Disturbing, huh.
Time to break it down:
-I dreamed I was in a scene on "Little House".
A family that seemed to have it all together, even when they went through troubles. They knew how to support each other and tough it out. That sometimes leaves the viewer feeling a little incompetent, or lacking family support... but at least set something to aspire to and believe in.
-It was a very serious scene, I don't remember what but for some reason, I started laughing.
It seems like there might have been self-condemnation after laughing?
Being out of place might just show how we don't handle things the way we consider ideal. The Little House family sets a high standard, and we know we don't all live it out the way we would imagine we could.
Sometimes we get this way with church -- we see it as running properly despite obstacles, but then find ourselves in situations where our response throws us off guard. We want to support the cause, but there are details that don't fit into the larger picture well, and leave us responding in a way others wouldn't understand.
An example: The seniors are going to have a quilting bee to give away quilts to asthma patients. They are going to use fabric from their attics, that smell like mothballs. You point out that the smell will trigger asthma attacks, and everyone gets mad at you because the overall agenda was good, but you saw something different that needed to be said.
No one had bad intent, but you were left feeling like you must have.
-Charles, (Pa) was sitting beside me and he got so upset he almost started to cry. I told him, "I'm sorry I laughed, I will try not to". He said that's ok ad he hugged me and started to pray. (I think).
(Imagine a pastoral figure)
-As we were hugging, he something happened to him and he started rocking back and forth and I knew it wasn't him doing that. I didn't like the feeling but as we let go of each other, there was this baby on the floor. But it was a baby that was 3 or 4 months premature. I was thinking to myself that it wasn't a baby but a demon. The baby crawled over to us, no one else could see it and it left a trail of blood where ever it crawled. When it got to us, it stopped and I woke up.
We incubate and birth projects, ministries, companies, careers, and aspirations to express ourselves creatively. This pastoral figure birthed something that was not beneficial, and caused grief. It approached you for attention, but you didn't feel it safe or worthwhile to be connected to it.
I am curious about how the baby came during/after the embrace -- as though maybe you represent the church which has trusted and embraced this leadership, and [your] support of [his/its] cause allowed the next generation to be troublesome.
Some of us here have discussed how the popularity of church has drawn a lot of people in, but now there are many marginal believers who adore the music and worship but don't read scriptures on their own or pursue God for themselves.
They need attention--human and God's-- and many are in pain and losing lifeblood, but because there are so many new believers, the task can seem overwhelming and even unexpected. It is not that a baby is unwanted, but not prepared for.
We have new members who serve on worship teams and are taking on leadership, getting hired as youth pastors because they have energy and love the modern worship... but haven't really spent time connecting with God. Without the grounding of scriptures and prayer, living to serve others, they can leave a trail of blood where they go. Looking cute but not responding to human need or spirituality.
I think the baby could be other things too, but took the explanation in a direction that might be familiar. There has been much speculation on ecumenical movements rising up, for one.
