. He loves you and your family, I pray that He will also open the hearts of your family and boyfriend and that they will desire to know God too. You are going to be a great role model to your son. God is who defines us all.
If you ever want to talk, i am available, i just finished my semester at school so i will have more time to be on this site. I will be praying for you.

Malachi88 · May 2, 2012

knw1991 said:
i would like to say im glad and proud that you are trying to become a christian. but may i say, that you dont make yourself a christian, you simply tell God that you want to know Him and live for Him, and you do this by trusting in Jesus Christ for your salvation. Jesus died for us all and once we acknowledge and accept that, which i know you have, God saves us.You are not being punished for your sins, I know God is drawing you to himself and He loves that you want to live for Him, but he alone gives you the power to do it. All you have to do is seek him by prayer, reading the Bible, and joining a church, or finding some Christian friends that can help you get to know God better.
To address the issues you are having with your boyfriend, i would suggest you let him know that you are trying to live for God now, if you have not already, and in regards to your family, thats too bad that they arent accepting of your decision, but just pray that God will open their eyes and heart to who He is and His love for them. Im sorry that you are experiencing this physical pain, maybe you should go to a doctor and explain to them whats going on, i also recommend a christian counselor for you to talk to about your living situation and how you are trying to live for God but are getting opposition from your boyfriend and family. No matter how they treat you just know that you are making the best decision of your life in trying to become a christian, just remember that God does that for you, you just cooperate with Him. He will walk with you through your journey. I know its gets lonely and you feel all alone, and on top of dealing with the pain and physical problems, but I will pray that God will send peace in your home, that He will lift the burdens and pain from you and that you will rest in His safe loving arms. He loves you and your family, I pray that He will also open the hearts of your family and boyfriend and that they will desire to know God too. You are going to be a great role model to your son. God is who defines us all.
If you ever want to talk, i am available, i just finished my semester at school so i will have more time to be on this site. I will be praying for you.

Thank you for your prayers. I greatly appreciate them!

HolySpiritWOF2 · May 3, 2012

praying for you Malachi88.... you are very precious to HIM.... HE is gracious and merciful.... HE has answers and provisions for you.... HE won't leave you or forsake you....

precious sister.... GOD will help you.... HE is not punishing you.... HE understands EVERYTHING.... HE knows EVERYTHING....

Jeremiah 29:11-14....New King James Version (NKJV)
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity;

1 Corinthians 10:13....New King James Version (NKJV)
13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

these are 2 scriptures that you can believe GOD for.... HE knows that you want to come out of the situation you are in.... you can pray and ask GOD to make a way out for you.... and bring you into the good place HE promises you....

after you have asked HIM to help you.... everytime you think of the situation you are in.... you can turn to HIM.... and tell HIM you believe HIM.... you can thank HIM for HIS WORD/promise.... and thank HIM that HE is showing you.... and bringing you.... out of the bad.... and into the good HE has planned for you....

HE has very good plans for you.... praying for you to see/understand.... believe.... receive.... GOD'S best.... love... prayers... peace... blessings...

:hug:

SplendidTree · May 5, 2012

Do you attend church? Sometimes churches can help people find places to stay or rooms for rent and things of that nature.

Usually when you are trying to live a Christian life people take notice and they aren't always supportive of this. It is tough but you are a light in a dark place.

Jesus understands and I don't think he expects us to ever be perfect or just change over night. He sees your heart and intentions and if you really are trying.

Praying for you and your family.

Malachi88 · May 8, 2012

Thank you all for your prayers. Please continue to pray God lights a way for me. More than anything that I see the light.

SplendidTree · May 10, 2012

Praying now!

jusme · May 20, 2012

Dear Malachi 88, I will pray for you. Also, You don't have to TRY to become a Christian. If you have never trusted Jesus as your personal savior, you can do that right now. Just a simple prayer from your heart is all that's required. One such as: "Dear Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner, please forgive me all my sins and save my soul. I put my faith in your finished work on the cross and in your bodily resurrection. i know I can do nothing to earn salvation, but acknowledge it is a gift from you, free to anyone whom asks."

Then the Holy spirit will reside in your heart forever.

That doesn't mean you wont ever have sin in your life again, or your situation will automatically take a turn for the better.... But, the Lord will be with you through whatever life brings your way from then on! And when you feel your cant go on, He will carry you!

Daughter of His · May 20, 2012

Praying for the Lord to guide you daily. He is but a whisper away. When you pray, He hears your every cry or concern. His love for you is beyond human understanding. God bless all of your efforts sister!!!

jusme · May 21, 2012

jusme said:
Dear Malachi 88, I will pray for you. Also, You don't have to TRY to become a Christian. If you have never trusted Jesus as your personal savior, you can do that right now. Just a simple prayer from your heart is all that's required. One such as: "Dear Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner, please forgive me all my sins and save my soul. I put my faith in your finished work on the cross and in your bodily resurrection. i know I can do nothing to earn salvation, but acknowledge it is a gift from you, free to anyone whom asks."

Then the Holy spirit will reside in your heart forever.

That doesn't mean you wont ever have sin in your life again, or your situation will automatically take a turn for the better.... But, the Lord will be with you through whatever life brings your way from then on! And when you feel your cant go on, He will carry you!

I would also advise you going to a doctor about your panic attacks. There is no shame in hurting!!

May God bless you.

jusme · May 21, 2012

...and dear, I promise you God is not punishing you for any of your sins!!! He (God) Punished his Son Jesus Christ for all sins. Yours, mine, everyone's. I agree that we can bring problems on ourselves by making bad choices... but, as a child of God, through Jesus, God remembers your sins no more! They have been paid for, in full, by Christ finished work on the cross! I know all this may or may not help you in your situation... but NOBODY understands like Jesus! Do whatever you can to get help. :pray:

Malachi88 · Jul 21, 2012

I really needed to hear that! But I feel like I am getting punished from sins that I made over and over again, knowing that it is wrong. It makes me ashamed of myself. And I believe it is what is causing my panic attacks and anxiety.

Malachi88 · Jul 21, 2012

Also I have seen a Dr about my anxiety. I've been on a med for almost a month. It's isn't working. I think I might have hyper thyroid. Which mimics stress. If you could..please pray that I find answers to my health and whatever it is will pass so that I can live a long healthy life with my son.

nessa9522 · Jul 26, 2012

May I please tell u a little of my story. When I gave my life to God I was suffering from really bad anxiety and depression. I thought I had so many different diseases, I had e rays, cat scan, MRI, and my heart checked several times thinking something was wrong with me. It was all do to stress . Your body reacts to stress. It may hurt u physically. I finally just started trusting in God more. I placed all my worries in His hands. I literally would get on my knees and worship him through panic attacks... My husband was not saved at the time and was I to drugs and alcohol. I kept pray g gor him and we r now both serving the Lord. Pray for your boyfriend for God to remove any blinders over Hus eyes to see the truth. Pray for guidance. It's nit hard to become a Christian all u have to do is accept and believe that Jeaus died on the cross fir your sins and God raised Him from the dead so that u may be forgiven, acknowledge u r a sinner and ask for forgiveness. Salvation is not something earned, it's something given to u freely by the grace of God.

americanvet · Jul 26, 2012

My question might not be the answer but I have to ask it. Have the two of you thought about getting married? Not to avoid the sin, but because you must care for each other you have children and live together. If the two of you care for one another and want to be together then why not marriage.

Going to a doctor for your medical problems is a must! Take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. For your spiritual health I suggest a three fold approach

1. Pray to God.
2. Read Gods Word (the Bible). If you wondering were to start try 1 John.
3. Get involved with a community of believers.

While doing all of these continually ask God for guidance and opportunity. I wish you luck!

Malachi88 · Jul 27, 2012

I have. But m if we get married I will loose my insurance and ha e to join his. The problem with that is I have a lot of health concerns that need looked into. He wouldn't have for it. He doesn't like how I see the doctor so much already. He has already said we can't get married because of it. Which leads me to believe there is no love on his end. Or he would care for my well being. It sounds selfish to me. But I don't want to be mean, or angry toward him. All I can do is pray for him. However, I have left him recently. It has been extremely hard. Because I don't have a stable living situation. Makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong as a mother. I just really want to set things right with God, and also find myself again. I feel I aloud him to control so much of me I lost touch with the real world, and being a person. Rather than an object. Prayers would be greatly appreciated. I definitely need a lot of strength to get through. Thank you for your advice. It's funny the steps you mentioned have recently helped me.

Rose2 · Aug 6, 2012

Malachi.. just a few days ago I felt really stressed, over all the bad things I've done over the years and feelings that I was unworthy and that God would never forgive me, swamped me. I went to him in prayer and I heard him, in a quiet inner voice, say to me.. read Psalm 51.

Dwylcs · Aug 14, 2012

Just adding my 2 cents worth to all the supportive posts here.

This portion of Scripture came to me awhile back - "making request with joy" Philippians 1:4
I was in need of a healing and confirmation, and in each case I was exhorted to ask in joy in one way or another.
It's only when I encouraged myself that the prayers were answered, even singing to myself.

A few positive things I've noticed about you, which may help.
1 You are willing - this is very acceptable to God.
(a lot of people don't care what they do)
2 I think you obviously care enough to write on this board, and that you want to do the right thing.
3 You care enough to still love your boyfriend even though it is not as reciprocal as you'd like.
Thus must be many more

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

Praying

NeedGodsHelp · Aug 17, 2012

Malachi, praying hard for you

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