Very 1st time that I will be all alone on all day Christmas Day :(

aflower4God · Dec 18, 2011

Now I dread Christmas day.

I just got news that my one and only offline friend is going to be working from 8am to 6pm on Christmas day (she works at a resort). I don't have enought sleepy drugs to make me sleep all that time as in sleep the day away so that is out of the question.
I don't drive, so I can't go anywhere. The bus is not anywhere near by.
I am extreemly social phobic, so voluntaring is out of the question.
On top of all that is going on I have been very depressed about this (not having a family to go to on the holidays).
NOW this is depressing me so much that I may consider on running away to the bitter cold north to find my way to God. I can't deal with being alone like this on CHRISTMAS the day when family and friends are suppose to be together. That is the time that one is to spend time with family and or friends.
I am super depressed cause I am not married either so I don't have in laws or even my own children to spend that time with.
I can't deal with this at all.

Thank you for letting me get this out.
I am SO VERY GLAD that you all have somewhere to go (I assume each and every eye that reads this does) Even if it is to a shelter home again I CAN NOT do that I am very social phobic, and I have been trying hard to not have anymore panic attacks (as you know), so please don't suggest that cause it just upsets me more.

God bless you alll. :hug:

Forge3 · Dec 18, 2011

I am in the same situation exactly minus the panic attacks. As far as ending things God does not want you to come to Him like that. I have contemplated such a thing many times in the past but no.

aflower4God · Dec 18, 2011

((((((((Forge3))))))) I will def. drop a line to you on Christmas day. Thank you for your kind advice and I AM TRULY SORRY that you have no place to go to either. IT IS VERY HARD. I will be praying REALLY HARD FOR YOU my dear sweet brother. :prayer:

's

miss-a · Dec 18, 2011

Flower, I really think the enemy is on you again, about this. Here's why. You really won't be alone. You'll be alone part of the day, but your friend will be there morning and evening. Maybe you could do something special like surprise her with a before work special breakfast (just whatever you have, it doesn't have to require special shopping) or an after work dinner or both. Plan to have a nice time with her working around her work hours. During the day you could work on making a card for and preparing dinner.

Also, please know I will be around on Christmas day and would love to have a chat. And more importantly, Jesus will be around on Christmas. You could listen to Bible teachings online to help you remember that. I can send you some links if you like.

Prayers for you,
a

Catherineanne · Dec 18, 2011

aflower4God said:
Now I dread Christmas day.
I just got news that my one and only offline friend is going to be working from 8am to 6pm on Christmas day (she works at a resort). I don't have enought sleepy drugs to make me sleep all that time as in sleep the day away so that is out of the question.
I don't drive, so I can't go anywhere. The bus is not anywhere near by.
I am extreemly social phobic, so voluntaring is out of the question.
On top of all that is going on I have been very depressed about this (not having a family to go to on the holidays).
NOW this is depressing me so much that I may consider on running away to the bitter cold north to find my way to God. I can't deal with being alone like this on CHRISTMAS the day when family and friends are suppose to be together. That is the time that one is to spend time with family and or friends.
I am super depressed cause I am not married either so I don't have in laws or even my own children to spend that time with.
This week may be the week I plan my end....the time that I decide to make my journey to Jesus. I can't deal with this at all.
Thank you for letting me get this out.
I am SO VERY GLAD that you all have somewhere to go (I assume each and every eye that reads this does) Even if it is to a shelter home again I CAN NOT do that I am very social phobic, and I have been trying hard to not have anymore panic attacks (as you know), so please don't suggest that cause it just upsets me more.
God bless you alll.

I will be online on Christmas day for you, Flower, and I want you to stay in the warm so that you can talk to me. I will send you my email address, and my phone number too if you want it.

I have Mass at 9.30am (GMT), then home to cook Christmas dinner, but there will be lots of time in the afternoon. My family is all going to my brothers, but I am social phobic as well, so I will be here with my daughter, and I suspect she will be watching some films or something; we usually have a very quiet day. We have somewhere to go, but I am not able to do it, any more than you are. I can barely cope with church, but my priest tells me that Sundays are days of obligation, and I follow that advice.

I know this is not the same as having someone irl, but I will be here for you. :wave:

Catherineanne · Dec 18, 2011

Forge3 said:
I am in the same situation exactly minus the panic attacks. As far as ending things God does not want you to come to Him like that. I have contemplated such a thing many times in the past but no.

When thoughts like this came to me some years ago I saw the image of a path leading to eternity, and knew myself to be taking steps along that path; deliberately doing so. But on that path I saw an angel standing, with a drawn sword,. He has tears in his eyes because he feels the same pain we do. When you step towards him he says, 'This path is closed to you; you cannot pass. You must go back.' He cries when we do.

We are not to choose our own time; the angel himself will come for us, when the time is right.

aflower4God · Dec 18, 2011

(((((((((((CatherineAnne)))))))))) ((((((((((((((Miss-A)))))))))))) WOW A BIG thank you to you both.
Dear sweet sister CatherineAnne I will take you up on that and email you on Christmas.
Dear sweet sister Missa very good idea about making breakfast and dinner, it is a shame that I can not have refine sugars. :sigh:

BUT I can make eggs or something yummy like that.
THANK YOU for being here for me, YOU CANT IMAGINE HOW MUCH this means to me. THANK YOU! GOD BLESS YOU ALL! (((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

cflittlestar · Dec 18, 2011

I don't have any party to go either, will be at home.

Catherineanne · Dec 18, 2011

aflower4God said:
(((((((((((CatherineAnne)))))))))) ((((((((((((((Miss-A)))))))))))) WOW A BIG thank you to you both.
Dear sweet sister CatherineAnne I will take you up on that and email you on Christmas.
Dear sweet sister Missa very good idea about making breakfast and dinner, it is a shame that I can not have refine sugars. BUT I can make eggs or something yummy like that.
THANK YOU for being here for me, YOU CANT IMAGINE HOW MUCH this means to me. THANK YOU! GOD BLESS YOU ALL! (((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

I don't have to imagine, Flower, I have myself walked through the Valley of the Shadow, and I know how frightening it is.

You are not alone in this; the Lord will not let you go, and neither will we.

So, for the next few days, how about preparing the PERFECT Christmas for a social phobic who has the absolute luxury of being alone all day? Find some bubble bath; not super expensive but nice. Your favourite fruit drink; cranberry and raspberry is nice. Not alcohol, I think. Then a really interesting collection of films to watch; find all your old favourites, including somewhere or other A Christmas Carol; that one HAS to be done!

And I hope you can also find some Christmas carols or services on the television or somewhere; basically you plan your perfect day.

This Christmas Day is a gift to you, Flower. Tens of thousands of people who don't know how to say no to their overbearing familes, and who will end up miserable all day with people they don't know, and have nothing but genetics in common with, will envy you greatly.

:hug:

Dianna_Child of God · Dec 18, 2011

Oh Flower I am so sorry. I wish you could come here. Wish I could make all your pain go away.

Winter · Dec 18, 2011

Catherineanne gives some great advice!!

One day I hope to spend a quiet Christmas alone. Just me and Christ. The hustle and bustle can be too much. Christmas is about peace.

But I will be spending Christmas with you in my heart, Flower. I will be sharing that glorious day when our Savior enters our world and illuminates His hope to us. He is the light of our world who comes to enter our dark cold and winter days. I will be thinking about you on that day. Rest assured. :hug:

CF Littlestar, I will be thinking of you too. :hug:

loved33 · Dec 18, 2011

Hey petal, you are really good company - you being with you for Christmas could be a really special thing. You could really cherish yourself and make dinner for yourself and buy yourself a special present to be opened at a special time.

You are really good company.

HopingForJesus · Dec 18, 2011

HUGS, LOVE and :prayer:

FLOWER. Hang in there, Jesus will always be at your side. I know it must be hard for you, but you are loved and no one wants anything to happen to you. God bless.

Miss Elly · Dec 18, 2011

Hello Flower. Here's my prayer for you.

Dear Lord, please bless Flower on Christmas Day in some unexpected way. She is your child, made in your image and she loves you!!!!!! Cause someone to call, or someone to do something nice for her so she knows she is loved and not forgotten. God give you daughter a big hug and let you know you love her and take away her depression!!!!!!!! Praying for you. The Lord is concerned about you and so are we! You are worth so much Jesus died for you. Read my new thread on how the Lord answered my prayer if you want to. Lots of love, in Christ. Miss Elly

Victorium · Dec 18, 2011

That's alright Flower, my heart is with you. I have spent some Christmas days by myself and it's not so bad. When you get up see if you can go to a nice Christmas service somewhere, it doesn't matter what denomination. I know you are sensitive, but it would be nice for you to be around people that day. The Christmas service can be fun and later just make yourself a nice Christmas lunch and turn the music on! It can be a lonely time especially if you are missing a family, it does happen to many people, try not to reflect too much on your situation on that day, but if you have to spend it by yourself then try to make it as best a day as you can, just don't think that you have to be doing anything special or that you're not loved Flower because you are!

Snow Angel · Dec 18, 2011

aflower4God · Dec 18, 2011

(((((((((((MANY BIG HUGS))))))))))
Thank you all and you all have such a wonderful idea's of spending that time to reflect. I am still depressed about this BUT What can I do, but try to see this from God's side, and ONE thing God did put on my heart, is that what if, just if God wants to spend time with me just me, maybe right?! I am trying hard to find the sunshine in this dark cloud, really I am. IT IS HIS Birthday not mine, even though my heart aches cause no one will be around but I HAVE A BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG FAMILY here and I am SO GREATFUL FOR THAT.
CFlittlestar please join me and Forge3 and Missa and CatherineAnne and everyone here on Christmas, we would LOVE to have you here.
THANK YOU SO MUCH and know that I am praying for you all.
AND THANK YOU for showing me the good side to this.