Here's a blog of mine:
Now I know Why
Posted 20th July 2011 at 02:08 PM by
BFine
[SIZE=-1]When we still lived on the Sunshine Coast and attended church with a man who had no feet...
I use to wonder why it seemed so important for us to get to know him and to make him feel accepted and appreciated... well now I know why.
I use to wonder why it was so important that I learned to be a nursing assistant and learned to do physical therapy exercises... well now I know why.
I use to wonder why God spent so much time "working" on me and making me feel like I didn't belong in NC all my life... well now I know why.
I use to wonder why it was so easy for me to spend time with those who are hurting/sick... well now I know why.
I use to wonder why it was so important for me to have a Bible and to grow deeper in faith... well now I know why.
Nobody could tell me these things, I had to learn them so they could be real for me.
*What happened to us: In Nov. of 2009 my husband had an industrial accident that lead to
his left leg being amputated...barely 5 months later I had to have a hysterectomy due to an
over-growth of fibroid tumors.
I had a procedure done several years earlier to stop them from
growing but the procedure didn't work and my tumors grew -- one tumor(the largest one) grew
through my uterus and up into my abdomen! I was in misery and couldn't hardly leave home because
I would hemorrhage when I stood up!
It was a very difficult decision to make since I'd never been pregnant...no children.
I went through all the emotions...I questioned God, myself...it was not a good time for me at all!
I kept talking to God about all this stuff...and in talking to Him, my emotions finally settled down.
I wasn't a wreck any more... I learn to see the goodness in life and in God. It hadn't went away...it had been there all along...it was my focus that was off.
I learned to live one day at a time...each day I reminded myself of this scripture -- "This is the day the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it."
I didn't actually "feel" that verse for a long time but it came to me gently....I was outside one day and I found myself admiring the mountains, flowers and the sun...it's hard to explain, but it just dawned on me....how nice they are.
Now I Know Why-- Many of the answers didn't come to be known for many years--or decades...like you I had thought God didn't answer my prayers.
Instead--
God was preparing me, guiding me and maturing me in the faith.
Life is hard...and I would learn just how hard things could be.
We live in a world that is deeply affected by sin...the consequences of sin(s) is
far-reaching. Everything is affected....everything.
You prayed and it seems you got "nothing" for your efforts.
You are grieved by the loss of your baby, this is a loss no woman wants.
You will grieve, be angry, be confused...a whole bunch of emotions all churning
inside of you. Learn to express those emotions in a healthy way, find a counselor
to work with you and your husband.
The storms in this life can be over-whelming dear sister in Christ if you are wrapped
up in those storms and not seeking help/guidance/prayer from people who have
been there and come through those storms.
Do you have prayer partners who are supporting you and your husband
at this time? If not, please request that people at church to be praying
for you all. Or seek grief counseling for parents who have lost a child-- I believe you both need this.
Keep going into the throne room...
Tell it all to God...He isn't a wimp, he can take His child being angry/mad
because you lost your child.
Pour out your heart to Him...just like Jesus did.
Remember-- Jesus prayed fervently...so much so that his sweat became drops of blood!
His "fleshly" part didn't want to die!
Just like you didn't want your baby to die...Jesus "warred" against his flesh.
(You are warring against your flesh too.)
Jesus fighting against his "flesh".,.,
[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]Read here; found in Luke chapter 22: [/SIZE]Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.
And being in an
agony he prayed more earnestly: and his
sweat was as it were great
drops of blood falling down to the ground. (Even though he got some strengthening Jesus was still in agony and he prayed even more earnestly...he's still struggling!) You
know this type of struggle...you wanted your child but it wasn't to be. I don't have all the answers for you but I know who can help heal your broken heart --God.
No matter what happens to you in this life, God can get you through it.
The scheme of the enemy is to make you think God doesn't care or that He is playing
games with you. God ain't playing no game. The only one playing games is the devil.
Job went through a lot...he kept his faith and didn't curse God.
God didn't allow the devil to kill Job.
Job suffered greatly and that shows me no matter what "life" throws at me
a person can keep their faith. And I also see that Job kept talking/praying to God
through it all. He even rebuked his wife for telling him to curse God and die!
Yes, Job's children died but they are with the Lord... living in paradise.
This is how Job has double the children...(20 in all)...10 were born to him again and
he lived to see them and several generations of offspring.
Important keys: Keep talking and praying to God.
Get the right people praying for you -- AKA mature Christians...prayer warriors!
Learn to express your grief in the right way...don't keep your emotions bottled up.
Talk to your husband - let him talk to you.
Learn to pray for each other--do it when your spouse is present and pray out loud.
Find one thing each day to do that helps someone else...no matter how small it is.
Drink from that cup...
Jesus drank from the "bitter cup"... he prayed fervently for that cup to pass from him
but that's NOT what was to happen.
Jesus humbled himself, surrendered to His Father's Will and died on a cross to redeem us from the curse.
We will share much with Jesus, we share the suffering, the victories, the good/bad times etc.
In this world you will have tribulation, take heart Jesus overcame the world.
------------------------------------------
Praise time--- Sing it until it is real for you.
At times like this YOU have to lead your "heart"
back to the straight and narrow path.
I Will Rise (Chris Tomlin)
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
-- You will rise--things are "dark" for you now...
live your life one day at a time and ask the Lord
to help restore to you His peace and joy.
It is my wish/prayer that you will one day rise
up again and be a blessing to someone else who
is hurting.
Lord bless this dear lady and her husband as they grieve
the loss of their child.
Bring healing/restoration into their lives.
Turn this situation around so that it will not be something
that causes them to turn from you or each other.
Father God, dry their tears, ease their suffering--send
your comfort to them, it is needed so much.
Restore the peace, joy and love into their lives and home.
Guard them against any scheme of the enemy to derail
them from following you.
Bring mature Christians into their lives to support/encourage/assist
them as they work toward healing.
In Jesus' name--Amen.