We live in a society saturated with sexual innuendo, visual images, etc., and we become immune to all of this and think if someone doesn't want to marry someone and wants to be celebate or if people even in marriage practice marital relations in the proper way, they are considered nuts. This is the state of the world. Here is some info from the Orthodox POV:
Sex, or sexual relations, includes not only sexual intercourse, but also other sexual activity, even to the extent of hand-holding or kissing. In order to understand this, sex must be understood not only as a matter for the body, but also as a matter for the mind.
God created mankind with a sexual appetite. "[A] man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). In its proper context of marriage, sex can be a good thing.
"Sexual relations within marriage are holy and blessed by God. Saint Gregory the Theologian says: 'Are you not yet married in the flesh? Do not fear this consecration; you are pure even after marriage' (Oration on Holy Baptism, quoted by George Gabriel, You May Call My Words Immodest, p. 3). The sexual union of man and woman in Christian marriage is sanctified, set apart, hallowed, sacred, holy. And it is good. At the same time—and I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough—the Church teaches us clearly that sex is not the essence of Christian marriage."[1]
Sex provides an opportunity for a married couple to become intimate with one another.
"The goal of sex in marriage is spiritual union. Through the joining of two physical bodies in marital love comes a unique oneness of soul. Saint John Chrysostom instructs us: 'Their intercourse accomplishes the joining of their bodies, and they are made one, just as when perfume is mixed with ointment" (12th Homily on Colossians).[2]
"Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband" (I Cor. 7:3).
"Sexual relations provide an opportunity for the development of a spirit of martyrdom. This is the type of martyrdom that exhibits self-denial and submission to the other."[3]
It is also important when speaking about sexual relations among spouses to speak about the product of this conjugal union. The creation of progeny is a natural consequence of marriage. There is a direct link between marital relations and childbearing. Procreation is the fruit of the union of marriage and an expression of man's participation in God's creative work. St. John Chrysostom, in reference to the mystery of the conjugal union, says:
"And how become they one flesh? As if you should take the purest part of gold, and mingle it with the other gold; so in truth here also the women as it were receiving the richest part fused by pleasure, nourishes it and cherishes it, and throughout contributing her own share, restores it back to the man. And the child is a sort of bridge so that the three become on flesh, the child connecting, on either side, each to each… What then? When there is not child, will they not be two? Not so, for their coming together has this effect; it diffuse and commingles the bodies of both. And as one who has poured ointment into oil has made the whole one; so in truth is it also here" (St. John Chrysostom, On Marriage and Family Life).
St. John Chrysostom also says, "He created one from one, and again these two he makes one and thus He makes one; so that even now man is born from one. For a woman and a man are not two but one man" (St. John Chrysostom, On Marriage and Family Life). With this great gift of childbearing, man becomes the donor of life. St. Clement of Alexandria describes the progeny of man as "man's creation in God's image."
In the Old Testament, sex for the purpose of procreation was emphasized, as children were evidence of God's blessing on a marriage. However, procreation is not the reason for marriage. "Procreation is not the only purpose of sex in marriage, but sex and procreation go hand in hand."[4]
"Saint John Chrysostom writes: 'If for a certain period, you and your wife have abstained by agreement, perhaps for a time of prayer and fasting, come together again for the sake of your marriage. You do not need procreation as an excuse. It is not the chief reason for marriage. Neither is it necessary to allow for the possibility of conceiving, and thus having a large number of children, something you may not want' (On Virginity, quoted by [George] Gabriel, [You Call My Words Immodest], p. 3)."[5]
Unmarried people should be celibate, that is, refrain from sexual activity. Those who have taken monastic vows, or who have been ordained and are not married (either unmarried or widowed), are held to follow a celibate life.
Some of the Church teachings say that celibacy is better than marriage, while others hold them more equally. "One of the paradoxes of Christian ethics is that marriage and celibacy, if they presuppose different practical behaviors, are based on the same theology of the Kingdom of God and, therefore, on the same spirituality."[14]
St. Paul indicated his preference for celibacy: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman. ... For I wish that all men were even as I am myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am" (I Cor. 7:1,7-8).
The goal of celibacy is not just to remain free of carnal pleasure, but to emancipate a believer from secular cares and orient the person towards God.
"
oth marriage and celibacy are ways of living the Gospel, anticipating the Kingdom, which was already revealed in Christ and must appear in strength at the last day. It is, therefore, only a marriage 'in Christ' sealed by the Eucharist, and celibacy 'in the name of Christ,' which carry this 'eschatological' Christian meaning—not marriage concluded casually, as a contract, or as a satisfaction for the flesh, and not celibacy accepted by inertia, or worse, by egotism and self-protective irresponsibility."[15]
Just as with other desires of the flesh, the temptation to sin sexually often presents itself. In these cases, the mind must instruct the body as to the right course. "Do not follow your lusts, restrain your desires. If you allow yourself to satisfy your desires, this will make you the laughing-stock of your enemies" (Sirach 18:30-31).
Orthodox tradition urges believers to resist not only sexual transgressions, but even thoughts of sexual transgressions. As Christ says, "If a man looks at a woman with lust, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt. 5:27). Some critics hold this to be an impossible standard, for who can purge his heart of illicit sexual thoughts? Others (including many monastics) insist that such a purge is in fact possible, though difficult.
Not only should one avoid yielding to temptation, but one should also take care not to offer temptation to others. "A wink of the eye, and a man makes trouble; a bold rebuke, and a man makes peace" (Prov. 10:10).
King David allowed his desires to get the better of him when he desired Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah. After Bathsheba refused David's advances, David sent Uriah into battle, so that he would be killed. When the Prophet Nathan advised David that his actions were displeasing to God, David repented, confessing his sin (2 Sam. 11:12).
Monastic rules often include injunctions to fight against sexual temptation.
Sex - OrthodoxWiki
Being a true Orthodox Christian takes courage, endurance, patience, and sincere commitment. to reach the ultimate goal - true and complete union with God through love of the Trinity and our neighbor.
