I recently talked to a friend of mine who is a marriage counselor. He told me that if communication is a major issue in a marriage it is almost always the men's fault since women are hardwired to be communicators and men are doers. He told me that even in his own marriage, he has to consiciously decide to be a communicator even after over 20 years of marriage. What do you people think?
I recently talked to a friend of mine who is a marriage counselor. He told me that if communication is a major issue in a marriage it is almost always the men's fault since women are hardwired to be communicators and men are doers. He told me that even in his own marriage, he has to consiciously decide to be a communicator even after over 20 years of marriage. What do you people think?
Meh. I disagree.
Women are "talkers" and men are "doers". However, that doesn't mean that all women naturally know how to communicate effectively.
Yes, maybe men have to work more at being consciously communicative. But, I would venture a guess that sometimes the husband is a better/more effective communicator than the wife.
Well..since my husband is the one that speaks in code..Ive requested that from now on he needs to put it in writing..so when the misunderstanding happens I pull out the "evidence" (the words in writing) then I pull out the dictionary and remind him I go by the "definition" of what words mean..then I put those words to further meaning (context) the way they are arranged in the sentence.
If he meant something different I have proven thats not my reponsiblility.Its not that Im not listening..its I dont know when hes playing the 'opposite game" or when Im supposed to "read between the lines" or when Im supposed to go litteral.its also very difficult when he says one thing and in the same sentence or paragraph completely contradicts..so saying two sperate things at once...so I thought I could start at base one and let him know ahead of time Im going "litteral'..actually using the definition of "words"..
Dallas
ITA. Very good post. There are great raconteurs who are male, and great ones who are female. Great business leaders (which takes communication) who are male and female. There are great male and female windbags, ahem, I mean politicians who can talk the talk up and down, sideways and then crabwise. It's not a gender trait, it's something that can be learned by anyone at any time. Sure, some people can be born with "the gift of the gab" - and one can always kiss the Blarney Stone, although I wouldn't encourage it because I've actually seen the Blarney Stone, and unless you want to hang precariously over a rock (not me!), and kiss something that is the recipient of the saliva of a million other people <yuck> you don't want to do that. And besides, it doesn't work. Ha.
