xtian adhd p's of adhd kids?? :D

reformedfan · Jan 6, 2012

ok!!

SO.....

it's not like i can go to my church with this kinda question

ok; .......

dang, just SO freakin' hard to ask strangers for parenting/medical/ neuro disorder advice, cuz it's so easy for random strangers to read a post i didn't word well & have them think 'wow! she's an idiot that hates her kids!! i gotta lock on the truth & here's what she should do, cuz i did it & my kids are awesome!!'

cuz i'll only read the between the lines 'wow! she's an idiot that hates her kids!!' part & be too hurt to read the 'i did it & my kids are awesome!!' part sorry!! i'm hyper & a girl & a mom & skip around & read stuff thru hurt feelings

ok so!!!!!!!

(man alive; please, be merciful to me... i freakin LOVE my kids... all of 'em!! especially the handicapped ones... cuz i am TOTALLY that way!! & man alive!! it sux!! it sux being this way, it sux the non handicapped kids can read my bias- even tho i deny it & try harder to at least look more impartial when it comes to the handicapped kids.... but it's hard!!! but i try & am doing my best!!!!!)

ok so.... my 1 kid- that i totally freakin' identify with cuz i'm no diff than him- did something impulsive & stoopit...

& that's not the kinda thing you can 'train' a kid to do do diff, when he has THAT kinda handicap,anymore than ya can train a kid with CP to walked unassisted, y'follow me?

just SUX

cuz i know what the various Bible verses say about this & that... dude... really, i KNOW!!i didn't grow up in a xtian home... i became one as an adult after a devil worshiping past, so the Bible isn't something i am vaguely aware of, that exists, somewhere fuzzily out there, y'know? i mean to me... it's way more than that y'know?? etc, pm me for mo' details if yer curious

that's why this is SO freakin' hard for me-

ok so this 1 kid does stuff cuz he totally can't help it... totally opp what the Bible sez he should be like... & it's that whole Romans 7 stuff, y;'know?? man alive; sorry; totally prolly this post is gonna offend like 17 people that'll report it... ok; cool; story of my life. that's the truth tho

ok; so quick before i get banned- dude; what am i supposed to do?? i mean i've already had the talk with him- 'a rightous man keeps his word even when it hurts' but i totally KNOW how he can't help it/ he feels bad afterwards/ etc... & dooode!!! i know it hurts!!but whadd'ya gonna do?!?! sux!! blast adam & slog on

*sigh* just being a mom & went thru this with even the handicapped kid i did't relate to on that same level.... & dang; he turned out to be considering the pastorate... just never gets easier kid to kid, y'know? even tho i thought it would

i dunno... should i reverse the kid's self inflicted puniushment? show him grace not justice??

maybe this is psychological, not Spiritual... maybe i just would LOVE a kid that was able to fight off those natural inclinations & rise above for relig reasons, even tho i couldnt & no one i know with THAT kinda disorder can...

ok, prolly that... tomorrow, when he wakes up i'm gonna tell 'im 'it's cool; here ya go; restored like nothing happened!!'... right?? or should i enforce the consequence even tho dooode!!! i feel it'd be like punishing someone with no arms that he couldn't write his name.....

huh.... even tho kids with no arms CAN write their names, if they have that inner drive inside.... .... , or whatever the h it is

nothing like secrecy wrapped in an enigma cloaked in a mystery, eh?

thanx to all!! pray if nothing else!!

Tristan Johan · Jan 9, 2012

reformedfan said:
ok so this 1 kid does stuff cuz he totally can't help it... totally opp what the Bible sez he should be like... & it's that whole Romans 7 stuff...

So he has been doing things that are considered sinful? Just to clarify, these are things that he knows objectively are considered sinful? And despite knowing this, he acts impulsively in such a way that he can't stop himself even with the knowledge in his head?

i've already had the talk with him- 'a rightous man keeps his word even when it hurts' but i totally KNOW how he can't help it/ he feels bad afterwards

Was the extent of his punishment that you discussed it with him, and left him to reflect on his actions? Have you prayed consistently to God to help him with self-control? Bringing the prayer request in for others to add their prayers is certainly movement in a proactive direction. Have you encouraged him to pray about it as well? Jointly, along with you, possibly? Don't know if that will stack the odds in a positive direction, yet perhaps worth a shot.

i dunno... should i reverse the kid's self inflicted puniushment? show him grace not justice??

I would speculate that only your son himself, and God, between themselves can really help him with the matter of grace. Not sure. My own preference is for grace and compassion, I don't look for justice because I don't expect fairness in the world. Restorative Justice as a practice is more constructive and instructive, rather than society's default consideration of Justice, which is Punitive Justice. What's to be learned and gained by a victim and perpetrator and society when administering Justice Punitively, as opposed to Restoratively?

All that aside, I would say that as a parent you will bring your own personality into your parenting style. Seeking guidance, being open to doing so is definitely a good thing to do in an attempt to be the most effective parent possible.

maybe this is psychological, not Spiritual... maybe i just would LOVE a kid that was able to fight off those natural inclinations & rise above for relig reasons

I'm sure spirituality and a person's inner psychology intersect at points; but insofar as seeking solutions to problematic circumstances there are spiritual approaches with prayer requests and spiritual advice on forums such as this one. And there are distinctive psychological approaches to problem solving for these kinds of circumstances; family counseling, individual counseling, cognitive/behavioral training, medication, biofeedback, ect. I heard about jointly spiritual/psychological approaches; church/Christian couseling and so forth. Add any of these approaches into what your already doing, and see what results you get.

reformedfan · Jan 10, 2012

Tristan Johan said:
So he has been doing things that are considered sinful?

i don't know if i'd clarify it as 'sinful' per say.... i dunno....

Tristan Johan said:
Was the extent of his punishment that you discussed it with him, and left him to reflect on his actions? Have you prayed consistently to God to help him with self-control? Bringing the prayer request in for others to add their prayers is certainly movement in a proactive direction. Have you encouraged him to pray about it as well? Jointly, along with you, possibly? Don't know if that will stack the odds in a positive direction, yet perhaps worth a shot.

yeah, i've done the 'easy' stuff.... great ideas the rest of the post!! thanx!!

Tristan Johan · Jan 13, 2012

Desmau5 said:
I don't know who is the stupid one here

I can't quite gauge your tone or familiarity with the OP, isn't that going a bit far, though?

I cannot understand a word you say with your horrible spelling.

I've already isolated a couple of key quotes from the OP's text, and asked a couple of clarifying questions. So that's done.

I think you should share the medications with your kids, it looks like you need it too.

Again, I can't tell if you are familiar with the OP and have this familiar level of rapport. On the surface, though, isn't this a bit counterproductive...and a bit late to the party?

blackribbon · Jan 13, 2012

Okay...working with very few details...yet, knowing that ADHD people can be extremely impulsive...that does not mean they "can't help it" (unless you also mean that he is mentally handicapped)....it just means that they often have to work harder to keep their behavior under control.

I would sit down with this "child" and discuss what happened. After he explains his viewpoint, go through how his actions affected others and help him figure out what might have constituted better choices if could have done it over again. Also help him to figure out some coping tools that he can employ when he finds himself in hard situations. It may be a self imposed "time out" where he removes himself from the situation (letting people know he will be back shortly). Or maybe he can call you to talk through his options before acting. And I can come up with more suggestions or potential ideas but I'd need to know his age and at least the generalities of the problems you are facing together.

And ((hugs)) to you...

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xtian adhd p's of adhd kids?? :D

reformedfan

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Tristan Johan

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reformedfan

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Tristan Johan

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blackribbon

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