Love verses discipline.

JeremyI

Newbie
Nov 18, 2011
22
1
✟7,649.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I personally am a person that believes in tough love. And in my walk with Christ I bear witness of the same, and I thank my GOD for every minute of it.


yet i get confused at times when it comes to this brotherly love thing.

For many times, someone asks something [a favor ow whatever], with quite a spirit of entitlement. The Word says love others as you do yourself. Favoring tough love, I would say its best to get them back in line, brining reality to such perceptions.

Yet I do acknowledge it may cause strife, so maybe just do what they ask?

Yet I feel like im really tightening the yoke of attachment to the carnal by doing so, which deep in my heart i feel is wrong.

Opinions?
 
G

gideons300

Guest
I personally am a person that believes in tough love. And in my walk with Christ I bear witness of the same, and I thank my GOD for every minute of it.


yet i get confused at times when it comes to this brotherly love thing.

For many times, someone asks something [a favor ow whatever], with quite a spirit of entitlement. The Word says love others as you do yourself. Favoring tough love, I would say its best to get them back in line, brining reality to such perceptions.

Yet I do acknowledge it may cause strife, so maybe just do what they ask?

Yet I feel like im really tightening the yoke of attachment to the carnal by doing so, which deep in my heart i feel is wrong.

Opinions?
Jeremy, i can only speak of my own experiences here but I was a hard legalistic Christian for many years (for my God was a hard and demanding God) and may have been as you described yourself. When I finally had my breaking point, realizing that I could not walk the walk, it was then that Jesus told me "I knew you could not do it all along, but YOU did not know."

Once broken though, the floodgates opened and as I was forgiven much, seeing clearly the wretchedness of my fleshly efforts to serve him, I found I loved much now...with His love inside me.

Was this tough love on God's part to NOT reveal Himself? I think it was. But it was ALWAYS for my benefit that he did not answer as I wanted. The lesson here? Tough love has its place IF we are really walking in love and concern for those seeking for us. But there is a false tough love that is just irritated with them, and not really genuine love for their souls at all, if you get my drift, and this will not lead those to life, but rather push them away...and of course, conveniently out of our hair.

We need to be sure we are walking in real love, not just words or even nice outer actions, and then obey what God whispers in our ear. The results will be what God desires, guaranteed. Those who ask from us though, they MUST feel our concern is genuine for them, no matter how the answer comes because they can pick up a phony love a mile away, amen?

Blessings, Gideon
 
Upvote 0

1watchman

Overseer
Supporter
Oct 9, 2010
6,039
1,226
Washington State
✟358,358.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I personally am a person that believes in tough love. And in my walk with Christ I bear witness of the same, and I thank my GOD for every minute of it.


yet i get confused at times when it comes to this brotherly love thing.

For many times, someone asks something [a favor ow whatever], with quite a spirit of entitlement. The Word says love others as you do yourself. Favoring tough love, I would say its best to get them back in line, brining reality to such perceptions.

Yet I do acknowledge it may cause strife, so maybe just do what they ask?

Yet I feel like im really tightening the yoke of attachment to the carnal by doing so, which deep in my heart i feel is wrong.

Opinions?

Discipline in the Church is only the responsibility of the elders, with support from Godly saints. The local assembly should see that no heresy or other ungodly things are allowed among the gathered saints of God to dishonor God and defile the Lord's Table. As individual saints we need to show love, care, and example, as good Shepherds of the Lord, and share Godly advice in a spirit of love.
 
Upvote 0

JeremyI

Newbie
Nov 18, 2011
22
1
✟7,649.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
much truth in your post.

i sense at times it may be me being irritated with them. Yet it becomes hard to go against such a thought because it then [justifies] itself by pointing out the vain demand, or unthankful request by that person. Urging me to instead [not give them what they want], making them [fast] from it, in a way. A path Ive had to walk in spirit many of times in the past year, that has led to much wisdom.

I then get caught into a web of reasoning, such as this [fasting road] is a much more difficult road to walk them through, i start to question my motives whether its really out of love or irritation, then comes the issue of strife--

Through the above you can start to percieve what I go through mentally, trying to reason/philosophize the Godly thing to do. Many times as I carry out what I reasoned to be true, soon getting slammed by a feeling of hopelessness I thought I overcame [through my spiritual fortess I thought was inpenetrable].

Should I just be led by the Spirit, instead of seeking cut and clear answers?
 
Upvote 0

JeremyI

Newbie
Nov 18, 2011
22
1
✟7,649.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Discipline in the Church is only the responsibility of the elders, with support from Godly saints. The local assembly should see that no heresy or other ungodly things are allowed among the gathered saints of God to dishonor God and defile the Lord's Table. As individual saints we need to show love, care, and example, as good Shepherds of the Lord, and share Godly advice in a spirit of love.

These are minor issues, that I notice [spiritually] have parallels with major character issues/disputes in the persons life.

So [in my thoughts] it grieves me to carry out their request, seeing the bigger picture.
 
Upvote 0
G

gideons300

Guest
much truth in your post.

i sense at times it may be me being irritated with them. Yet it becomes hard to go against such a thought because it then [justifies] itself by pointing out the vain demand, or unthankful request by that person. Urging me to instead [not give them what they want], making them [fast] from it, in a way. A path Ive had to walk in spirit many of times in the past year, that has led to much wisdom.

I then get caught into a web of reasoning, such as this [fasting road] is a much more difficult road to walk them through, i start to question my motives whether its really out of love or irritation, then comes the issue of strife--

Through the above you can start to percieve what I go through mentally, trying to reason/philosophize the Godly thing to do. Many times as I carry out what I reasoned to be true, soon getting slammed by a feeling of hopelessness I thought I overcame [through my spiritual fortess I thought was inpenetrable].

Should I just be led by the Spirit, instead of seeking cut and clear answers?
Through your spiritual fortress? I thought Jesus was our strong and mighty tower that we can run into and find safety. LOL.

I opt for being led of the spirit, always. Of course we may make mistakes as we attempt to listen, but how will we ever learn to discern if we do not trust God in us?

Far too often, at least it seems to me, we lean on our own understanding, our own wisdom, our own logic, basically what we just ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, rather than simply eating from the tree of life, letting our hearts reign and our minds take a breather.

Does that make sense to you?

Blessings,

Gideon
 
Upvote 0

JeremyI

Newbie
Nov 18, 2011
22
1
✟7,649.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Through your spiritual fortress? I thought Jesus was our strong and mighty tower that we can run into and find safety. LOL.

I opt for being led of the spirit, always. Of course we may make mistakes as we attempt to listen, but how will we ever learn to discern if we do not trust God in us?

Far too often, at least it seems to me, we lean on our own understanding, our own wisdom, our own logic, basically what we just ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, rather than simply eating from the tree of life, letting our hearts reign and our minds take a breather.

Does that make sense to you?

Blessings,

Gideon

Be assured Gideon He is. Im just trying to explain my line of thinking before to you. Trying to increase mine own knowledge and wisdom, I realized i was building a [tower of babel].

However when I was broken I realized that I can do nothing of myself, but to lean on Him. What ive always thought was a strength of mine [reasoning and intellect] has now turned out to be a cross, as I follow the heart and learn to quiet the mind.

Hmm im seeing maybe I just follow my heart whenever im faced with such scenerios, and trust God has a plan in place, that i cannot yet percieve, far above my own?
 
Upvote 0

JeremyI

Newbie
Nov 18, 2011
22
1
✟7,649.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Dear Jeremy. I do not quite understand what is meant by tough love, but Jesus told us to " love others (our neighbour) as we love ourselves." God can see our hearts, and God will judge us accordingly. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

Hey Emmy. By tough love, its a love many may initially perceive as mean, but in the long run shows a greater love. But is meant to teach the person a hard lesson. Compare a mothers love verses a fathers love.
 
Upvote 0

thomasalias

Well-Known Member
Mar 12, 2012
1,000
31
✟1,265.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Tough love and Loving others as ouselves, maybe this scripture can be helpful.


Jud 1:21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
Jud 1:22 And of some have compassion, making a difference:
Jud 1:23 And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.

2Ti 4:2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
2Ti 4:3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Emmy

Senior Veteran
Feb 15, 2004
10,199
939
✟50,995.00
Faith
Salvation Army
Love versus discipline. Dear Jeremy. Galatians, chapter 6, verse 7-8, tells us that we always reap what we sow. Tough Love sounds rather harsh, and I sincerely believe , that God wants our kind and considerate love.
It is wonderful that God sees our hearts, and God will know what we really mean. We get love for love, and tough love for tough love. I rather have God`s Love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.
 
Upvote 0

thomasalias

Well-Known Member
Mar 12, 2012
1,000
31
✟1,265.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
The love for God

Joh_21:15 Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.

1Pe_2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:

Rev_3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

1Jn_5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

1Pe 4:1 Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;
1Pe 4:2 That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God.
1Pe 4:3 For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:
 
Upvote 0

thomasalias

Well-Known Member
Mar 12, 2012
1,000
31
✟1,265.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Eph 5:1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
Eph 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
Eph 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
Eph 5:4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
Eph 5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Eph 5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
Eph 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
Eph 5:8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
Eph 5:9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth)
Eph 5:10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
Eph 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
Eph 5:12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
Eph 5:13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
Eph 5:14 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
Eph 5:15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Eph 5:16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Eph 5:17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
Eph 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
 
Upvote 0

stormdancer0

Do not be so open-minded that your brain falls out
Apr 19, 2008
3,554
356
USA
✟14,304.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Married
Jesus said, "Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

When someone asks for something I'm not sure I should give them, I will tell them that I will pray about it. I do, and obey the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Tough love is Biblical love, sometimes. In every thing there is a season. Sometimes it is more merciful to give, and sometimes it is more merciful to hold back. This is especially true when what they want will enable them to continue to sin.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums