we have all had those questions and emotions about Christianity, it is how each one of us react to the answerers or the unanswered one.
When a person is genuinely seeking Truth, it will be shown.
when a person is pondering these questions, and then answering them in their own wisdom, or the wisdom from the world, that person will see God as angry and vengeful, a God wanting to see most of the world burn.
But the person who investigates these questions of theology, with prayer for wisdom from God, has a an open heart for God, wants to know God....this person will fall in love with God, and they will die to their own understanding and submit to the Greater Wisdom of the Spirit.
This person will fear His Majesty, will hide from His Holiness, he/she will kneel at the feet this God, Jesus the Messiah, and He will cover you in Grace, and all the wisdom of the worlds philosophies will seem like foolishness to your new mind, and new heart given to you by the Holy Spirit.
The person then living in obedience to the Spirit, will Trust God to save all those who are to be saved, from the beginning of creation until the end of this earth.
There is no need to be of concern for many of the questions you ask, for GOD IS GOOD, AND A RIGHTEOUS JUDGE
1Then the Lord said to Job,
2Do you still want to argue with the Almighty?
You are Gods critic, but do you have the answers?
3Then Job replied to the Lord,
4I am nothinghow could I ever find the answers?
I will cover my mouth with my hand.
5I have said too much already.
I have nothing more to say.
6Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind:
7Brace yourself like a man,
because I have some questions for you,
and you must answer them.
8Will you discredit my justice
and condemn me just to prove you are right?
9Are you as strong as God?
Can you thunder with a voice like his?
10All right, put on your glory and splendor,
your honor and majesty.
11Give vent to your anger.
Let it overflow against the proud.
12Humiliate the proud with a glance;
walk on the wicked where they stand.
13Bury them in the dust.
Imprison them in the world of the dead.
14Then even I would praise you,
for your own strength would save you (Job 40)