Should a woman ask a guy out?

I don't have a problem with it.

I think people think way too much into these type of things. If you like someone tell them. If you want to go somewhere with someone, ask them. It doesn't have to be a complicated matter.

She can if she wants. Although some guys will have hang-ups about it and won't like it. But in all honesty, if she's willing to ask a Guy out and he feels like that they would've been miserable anyway.

I won't say that it's a bad idea for others, but for me personally I would never do it. I do tend towards the belief that the guy should do the pursuing.

I have no problem with it, if she wants to, then she can. I never understood why it is such a big deal.

If she wants to, she should. If the guy spazzes out over it, then he's probably not her type.

With this guy that I am dating now, I ended up having to tell him that I like him! We had been hanging out for two months, over that time his actions seemed to hint that he liked me, but he never said anything outright or made a move. One night after meeting, I got fed up of not knowing, so when I got home I texted him about it. Luckily, he felt the same. He had been wondering where he stood!

Nothing ventured nothing gained so go for it

I wouldn't. I think the guy should do the asking out in the same way that I'm all traditional and think that the guy should do the proposing.

I don't think it's bad for a girl to drop enough hints to a guy so he is confident enough to ask her.

thankful_in_VT said:

the guy should do the proposing

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I agree with this. I would feel very uneasy if my girlfriend proposed to me.

Why does anybody have to do any "asking out"?

Apparently peoples' brains are hard wired through socialization to organize their lives around performing formal rituals. Other than that I can't think of any rational explanation of why anybody would want to spend one second on questions like "should A do the asking out or should B do the asking out?".

It's like relationships are nothing more than being a robot and acting out formal rituals.

Apparently I am in a very small minority, but my ideal would be for things to unfold spontaneously. You know, somebody casually saying something like, "I enjoyed the conversation. Why don't we continue it after work at...". No deliberate performance of formal rituals like "asking out" needed.

People (men and women) should do whatever they want and are comfortable with in regards to dating.

If a woman can resist the cultural conditioning and negative stereotyping associated with her taking initiative, then I say "you go, woman" and "more power to you." It's likely she'll be asking out a man who appreciates initiative in a woman and who would just be flattered at the compliment (whether or not he returns her interest).

If, on the other hand, the woman is concerned about fitting into her proper "feminine role" and it would really bother her if people look down their noses at her for wanting something and taking steps to get what she wants, then no, she shouldn't ask a man out.

thankful_in_VT said:

I wouldn't. I think the guy should do the asking out in the same way that I'm all traditional and think that the guy should do the proposing.

I don't think it's bad for a girl to drop enough hints to a guy so he is confident enough to ask her.

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Short of her actually asking me out, there is no hint and no number of hints that I wouldn't second guess. I think proposing is a different matter entirely, since when people are close enough for that to take place, they actually know each other decently well. Then she can hint, and leave the proposing to me.

Sketcher said:

Short of her actually asking me out, there is no hint and no number of hints that I wouldn't second guess. I think proposing is a different matter entirely, since when people are close enough for that to take place, they actually know each other decently well. Then she can hint, and leave the proposing to me.

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I very much agree with what you said. I'm horrible at reading hints, because I know I'm not objective at all in such situations, most friends I've got feel the same way, in that they always second guess everything that happens with a girl they like. Proposing is indeed a different matter, and I absolutely believe a guy should do that.

Speaking as an "older man", from a somewhat more traditional time---

I would be honored if she asked me out. I'd probably say "Yes" in half a heartbeat.

If you ask him out - be prepared to pay for the date

Please tell me that if I am ever going to be in a relationship that I will not have to go through "asking out" or being "asked out".

I have done most of the conscious, deliberate stuff, including "asking" women "out". I have consciously, deliberately "made friends".

Do you know what else I have experienced? I like to call it spontaneity. Surely I am not the only person who has experienced it. You know...for no apparent reason you start a conversation with somebody and then through no conscious effort by either party one thing leads to another. Before you know it, you have formed a deep friendship.

Having experienced both I can say that the latter is exponentially better.

If somebody were to tell me that when it comes to forming a lifelong partnership such as a marriage that only consciously, deliberately performing prescribed social behaviors applies I would be extremely disappointed. I am not ready to accept that dating and marriage are, like it or not, a game with a thousand rules. I am sure that very quickly I would get tired of acting. I have already experienced it--working in "customer service" positions for many years I very quickly got tired of acting according to a market-researched script. Please tell me that there are women who want relationships with men to be on a different level.

Celtic Heart said:

I won't say that it's a bad idea for others, but for me personally I would never do it. I do tend towards the belief that the guy should do the pursuing.

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^this

God Bless,
Drew