I don't know what to say really. I'm so sick of having some of these bad thoughts in my head and I WANT THEM OUT!!!!!!! Also, I hear all these beautiful testimonies, amazing testimonies!!! And, I want to expirance one too! But, I feel selfish. I mean, how dare I pray to God and ask Him for that? I feel like He reveals Himself so much to me, and I'm to blind too see and then I feel horrible and don't want to ask Him because I feel selfish and think He'll be angry with me! I'm crying and I'm mad at myself for crying! God does so much for me and how DARE I ask for something? I've asked Him before to reveal Himself to me and I think He does but of course like 8 months later I ask Him to reveal Himself to me again because of creeping doubts. Im sick of myself for doubting! I here all these people saying they feel a crazy warmth or hear Him speak to them! I want to experience this, but asking God for this makes me feel selfish and like a doubter. Like, I feel He will be upset with me if I ask Him to let me experience something like the beautiful testimonies of Him speaking to them or feeling the Holy Spirit or whatever. I love God so much and I read my Bible and I pray to Him every day, but I just don't want to ask Him for anything because I feel like He already does so much for me and it's not fair to Him for Him to do anything else for me! I don't even deserve a experience like that because I still sin. I still loose my temper sometimes and even though I'm 16, that's still not an excuse. I don't know what to do, I want to ask Him but I also don't want Him to be mad at me! I'd rather just not asking Him for anything and let Him be happy then ask Him for things when He already does so much for me and have Him be upset or angry. What should I do? I need some Christian Advice! Like, I would love to pray to God now and tell Him(though He already knows) but it's not fair to Him to ask Him a second or third time in my life, whichever! I don't want to be jealous of the people who have amazing experiences and relationships with God...and still I have doubts that creep in my mind and make me angry, I'm afraid I'll annoy or anger Him if I keep asking Him for things when He does so much... just please help me out! I don't want to ask you to pray for me because there is other people who need it way more then me, and I don't want to seem selfish to God. I just want to make Him happy!! I guess in all, I'm scared to ask Him to speak to me or feel the so physically strong warmth and love of Him like testimonies and anything but he has giving me so much when some people have so little, it's not fair to Him and others and it makes me selfish, but I don't want doubts because God doesn't like doubters but I dont want doubting thoughts! I'd rather doubt and have Him not be mad or to lose patience with me rather then to not doubt but have Him upset with me because I asked for a revealing when it's not fair to Him or others! I'm so confused!!! I just want to make Him happy!!!!
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