What should a husband say if his wife asks the question?

He should say "no the outfit doesn't make you look fat, the fact that you are so overweight makes you look fat". Of course he should dial 911 and ask for an ambulance immediately before saying it.

The truth is always the best answer. If the wife does not want to hear the truth, she shouldn't be asking the question. Of course, that doesn't mean the truth has to be said in a hurtful way.

Autumnleaf said:

Does this make me look fat? Should he lie or tell the truth? What if the truth is her fat makes her look fat?

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I need to go take the dog outside to do her business.

I wouldn't say "yes", I would say "well, why don't you try on that other shirt/dress, etc." I would want to know whether it didn't look good, but being kind about it

I don't really get this. I can tell if an outfit is flattering on me or not. If I were to ask that question, I wouldn't be asking because I really don't know but because I'm fishing for a compliment. LOL. That's why I don't ask it. I can tell when I look good or notsomuch, and I don't want my h to feel backed into a corner, scrambling for the perfect thing to say on the spot!

Try telling your wife that she always looks beautiful to you no matter what she's wearing. She's a big girl and can figure out what to wear on her own. She probably just wants to know that she looks good to you. JMHO.

dreamer1982 said:

I don't really get this. I can tell if an outfit is flattering on me or not. If I were to ask that question, I wouldn't be asking because I really don't know but because I'm fishing for a compliment. LOL. That's why I don't ask it. I can tell when I look good or notsomuch, and I don't want my h to feel backed into a corner, scrambling for the perfect thing to say on the spot!

Try telling your wife that she always looks beautiful to you no matter what she's wearing. She's a big girl and can figure out what to wear on her own. She probably just wants to know that she looks good to you. JMHO.

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QFT

I agree it is asked when you really want a compliment as you know what looks good on you.

I agree with Dreamer..I dont think that question is litteral..I think she may mean is this unflattering on me..possibly even DUE to her own concerns about her weight..but still she is lookign for reasurrence IMHO more so than evedn a compliment.

I never ask that question ..or any similar..unless I LITTERAALY need to know something..like "when I stand in this light look and tell me if you can see through this..I ask becasue I CANT see for myself..

I thnk I did have a dress one time..that I asked my husband if it made me look pregnant..it wasnt becasue I was pregnant OR fat..just eh way the dress was cut to me at certain angles I felt liek it made me look pregngnt..but I asked him becasue I thought maybe I was being a lot more critical than a casual onlooker might..(veses me who might be scrutinizing myself)..

Anyway the "doe sthis dress/outfit" make me look fat I think is a HIGHLY over stated stereotype..I dotn think most women ever ask that let alone routinely..Like Dreamer said women arent stupid..they know clothes cant litterally "make them look fat" they can however excentuate parts of your body more or less and that may be more along the lines of what she means..Like in my example of do I looke pregnant in this dress..

Dallas

I agree it is asked when you really want a compliment as you know what looks good on you.

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I agree..but I think some women(and men TBH) want to know if their spouse thinks they look good in that particular color..style ..etc..One time my husband told me (voluntarily) ..is that navy you are wearing..I said ..yep..he said ..you look really good in navy you shoudl wear that more often I dont usually see you wearing that color..THATS the kind of feedback a woman seeks (or at least is happy to hear)..I never forgot he said that..and my husband is not one who is short on compliments to me by any means..that was just so specific and more narrowed down than YOUR HOT!

Dallas

Even though the question is sometimes used in jest (there's a commercial on TV about just how "honest" Honest Abe was when his wife asked him that exact question), it is still asked by women. Even if none of the women on here have asked it themselves.

I have asked it. Sometimes the lighting in our house isn't all that good and the extra "shadows" might throw off my image, or my old eyes are just not seeing as good as they used to. Normally though, if I want to be told that I look good even if I don't I'll throw in the statement "because I'm not feeling very sure of myself today.........." That statement lets my husband know that I need reassurance and not the blunt truth.

I guess Im differnt that way..I dont want to be told I look good even if I dont..I hate games..and thats a game to me..its not true anyway so why tippy around the tulips I'de rather not even discuss it at that point and let it not even be about my looks..Havign said that ..Im all for "I am still ATTRACTED to you even when you are not all dolled up..or look tired..or have a breakout..or somethign about your body has changed that YOU dont like..thats different than saying you look great even if you know at the moment you arent exibiting your normal shiny physical SELF! LOL!!!

Dallas

dallasapple said:

I guess Im differnt that way..I dont want to be told I look good even if I dont..I hate games..and thats a game to me..its not true anyway so why tippy around the tulips I'de rather not even discuss it at that point and let it not even be about my looks..Havign said that ..Im all for "I am still ATTRACTED to you even when you are not all dolled up..or look tired..or have a breakout..or somethign about your body has changed that YOU dont like..thats different than saying you look great even if you know at the moment you arent exibiting your normal shiny physical SELF! LOL!!!

Dallas

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In my opinion the asking of the question in the first place is frequently a game, one the man litterally can't win at.

Autumnleaf said:

Does this make me look fat? Should he lie or tell the truth? What if the truth is her fat makes her look fat?

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Tell her she is beautiful to you. The honest answer would be that no it does not make her look fat. If she's fat then the dress aint making her look fat is it? Whether you want to tell her that she is fat is up to you. But are you ready for the consequences of that? Is it loving, kind, necessary? Wouldn't that topic be better handled at another time. Usually when a wife is fat the husband is too, maybe you could suggest you two go a jog?

Autumnleaf said:

Does this make me look fat? Should he lie or tell the truth? What if the truth is her fat makes her look fat?

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He should treat her the same way he would want to be treated if he is fat and asking her how he looks.

I wonder how this one would go over, "Fat, but in a good way."

I like this one, "Maybe you should wear something else." It tells her what she is wanting to know without saying she looks fat.

Honestly, I don't ask.
I think that I have a pretty good fashion sense, so I feel pretty confidant when I put something on.
Rarely do I ask for his opinion - and the only time he'll interject with a negative comment is when he thinks I'm lookin' a bit too smexy.
That bothers him.

Peace,
-Niff

Blind post.

It depends on the husband, and it depends on the wife.

My wife and I have been married a long time and I've learned a lot about tact, etc. I would not tell her she looked fat. If I thought that another outfit was more flattering I might say, "You know that's nice but this other one is really nice too." Whether at one end of the continuum if my wife was obese or on the other end of the continuum, perhaps she was not feeling secure about something she was wearing, I would not say, "you look fat." I would be kind and try to help.

Romanseight2005 said:

Blind post.

It depends on the husband, and it depends on the wife.

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This is the right answer to all questions asked here