torcot,
Thank you.
I am going to speak to her tonight. I, actually, haven't really talked to her about it directly. I've talked to her about my doubts and such, but never really why I doubt. I am not, at this time, going to break up with her, however, hear me out. I am going to speak to her about stopping our immorality, fornication, etc. And, if she does not wish to stop, I will leave her, as it will be evident that she does not care about me nor my spiritual state.
I do have another question for other people here. I enjoy writing. Fiction, that is. However, I've been feeling like something is wrong, like, almost sinful about writing. I think I feel partially this way because writing is something that I want to do when I am depressed. And, as of lately, it's been becoming a bigger part of my life. The story I am currently writing, however, has almost a correlation to the Bible, or, if you will, biblical message to it. In fact, it almost directly relates to the relation Christ and the Father have, but indirectly.
If there is nothing wrong with this, there is something that I feel may be wrong but I am not sure. When I write, I will often use swearing, well, not often, but when I feel it necessary. I do not use it as ME saying it, i.e. the narrator, but the characters. Partially, I do not feel this is wrong, as some might (I know I sound contradicting here). The reason being is because I've been taught to write the truth and chances are the truth is, people swear. When something bad happens to someone or something hurts, even people who don't like swearing, will accidently swear. They won't say, "Oh my goodness, fudge muffin', that hurt."
Anyways, as for the moment, I am going to eat lunch with her now. I will either talk to her then (she's working) or after she is off. Thanks.
I did, however, in a sense, have a victory last night in fighting this. I went home earlier from her house because I didn't want anything to happen. Although, I'm not sure if I left for this reason, I don't really remember, all I know is I think God has started to grant some repentance. In that I began feeling really terrible last night about it. Nearly crying. But anyways, now I'm showing false humility. Thanks again.
