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Sometimes staying positive is so very hard....

aflower4God

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....just like living. :(
You all know my story (it is the same old same old), I am going to be 38 in a few months, never been in love and the last guy I dated was many years ago.
No kids, no family cause they disowned me.
Many of other things that i have posted about before.
I am trying so hard to get out of this same old rut, it is hard very hard!
Right now as I type this I am so very angry at God.
I feel like I am totally alone meaning that no one my age is going through what I am going through, they at least have a job, children, hubby and/or their own family (mom, dad and/or sibblings) that love them and this makes life so hard living for me cause I feel like a freak loser who God is making me live on this earth just to laugh at me or something, I really don't know anymore what God is doing to me. :(
This I know, I have no purpose and I AM taking up space on this earth.
Now that I got my deep feelings out that I have to live with daily that i push way down and pretend that I am someone; I will try to supress this feeling and go on being positive, when really I HATE ME and I am trying hard to change me, REALLY I am but God does not want to bless me. I am an odd one, a freak show to God and society!
 
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Your user name suggests you to be a flower up to God. But I also think, you are a flower He has given us. The love and support you show members on this forum IS something worthwhile, that is for sure.

I know just how you feel so I don't know what I could say that you would believe. Know this though, I said a prayer for you just now because you are worthwhile and purposeful human being.

::hugs::
 
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power2theweak

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Flower,

I am struggling with many of the same issues, and it is very painful. I am sorry that you are hurting so! (((hugs)))

I am not doing well at the moment--very down and feeling stuck. So, I'm not sure that I'll be able to help very much. But I am striving to see God as a loving God. I know for me, it is so tempting to see the rubble that is my life and to think that God doesn't care about me. I compare myself to others (which I shouldn't do) and see all that they have (good job, house, spouse, family, etc.) and all that I am missing. I wonder why I have to struggle so. Why doesn't God help me??? That kind of thinking can make us bitter and angry towards God because we feel cheated.

But, what if we start to see things differently? What if God is giving us exactly what we need. What if we are exactly where we are supposed to be right now? Sounds kinda crazy, huh? How could God want this for us? I don't know! But His ways are not our ways. We can't see what He has planned for us. He has allowed this "stuff" into our lives, so surely He is using it to make us better.

If we can trust God with our lives, it takes the pressure off of us. We don't have to be strong enough or figure things out on our own. God is big enough to handle it all! I know, though, that it is hard to trust Him when it seems like things are going wrong. I am not doing so well right now, either. My thoughts have been in the wrong place, and I have just about worn myself out with worry--that I have failed and that things will never work out for me. But, I just heard someone on the radio say that faith takes practice. That gives me hope: I'm not getting it right now, but that's OK, I just need more practice.

God has us here for a reason, Flower. We aren't here just to take up space. I don't pretend to know God's plan for me, but I must believe that it is good! I know that He has a good plan for you, too!

(((hugs)))

....just like living. :(
You all know my story (it is the same old same old), I am going to be 38 in a few months, never been in love and the last guy I dated was many years ago.
No kids, no family cause they disowned me.
Many of other things that i have posted about before.
I am trying so hard to get out of this same old rut, it is hard very hard!
Right now as I type this I am so very angry at God.
I feel like I am totally alone meaning that no one my age is going through what I am going through, they at least have a job, children, hubby and/or their own family (mom, dad and/or sibblings) that love them and this makes life so hard living for me cause I feel like a freak loser who God is making me live on this earth just to laugh at me or something, I really don't know anymore what God is doing to me. :(
This I know, I have no purpose and I AM taking up space on this earth.
Now that I got my deep feelings out that I have to live with daily that i push way down and pretend that I am someone; I will try to supress this feeling and go on being positive, when really I HATE ME and I am trying hard to change me, REALLY I am but God does not want to bless me. I am an odd one, a freak show to God and society!
 
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plumsink

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This I know, I have no purpose and I AM taking up space on this earth.
Now that I got my deep feelings out that I have to live with daily that i push way down and pretend that I am someone; I will try to supress this feeling and go on being positive, when really I HATE ME and I am trying hard to change me, REALLY I am but God does not want to bless me. I am an odd one, a freak show to God and society!

Dear heart, while I write this I am in extreme pain, pain like i have never known in my life before, and that is saying something for someone who has lived a life full of pain. Every few seconds I wince as another wave of extreme pain washes over me.

But I had to respond to you. Every single person, EVERY ONE, that God has chosen as special to Himself, he leads on a road of crucifixion. A road of pain. Why?

"Jesus said to me; 'How many times would you have abandoned Me, my son, if I had not crucified you. Beneath the cross, one learns love, and I do not give this to everyone, but only to those souls who are dearest to Me."

-Padre Pio

It is very difficult not to be consumed by the world. If my life had been more painless, more successful, I would have been consumed. You would have been consumed too. It is impossible for anyone to escape this on their own. God has to help you escape this fate, this death. And He is helping us Petal: He is helping us to renounce the snares of this world and even helping us renounce ourselves, for love of Him. And that is the only true way to Life, away from the Death that is in this World.

God is doing this FOR US, because He loves us. Those that God gives great material bounty and worldly success to, are not those that He has chosen as special to Himself. Worldly success is in truth humiliation, and worldly humiliation is in fact spiritual progress. God does not cause us pain because He enjoys seeing us suffer, but because it is the only way. The only way that we will come to Him, is if all the bridges to a worldly life are burned and in ruins.

Rejoice that you suffer innocently, for suffering innocently is far better than suffering guilty. Rejoice that God has chosen you, precious Petal, as special to Himself, just as I rejoice even in this great pain. You still hope in a "successful" life, and as long as you do, pain will come your way. You still hope in a worldly love, but God wants your love for Himself alone. You have a greater love and a greater husband.

The pain is very great now, I have to go lie down or something. Remember petal that you are not nothing, or useless. You are chosen.


((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) and kisses in the name of the Beloved, our Lord.

Robert
 
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plumsink

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Saint Teresa of the Andes, on Religious Life, (age 15), Letters p.121

"Her sacrifice is perpetual, without mitigation, from the time her religious life begins until she dies as a victim according to the example of Jesus Christ. And she does all this in silence with no one aware of it. Yet how many are there who think of this life as useless (emphasis mine). Nevertheless, she (the religious) is like the Lamb of God. She removes sins from the world. She sacrifices herself to bring back to the sheepfold those sheep who have gone astray. But just as Christ did not know the world, neither does she know it. This abnegation enchants me completely. There is no room for self-love. She doesn't even see the fruit of her prayer. In heaven alone will she know this."
 
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power2theweak

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From K-LOVE Radio Features – August 2011 | francisanfuso.com

Why God?

Have you been saying, “God, why is this happening to me?” A better question would be, “God, what are you trying to show me?” The fact is God’s always trying to show us something of eternal value. Paul the Apostle assures us that “…it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:13, NKJV)

Though Paul was in prison and would eventually be beheaded, he still saw how God graciously used—for good—what Satan meant for evil. Refusing to see his circumstance in a negative light, Paul wrote, “…what [has happened] to me [this imprisonment] has actually only served to advance…the [spreading of the] good news.” (Philippians 1:12, Amplified)

What a marvelous way to view life! The way God intended. Trusting Him every step of the way.
 
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power2theweak

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From K-LOVE Radio Features – August 2011 | francisanfuso.com

I Will Restore

Is your heart broken? God wants to help! His healing power can smother the smoldering pain, so that even remembering it is no longer painful. It may take years for the finished work to be accomplished, but God promises, “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” (Joel 2:25, NKJV) It’s the very reason Jesus died on the Cross: “…it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows that weighed Him down…He was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.” (Isaiah 53:4-5) Absolutely everything we have gone through in life can be healed, if our hearts remain open and trusting, surrendered to the One greater than our pain and our problems.
 
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power2theweak

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From K-LOVE Radio Features – August 2011 | francisanfuso.com

Worried?

Are you worried about your future? God isn’t! He’s got a plan.

May we never give up on God’s will for us. May our hearts and minds remain steadfastly open to live our lives as He intended. May we always believe that our best days are ahead. Pessimism is from hell. The God who makes the sun rise every day is an eternal optimist, and so are His sons and daughters.

Others may overlook us, but we’re never invisible to God. Our Father in Heaven is aware of all our needs. “… even the very hairs of your head are all numbered…so don’t be afraid…” (Matthew 10:30–31, NIV) Behind every challenge is a loving God whose victorious perspective is far greater than the trials we face. God owns the future. Trust Him!
 
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power2theweak

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From K-LOVE Radio Features – August 2011 | francisanfuso.com

A Different Life

Do you wish you had a different life? Perhaps even that you were a different person? None of us are accidents! None of us are mistakes! A loving Creator has formed each one of us. May we join the psalmist and say, “I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.” (Psalm 139:14, ESV)

Every second we spend wishing we were somewhere else, or even someone else, is a waste of time and a slap in the face of a God Who’s done everything possible for our wellbeing.

We must stop waiting to live and start living! Today can be one of the best days of your life, if you’ll surrender to God, and believe the truth of His Word, more than what you feel.
 
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power2theweak

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From K-LOVE Radio Features – August 2011 | francisanfuso.com

Hanging On

Do you feel like you’re barely hanging on? God’s not brought you this far to fail, but to finish…and to finish well.

Paul the Apostle was “…certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Philippians 1:6, NLT) If we are committed to live for Jesus, He will watch over our lives.

If we allow God to finish what He’s started in us, we’ll be more than pleased with the results, we’ll be amazed! If we’re willing to first trust Him, like Job, “GOD blessed Job’s later life even more than his earlier life.” (Job 42:12, The Message)

You may have had a rough start, even a troubled middle, but above all else, be committed to surrender fully to God and finish well.


Power of Pain

Even if we don’t see it, God knows the potential we have if we learn to process our pain. Pain can give us the strength and power needed to motivate us for good. God can transform the worst experiences we’ve gone through to give us full lives that are able to help and even heal others.

He also never meant for us to live out our lives with gaping holes in our hearts. The miracle thread suturing these emotional wounds is that whatever happens, no matter how horrible, it will work for our good if we are willing to love and follow God.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28, NKJV)

Today, love God and live your purpose!


Benefit of Pain

All the wounds in our lives have extraordinary value when we allow God to heal us. They become the doorways to His one-of-a kind destiny for our lives. God doesn’t just make all things work for our good—He allows all things to mold us into the people He created us to be.

Without suffering, we will only be shallow representations of whom God intended. I used to dread the emptiness of suffering, but now I honestly value the growth suffering has brought to my life. The long-term benefit of pain far outweighs the temporary grief it causes. As the Bible teaches, “…the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18, ESV)

Trust God! Embrace the pain! Enjoy the journey!


Suffering

The healing hand of our Creator can redeem absolutely everything we have ever gone through. Jesus intentionally allowed Himself to experience and overcome every temptation possible so that we would fully know He understands each of our struggles.

The Bible tells us that because Jesus “…has gone through suffering and testing, He is able to help us when we are being tested.” (Hebrews 2:18, NLT)

God isn’t worried that my suffering will cripple me forever; He’s fully confident that my struggles will help develop His character in my life. God even allows suffering to be so intense at times that we’ll do whatever it takes to get free.

Freedom is part of our destiny—we were made for it.

But, at times, suffering is the doorway to being free.


Doctorate in Depression

Before I was a Christian, I spent six months contemplating ending my life. At that time I thought I would never get through it. I was an atheist, recovering from a failed relationship, and suffering from what I called a “doctorate in depression.”

Was there any value in all I went through? Absolutely! Now I can empathize with people who feel hopeless and depressed.

God wants to heal you so completely that He will use every sadness in your past to help someone in your present. Nothing is ever wasted in God’s Kingdom. I am absolutely convinced it’s God’s will for every person to take what the devil meant for evil and see it transformed into good. (Genesis 50:20)

The way to reverse the damage done in our past is to allow God’s Spirit and truth to heal us in the present.
 
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kc990

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Flower and all to those in pain, I understand how it feels as I have felt the same myself and I am praying for you that you may be uplifted from this suffering. Don't blame God because this suffering is not his work, but the work of the Devil. He wants us to get mad at God and turn away from him. Don't give in! Have faith and trust in the Lord, because even in the longest darkest tunnel, there's a bright shining light that awaits you - and that is God! He has a plan for you. He made a promise with you for eternal happiness. All this suffering is all for spiritual growth. I know it may be hard, but believe me, he understands your pain completely. He knows. And you are never alone, hun, because he has been with you all along. As well as all of us here. God Bless!
 
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Chococat

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Sorry to hear you are feeling low again Petal:hug::hug::hug::hug:I don't think I can add anything to what other posters have said except to say that I can relate a lot to what you are going through as I am older than you and am single and childless though I have always longed to be a wife and mother. Also I don't work due to problems with anxiety/depression and therefore don't have a lot of money. My 2 closest friends both have children and grandchildren (one is married, the other divorced) and when they start talking about their families I feel so left out, like they are part of a "club" of which I am not a member. On top of that I get the distinct impression that one of them actually pities me which I HATE. I DO NOT WANT ANYONE PITYING ME AS IT IS DEMEANING AND DEGRADING!!! That makes me feel even worse. I can live with it except when I come across happily pregnant ladies like the one who posted a photo of her toddler talking to her "bump" on her FB page. Things like that do hurt though I know the lady did not do it on purpose.:sigh: Having said that I look around and see so many bad and abusive marriages and realise I would rather be single than in that situation. Also my 2 married friends have children who have messed up their lives and therefore causing my friends a lot of heartache and stress in the process. It's then that I realise the grass is not always greener on the other side!:preach: Also you are definitely not just taking up space on earth as you have been a great support and comfort to many here, myself included:hug::hug::hug::hug:
 
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srjoanna

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sweetie... this life HERE on earth is hard, Jesus didn't promise us an easy life.. Just take His example..

I do understand though..and staying positive is the hardest... for us...especially for us.. (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

You might know this song.. I think its beautiful... I hope you like it..

‪JJ Heller - What love really means - Lyrics‬‏ - YouTube
 
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aflower4God

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((((((((((((((((((((Power)))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((plumsink))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((tempera))))))))))))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((mr.runningfish))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((Chococat))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((((Criada))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((St.Joanna)))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((winter)))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((kc990))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((ns7)))))))))))))))))))))
Thank you all, Thank you for your prayers and WONDERFUL advice. Yes it is hard, I have my down days, but I try to keep my chin up and keep afloat in these trying times. Thanks to you all and your WONDERFUL ADVICE and PRAYERS.
Good news, is God did do something for me, He gave me the strength to contact my job coach and tell her my feelings AND I searched for more jobs, jobs that are hiring. I REALLY THANK GOD for that. I am so sorry for being angry at Him.
God bless you all and LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU ALL!!!!
((((((((((((((((((((((((MANY BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 
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