My prayers are with you MC! I recently lost a friend to suicide and a retired pastor friend to suicide. Do I believe they are in Heaven? Yes I do! Why? Because Christ died ONCE FOR ALL, and the only sin God will not forgive is blasphemy of His Spirit. Is suicide the answer? NO! God has hope for the hopeless and love for the loveless. He can conquer your greif and your pain. Both of my friends had a type of cancer and were in agony every moment. They gave up. They were lost in their moments of pain and took their life. To take one's own life is to take back from God what you have already given Him. My advice is to pray about where God would have you go and what He would have you do. There is NO situation too big for Him, and HE is just waiting for you to hand the keys back over to Him so He can let you rest while He drives. I have been at hopeless points in my life and while my problems were big to me, they were so small in comparison to the cost the my Savior paid on Calvary.
I leave you with a verse from Philippians 4:6-7:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supllication , with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
In other words...trust God to be faithful to the promises in which He made to you. He never promised us we wouldn't suffer, but He did promise us a home in Heaven once we perservered through the life on earth. Pray to Him and earnestly present your request to Him, and if it is His will then He will answer you. Hang in there! God loves you and He knows best for you.
There is no verse in the Bible about suicide being acceptable, or frowned upon for that matter, but all sin is forgiven once you become a Christian...a "TRUE CHRISTIAN".
FOMWatts<><