You probably have no clue who I am, but I've been around TAW on and off for a few years -- a long time ago quite intensively as an inquirer in TAW by the name of contriteheart, and recently more on-and-off as a (now happily Lutheran) lurker. So though you may not know me, I have read many of your posts, and have appreciated them.
Tonight I was reading
Orthodoxy (because of your recommendation of Chesterton, incidentally!), and I came upon a quote that I found helpful to me. And in thinking about it, I think it's possible it may be helpful to you, too. It may sound a bit strident at first, but it's not meant to be. I think my comments afterward will clear that up. Here it is:
Oh, I admit that you have your case and have it by heart, and that many things do fit into other things as you say. I admit that your explanation explains a great deal; but what a great deal it leaves out! Are there no other stories in the world except yours; and are all men busy with your business? Suppose we grant the details; perhaps when the man in the street did not seem to see you it was only his cunning; perhaps when the policeman asked you your name it was only because he knew it already. But how much happier you would be if you knew these people cared nothing about you! How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it; if you could really look at other men with common curiosity and pleasure; if you could see them walking as they are in their sunny selfishness and their virile indifference! You would begin to be interested in them, because they were not interested in you. You would break out of this tiny and tawdry theatre in which your own little plot is always being played, and you would find yourself under a freer sky, in a street full of splendid strangers.
Now I grant you that he's talking about a man who suffers from paranoia, and I'm in no way saying that's the case with you...or me!
What I am saying is that on the whole, people (even people who care for us) for the most part have very little interest in what
we think, or know, or believe because they are much more concerned with what
they think, or know, or believe. That is just fallen human nature. If we can get past how very offensive it is to our pride (and I mean that word in the best sense), we can be free from a great burden of needing people to hear us and value what we have to say. That then, frees us to freely and joyfully contribute the gifts, knowledge, and experience we have been given by God, without the attached strings of us needing to be heard and agreed with -- which (paradoxically) makes it easier for others to actually hear us and agree with us!
There is a fabulous quote by Thomas a Kempis that I hold dear. It goes like this: "Let not thy peace depend upon the word of men; for whether they judge well or ill of thee, thou art not therefore any other man than thyself."
No one can take from you the gifts, wisdom, and knowledge God has given to you. You are the man you are before God...no more and no less. What you have to contribute is valuable. And it is not less so because it is unacknowledged (or even contradicted) by others at times.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this post from someone you don't know. If it doesn't apply, please disregard it. If it applies just a bit (as a friend of mine likes to say) just "Eat the meat and spit out the bones." And if I'm out of line for posting here at all, I apologize. I'm often well-intentioned, but wrong.
Thank you for who you are and for what you contribute here. I wouldn't be reading
Orthodoxy if it wasn't for your recommendation of Chesterton, so if you feel you're not making any headway, take heart, you are. It may be that you just don't always get to see it.
Blessings in Christ to you!