- Sep 17, 2004
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I have been on a self-destructive downward spiral for the past two weeks. Let me give you some background.
Prior to making some radical changes in my behavior, I was an abusive, manipulative witch to my entire family. My children took the brunt of my anger and rage. When I got better, I swore I would never hurt my children again. Unfortunately, it took till they were adults, and moved from home to live their own lives. Still I swore I would never hurt my precious children again.
Well, I have been getting along with all three kids, visiting them and doing things with them and my grandchildren. The last time I argued with my daughter was Memorial Day, 2010. Till two weeks ago, that is. She is five months pregnant, and we clashed over two things. She kept making negative comments about all the medications I take. Then, she argued about a bottle of cough syrup I borrowed and used rather quickly. I could have shut up but instead, I got defensive and hurt and threatened to go home, instead of staying there one more day.
Then, on Sunday, I made a joke with my son, saying a particular football player should have his mouth washed out with soap. I had forgotten that his father had done that to him when he was a child, and my son got upset with me. He thought I was making a joke out of the abuse he got as a child.
So, I hurt two of my children in a week. As a result, my self-loathing, self-destructive tendencies are flared big time.
Please pray for me.
Trish
Prior to making some radical changes in my behavior, I was an abusive, manipulative witch to my entire family. My children took the brunt of my anger and rage. When I got better, I swore I would never hurt my children again. Unfortunately, it took till they were adults, and moved from home to live their own lives. Still I swore I would never hurt my precious children again.
Well, I have been getting along with all three kids, visiting them and doing things with them and my grandchildren. The last time I argued with my daughter was Memorial Day, 2010. Till two weeks ago, that is. She is five months pregnant, and we clashed over two things. She kept making negative comments about all the medications I take. Then, she argued about a bottle of cough syrup I borrowed and used rather quickly. I could have shut up but instead, I got defensive and hurt and threatened to go home, instead of staying there one more day.
Then, on Sunday, I made a joke with my son, saying a particular football player should have his mouth washed out with soap. I had forgotten that his father had done that to him when he was a child, and my son got upset with me. He thought I was making a joke out of the abuse he got as a child.
So, I hurt two of my children in a week. As a result, my self-loathing, self-destructive tendencies are flared big time.
Please pray for me.
Trish
