Remarriage after Divorce

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I'm separated and considering this very thing. There was promiscuous adultery, so I know that almost every Christian would agree that I have reasons and grounds. My problem is this: in all my study of Scriptures regarding divorce, every passage I have seen is addressed to the MEN. Scripture is very clear about the grounds for divorce if the WIFE is unfaithful, and that a man can "put away" his wife for adultery, but nowhere in Scripture is it ever described that a woman can divorce her husband (initiate the divorce, that is). Are we to understand that the Scriptures are meant for both genders, or is it only permitted for the husband to put away a wife, but wives are never permitted?

I hope you understand what I'm asking here, sorry it is so confusing here in print. It's harder for me sometimes to follow my train of thought in words!
 
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Johnnz

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Good question.In his teaching on divorce Jesus was addressing a specific Jewish practice of his day where a man could all to easily initiate a 'legitimate' divorce and take up with another woman that he now preferred. Although we can draw out principles of marriage from His teaching we must first understand it as Jesus intended it to be understood at that time.

John
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ArohaB

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The bible tells us to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. We can learn from what others did, but the main thing is that in our own situation, we are walking with God. I would rather have my own relationship with Him, and talk with Him MYSELF, than to know Him through the eyes of someone else. That way I will be able to do as He asks at any given time.
 
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dayhiker

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Million, Good observation.
I think you have to understand those divorce verses in the light that the Bible was writen in a very patriarchal system. Women didn't have many options or rights even. I think Mark version of what jesus said comes closest to using both genders. I've also read that one divorce paper from Bible times has been found that indicates that a woman initiated the divorse. So it wasn't absolute that only men could divorse their wives.
Its also interesting the adultery is defined in the Bible and in Greek culture as a man who has sex with a married woman. Adultery is is determined by is the woman married, not is the man married. Again this is because it was a patriarchal society.
 
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Johnnz

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Remember, Jesus was speaking to Jewish people living under Rome. Generally, only men in those societies could initiate divorce, largely because a wife was merely an extension of the husband's property. Thus we must be careful before generalising from the Gospels principles for all people for all time in that teaching. There are elements of widely applicable principles within those verses (marriage was always intended to be a permanent bond as an example) but not before we have understood the specific situation Jesus was addressing (see my post #22 above).

John
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Romanseight2005

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I'm separated and considering this very thing. There was promiscuous adultery, so I know that almost every Christian would agree that I have reasons and grounds. My problem is this: in all my study of Scriptures regarding divorce, every passage I have seen is addressed to the MEN. Scripture is very clear about the grounds for divorce if the WIFE is unfaithful, and that a man can "put away" his wife for adultery, but nowhere in Scripture is it ever described that a woman can divorce her husband (initiate the divorce, that is). Are we to understand that the Scriptures are meant for both genders, or is it only permitted for the husband to put away a wife, but wives are never permitted?

I hope you understand what I'm asking here, sorry it is so confusing here in print. It's harder for me sometimes to follow my train of thought in words!


There is also a statement about letting the unbeliever leave, and not being bound in such cases. That passage does refer to both genders.
 
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Jul 26, 2002
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Thanks for your insight everyone, very helpful. johnNZ, great to see your name again!

Rom8, we are both believers, that's not the issue. the issue is repeated adultery on my husband's part. and beyond that, it's about feeling that there's no real life back there with him. We spent too many years with no ambition, only excuses, he still has them.

I have begun to see a wider world in which I want to develop aspirations, set goals for myself. I don't even know how to do that, I've never done it before. I feel like I'm starting a whole life over, from the ground up. Humanly I could say, "it's time for MP to be finally happy after all this life of heartache", but is that reason enough to pursue a divorce?
 
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Romanseight2005

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Thanks for your insight everyone, very helpful. johnNZ, great to see your name again!

Rom8, we are both believers, that's not the issue. the issue is repeated adultery on my husband's part. and beyond that, it's about feeling that there's no real life back there with him. We spent too many years with no ambition, only excuses, he still has them.

I have begun to see a wider world in which I want to develop aspirations, set goals for myself. I don't even know how to do that, I've never done it before. I feel like I'm starting a whole life over, from the ground up. Humanly I could say, "it's time for MP to be finally happy after all this life of heartache", but is that reason enough to pursue a divorce?
People tend to jump right on the,"We are both believers bandwagon, but scripture tells how we can define that, and treat people accordingly.

First of all, carefully read this passage of scripture.
Matt 18:15-17

"Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.' 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
NKJV

The point is, people don't get all of the benefits of believers, when they are not behaving as believers. This doesn't mean that we judge people, but we are given permission to treat people as unbeleivers, when they are acting like them.

Here is another one.
1 Tim 5:8
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever .
NKJV


So, discern carefully whether or not your husband falls into this category. If he does, then the verses that apply to marriage with an unbeliever, will apply.
 
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Jul 26, 2002
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And if he doesn't?

Moreover, he's the one who declares he loves me and wants to reconcile. He owns up to his past, and shows remorse and contrition about it. I simply have very little faith left in his love or his devotion to me when things inevitably "go bad", aka aren't to his satisfaction, again.
 
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If Not For Grace

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a grandma who tells me i cant because my first husband must die first.

How many wives did King David Have? In biblical times divorce meant pretty much abandoning responsibilities + the fathers of the brides paid a "dowry" to the husband.
Divorce is Never desirable-but if two people do not grow together, they will grow apart. What is Marriage? Is is just staying under the same roof and living in misery in order to remian "legally" married or is it more than that. DIVORCE is not a peice of paper any more than marriage is. The paper only reflects what has already happened.
 
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FaithPrevails

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And if he doesn't?

Moreover, he's the one who declares he loves me and wants to reconcile. He owns up to his past, and shows remorse and contrition about it. I simply have very little faith left in his love or his devotion to me when things inevitably "go bad", aka aren't to his satisfaction, again.

The issue of repeated adultery is sufficient enough, IMO. Biblically speaking, not just b/c I think so.

There is no guarantee that he will change his ways and sometimes the repentance comes too late. KWIM? If you reached your breaking point before he was able to say he wanted to turn things around and the trust is broken to a point where you don't believe you can ever fully trust him again - then I don't think you are wrong for wanting to end things and create a life for yourself.
 
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ArohaB

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And if he doesn't?

Moreover, he's the one who declares he loves me and wants to reconcile. He owns up to his past, and shows remorse and contrition about it. I simply have very little faith left in his love or his devotion to me when things inevitably "go bad", aka aren't to his satisfaction, again.
ask God to give you wisdom.
 
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Jul 26, 2002
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Thanks Faith and aroha! Faith, you've said it right there, trust is broken to that point where I will always look sideways at him. I don't have complete respect for him as a man and as a husband.

ArohaB, I have asked God this very thing a hundred times. I am fairly confident I have my answer, and it sounds a lot like what Faith also said. I have felt great peace and comfort in deciding that my heart just does not belong to him, and that I can be greatly blessed in a new life.
 
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p.progress

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Paul's declaration (aka.: passage) in his letter to the Roman believers you cited is an unalterable statement of God's will. It is His established Way with respect to the nature of the "one-flesh" relationship. The wife is bound to her husband - for life, by that Law of God; and there is no getting around the strictness and the severity of all that the Creator God meant for it to communicate.

Further, contrary to many who teach otherwise, there is no exceptions to this rule which God established for his own reasons and purposes. The prohibition against a lawfully taken wife - once divorce (for whatever reason) - to "marry another" has not changed; nor is it by any means an outdated, outmoded notion; nor have these declarations vocalized by Paul long ago been made obsolete as the supposed result of societal 'changes' that occur in one culture or another, or from one generation or another.

It is a very serious matter to fail to grasp the significance and severity of the statements expressed by Paul. He is not giving his own opinion; but rather that of the Divine 'Opinion" of God. He is merely the messenger of God, reciting God's divinely established Will regarding these matters - which is, what God revealed regarding the permanent nature of the 'one-flesh' relationship He creates when He joins together a man and a woman as man and wife:

"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder",
"And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh",
"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
 
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LazerCat

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With all due respect iambren, that scripture is specifically addressing the issue of being married to an unbeliever who wishes to divorce or abandon a believer..not two christians seeking divorce. Thus, myself, you, and bella are all unbiblically divorced, and it IS a sin, as Christ said that the only justifiable grounds for divorce and remarriage is physical adultery.

im glad my last one cheated then lol. well not glad. im glad its ok in God's eyes.:thumbsup:
 
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p.progress

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Note: Not sure how long this will appear when posted. Hope you'll excuse if it appears 'too' long a post:

OP:
Can you only remarry IF your first spouse dies? What are you thoughts on what this scripture means:

Romans 7:2-3
For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.



Comments directed at post I found, cited below:

I remarried and my ex-husband is alive and kicking. I don't get into debates about the topic, so I won't share my opinions about the scripture. I simply go by what feels God-led and remarriage felt God-led.


This type of thinking process is a very dangerous one, this is especially so considering how clear and plain God's words are regarding what he says about the state of a woman (a wife) who after she has [a] either been divorced by her husband; or else she has divorced him, "she be married to another man". Such women are neither innocent, nor immune from God's judgement. No, instead she is clearly and plainly stigmatized (as it were) with a trade name: that of being "called an adulteress" - if they marry another, other than their still living first husband.


THE ENEMY'S WEAPONRY
You have to understand that the Enemy has many weapons in his arsenal to cause human beings to turn the truth of God into a lie.

It is one of the Enemy's deceptive devices to allure humans through the lust of their flesh. He cons those who want to be conned to do that which is off limits and forbidden by God. He does so by capitalizing upon the lusts he detects has yet to be crucified in that person. He frames his lies into promises of 'liberty'. He causes the individual to accept a belief which declares they are 'free to' and are even 'blessed' by God to do that which, if they were in their right mind, they would realize God has expressly forbidden to do or engage in. One prime example: such as marrying another, while one's rightful first husband is yet alive.



LED BY SUBJECTIVE 'FEELINGS' VS LEAD BY FAITH FED BY OBJECTIVE TRUTH
Those who adopt the notion and say: "I simply go by what feels God-led" are walking on very dangerous ground. This philosophy is not sound. It is not sound reasoning flowing out of a depth of knowledge and understanding of the scriptures and what they teach about the deceitfulness of the human heart; or the meaning of what is meant by the leading of the Spirit of God; or the call to test and subordinate all thoughts and things (teachings; notions; concepts; imaginations; etc.) to the Word of God that has the preeminence.

Search the scriptures: Where do they ever once use this type of language? No such concept is taught or to be even found in the scriptures. Conduct your own inquiry, you'll find the word 'feels' is not ONCE mentioned in the Word of God; and 'feel' is only used 7 times. But not once is this word ever used to speak of merely 'sensing' something, conjuring up a feeling or notion on a subjective level. Our personal 'feelings' are worthless. We are to know, think, prove all things via the written Word of God, which are the Living Oracles of God...living letters.

Without there being something of a concrete nature directly connected to what is being 'felt' for or after, one had best reject such thoughts and 'feelings'. Then turn to the more sure word of prophesy (the Word of God-scripture) and fortify our thoughts and 'feelings' with its declarations.

No where in the Word of God are believers taught, commanded, nor are they encouraged to follow what to their own mind (quote) "feels God-led". They are taught, commanded and exhorted to master the scriptures, so as to be able to correctly determine the meaning of ("rightly divide") the word of truth; so that in turn they can exercise sincere and knowledgeable faith in the words of God; in order to obey God's commands and follow after the Way of truth. One wonderful and reassuring byproduct of doing this is to be more alert to the dangers and pitfalls of being "led astray with the error of the wicked".

Faith is not feelings. And neither faith nor the meaning of scripture are based upon any individual's subjective novel musings ("private interpretation") or 'feelings', but rather upon "What saith scripture?"





I remarried and my ex-husband is alive and kicking...and remarriage felt God-led.

It may 'feel' so to you or others, but the scriptures teach otherwise.

Remarriage as it is widely taught and understood to mean, is nothing more than a myth (mutho: "fables"). Paul made this more than abundantly clear; as did the Lord when speaking to the religious leaders.

But while Christ's answers and declarations to the Pharisees obviously anticipated that there would be those who would seek to 'find' some kind of 'loop-hole' that would permit what they want in the way of a so-called 'right' to 'divorce and remarry'; there are plenty of passages that warn those who think they found such a thing, that no such promise or liberty exists.

Those warnings include the warning not to be deceived into believing that adulterers and adulteresses shall inherit the Kingdom of God. Realize that Paul was writing to those who professed to know God. So just as the Jews in Jeremiah's day thought they were eternally secure for several reasons - even though they were committing a host of sins, including adultery; so today many Evangelical Protestants, Charismatics and the like vainly think they are immune and have nothing to fear of being judged as an adulterer or adulteress. Since, in their way of thinking, they 'KNOW' they are 'saved', they believe that the grace of God is able to and even provided to turn their licentious acts of sin into sanctification.

Yet why do you think that Christ, then Paul and Peter and others warned of being deceived and of failing to inherit the kingdom of God?

"Examine yourselves whether ye be in the faith".



LITMUS TEST FOR TRUE FAITH
And the litmus test is not how you 'feel'. You must evaluate and balance your 'feelings' with an honest evaluation of your behavior, your lifestyle, in particular here, whether your walking in disobedience to the Word of God or obedience.

Meaning, if you have either divorced your husband or he divorced you, and you marry "another man" whether one day, one year or one or more decades later...while your first husband is still alive. Then by the authority of the clear declarations laid out in the scriptures concerning this area, it is neither a fearful nor cruel thing for me to call such women (professing believer or not) an adulteress, for that is what scripture calls them.

And taking into account the many warnings and condemnations regarding the sin of adultery throughout scripture, and right now especially with respect to those that Paul uttered concerning not entering the kingdom of God. It is a fearful thing not to warn such that they are in serious danger, whether they 'feel' they are or not. It would be cruel as well not to warn those of their failing to obtain what Christ said was "the Father's good pleasure to give" to those who love him and follow him and keep his commandments.

In conclusion. The grace of God is not a license to sin. If we sin, we are then to in confess them, and do so in humility and sincere contrition. In response, we are promised forgiveness and cleansing from our sins. But does God grant forgiveness and cleansing for sins that have not been repented of? No. So a woman is deceiving herself to think she is free to marry another man while your husband is still alive...even though she 'feels' she is or was at liberty to so.




"For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to [her] husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of [her] husband.


"So then if, while [her] husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man."


"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."


"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."


"And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."


"Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from [her] husband committeth adultery."





EXCEPTION CLAUSE: GRANTED TO THE HUSBAND ALONE​
In these above passages, the context makes it clear Christ was not establishing any kind of 'exception' clauses for women. The only 'exception' mentioned was granted to the husband.

The meaning of the phrase "except for fornication" is not specifically explained by Christ. There are five or so explanations that have been put forth by various individuals as to the meaning of this phrase.

But whatever be the precise meaning of "except for fornication" (whether he was speaking about unlawful close of kin unions; or previous undisclosed episodes of 'uncleanness' on the part of a betrothed wife that have come to light after the marriage/wedding; or how to deal with an unrepentant wife who plays the harlot with other men; a wife that plays the harlot as well by merely treacherously departing from her husband; etc.), what is clear is that [a] neither the 'guilty' wife who leaves her lawful first husband to marry another, nor an 'innocent' wife, 'dumped' for another woman by her lawful husband, is free to marry another - so long as her husband lives.

The exception is not referring to the sin of adultery - not specifically. In the case of a wife who goes off and "plays the harlot" by being with other men, she is certainly committing adultery of course. But the sin Christ speaks of is fornication, not adultery...different Greek word. So it may be referring to something else other than a married wife acting like a harlot, as previously noted. For it is understood that a woman betrothed is referred to and regarded as a wife, though not yet married or consummated. So a betrothed wife is not technically able to commit adultery against her husband if she were to be unfaithful during her espousal period. Instead, her sin would be understood and referred to as fornication or whoredom, "playing the harlot in her father's house".

My point though is whatever the sin is, whether it be the sin of adultery or whatever it is, the phrase "except it be for fornication" that appears to grant a 'right' to put away, is ONLY granted to the husband with respect to his wife. This 'permission clause' is NOT extended, and so is not intended for the wife to invoke with respect to her husband.

p.progress
 
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ArohaB

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Thank God we are no longer under law then huh... or no one would be forgiven ever! Considering "looking" at a woman to lust after her is considered adultery for a man. Is it any wonder we needed the death and resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, who is the only one that can sacrifice for our sins once and for all.. especially when man cannot do that for himself.
 
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p.progress

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Thank God we are no longer under law then huh... or no one would be forgiven ever! Considering "looking" at a woman to lust after her is considered adultery for a man. Is it any wonder we needed the death and resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, who is the only one that can sacrifice for our sins once and for all.. especially when man cannot do that for himself.

It is certainly a wonderful truth that those who have been redeemed, are no longer "under" it...that is "under the Law" or "under the curse of the Law"; which is saying the same thing from another vantage point of what it means to be "dead to the Law" and alive to Christ. But though no longer under [the curse of] the Law, this does not mean we are without Law.

Let us all bring to mind the fact that the Law of God was not, is not revoked, destroyed or done away with. The Law of God is the express Will and Way of God, written down for the behalf of man. It is "good, holy and just"...it is the Living Oracle from God's mouth. If a man could live by it from birth to death in all aspects, not just outwardly but inwardly in perfect unison, he as a perfect unspotted man would be able to enter the Heavens where God lives, rules and reigns and never die.

Of course the problem is that none have or ever will keep the whole Law perfectly without fail..............except for, save for one man, the Holy One of Israel, the man Christ Jesus. It was his ever consistent righteous living out to the fullest extent (and even more so) of His Father's Will [Law and commandments] that earned him his right to be called Lord and become Lord of all.

We can only look to what he has accomplished on our behalf: "as many as received him, to them gave he power (right) to become the sons of God"; and receive "the gift of God"..."the gift of righteousness".

Having said this though, we must be careful not to overstate what God's atonement provides. It certainly acts to take away our sins and transgressions, we've committed against God and his Law.

But the forgiveness of sins and the declaration that we are righteous in God's sight through the redemption that is in Christ, does not provide as in were 'diplomatic immunity' from continuing in sin. "Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid!"

There are numerous passages that warn believers not to sin; and not to think that their continuing in sin will not be severely dealt with. On that note. If the (local) Ekklesia will not implement the commands that require disciplinarian action to be taken against those who are clearly continuing unrepentant in sin; and if the unrepentant believer fails to heed the "rebukes of life" that are meant to turn them away from sin to sober living and righteousness: then after one's death, and on that One Day, where all stand to give account before the Throne of God (Judgment Seat of Christ), there will be fear and trembling for the sins yet not repented of.

So as wonderful as our having been redeemed from the curse of the Law is and the happy fact that 'we' are not under the Law, but in Christ; it is folly and dangerous in failing to be very careful with how we understand what God says in these things. If not careful, we can easily end up attaching foreign meanings to such phrases as "we are not under the Law" that act to contradict, undermine and overthrow the actual and precise meaning scripture gives for such terminology.



Now, to apply this to the above post:
Thank God we are no longer under law then huh... or no one would be forgiven ever! Considering "looking" at a woman to lust after her is considered adultery for a man. Is it any wonder we needed the death and resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, who is the only one that can sacrifice for our sins once and for all.. especially when man cannot do that for himself.

If by
"Thank God we are no longer under law then huh... or no one would be forgiven ever!"
, you mean "Whatever 'legal' requirement the scriptures imposes upon us to keep God's commandments and not transgress against them; we are thankfully not under any 'real' obligation to do so", I would argue that not being under the Law, does not mean you are free to transgress God's Law; nor that we will be held liable for transgressing against the commands of God.

GRACE NOT TO SIN
Grace is not a license to sin. There is not teaching found in the Word of God that promises freedom to break God's Law, absent of earning and suffering the consequences of doing so. Again, we have not been granted any kind of spiritual diplomatic immunity from transgressing the Law. The scriptures warn of those who will arise within the Ekklesia, and teach a strange concept of the grace of God. What the effect is, is that these "ungodly men" end up "turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness". What that translates into is what is being promoted by those who isolate phrases concerning not being 'under' the Law. What is being asserted is that there is no consequence to fear before God if you fail and even flat out completely ignore the prohibitions against doing (committing) what God commands not to do.

So though the scriptures clearly forbid and warn a husband not to commit treachery against "the wife of his youth" (by putting her away and divorcing her, in order to marry another - perhaps for a 'newer younger model'). Yet according to the teaching that interprets the 'we are not under the Law' (to mean something that it does not): such husbands are (bottom line) free to do the very thing these scriptures plainly declare God forbids to do.

And further, according to this aberrant 'we are not under the Law' interpretive teaching, a wife who either was treacherously abandoned, put away and divorced by her husband; or else she "treacherously" departed and divorced her first lawful husband: she too is lead to believe she need not fear the sober words of scripture which forbids, condemns and warns against doing so - in particular, marrying another while her husband is alive.

There is such a thing as "the error of the wicked", false teachings which believers are not immune from being "led astray" into swallowing and following. Peter warned his listeners of this danger. It is up to each of us who are sincerely seeking after God to be alert to the dangers we have been duly warned of by Christ, the apostles and the prophets of old to watch out for.

I judge that what I have been speaking about herein is one of those errors.


We are not under the Law. But what does that mean? Among other things, it means we have been delivered from the penalty the Law would have exacted upon us. And now, through Christ's work on Calvary and the gift of the Holy Spirit, we are told that we can now "fulfill the righteous requirements of the Law" - this means also, that we are not free to violate them.


DIVORCE: 'NOT THE UNPARDONABLE SIN'
It has been said and parroted that 'divorce is not the unpardonable sin'. But neither is lying, or stealing, or bearing false witness, nor any and all other sins great and small. No sin is unpardonable...so long as it is repented of. That is all it takes and that is all that God requires of us. True or not true? Not true. It is required of the repentant to also forsake their sin: "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh [them] shall have mercy."

In addressing the issue of divorce. It is not possible at times to avoid being involved in it even if you are the 'innocent' party in a divorce. If your spouse has so hardened their heart due to being either bitterly implacable or indifferent to you and your pleas, what can you do? They are able in this culture to divorce you without your permission. In such a case, who can rightly judge you as a guilty party if you are not the spouse pursuing this action, and you have given no occasion to their drive them to this. The sin is on the side of the one seeking the divorce. Which, at its root, there are a myriad of sins.

That is bad enough for the one seeking the divorce. It is altogether another issue though, if or when in addition either party afterwards pursues a relationship with another other than their *lawful spouse. [*Lawful throughout refers to the laws of God, not to the civil laws men frame; which are 'legal' in nature].

The sins associated and committed in the pursuing and obtaining of a divorce is separate and different from the sins associated and committed in the process of forming an emotional and physical relationship with another person other than your lawful spouse. Before anyone who marries another other than their estranged spouse, they have to first both meet than choose to build an emotional bond with that other person. Deciding to enter into a civilly recognized 'marriage' relationship is the natural progressive outcome of entertaining thoughts that are themselves forbidden by God to allow to take root within the mind. The sin(s) of adultery is committed way before the 'knot' is ever tied in these things.

So when you touch on the fact in your post that Christ revealed there is a deeper more subtle definition to the meaning of adultery, that previously escaped the notice of the teachers of the Law, it is here that we are exposed to the fact that adultery is not merely a sin that is easily identified by an obvious unlawful act. But that it is spawned in the darkness of the heart and mind. He said: "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."


EXPANDED MEANING OF CHRIST'S WORDS & THE NATURE OF MAN
Side note:
Now in regards to Christ's words. I would argue that Christ is not saying that lusting after any and all women results in the sin of adultery. The context is pointing to the fact that it is the lusting after and/or coveting of "thy neighbors wife" that is in view here.

That is not to say that if a grown man or teenage young man were lusting after an attractive mature or younger woman - and attractive unmarried woman that they are not in violation of the prohibition against fornication. Perhaps they are. For if mental adultery is committing adultery in the eyes of God and according to his definition; then you would think it would not be improper to apply that same principle to the sin of fornication. But I am not certain of this. It may depend upon the degree and intensity which the mind of the man is focused upon certain details that shall be left well enough alone.

What I am saying is that the way man has been 'hard-wired' with reference to his natural drive, desire, plus how and why he thinks the way he does about the female form and woman as a counterpart to himself, in contrast to how females think about men; it's not always 'a given' that for a man to look with desire on a woman...an unmarried non-wife woman, is automatically sinful. To think about another man's wife is not the same as thinking about another man's daughter (as all women are daughters of some man). Though to be sure to covet and desire another man's daughter can be sin, when it is done in an inappropriate way. But lets be honest. It requires desire for a woman on the part of a man, to cause him to take the first step in initiating a relationship with her. This is so, even in the most wholesome and pure pursuits to seek out a help meet for him. [Note: In seeking to initiate a relationship, the divine mandate and order is the man must seek and obtain the permission of the woman's father to pursue her. To ignore and violate this order is also a violation of the Law of God: The 8th, “Thou shalt not steal." The 10th, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's [including coveting his daughters]." And the 5th, "Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." The daughter is bound to honor her father. So if she would think to marry against his will, she would be guilty of not only violating the fifth commandment; she would be violating a number of other commandments.


OPINION IF YOU WILL - BUT NOT IN MY VIEW
The laws concerning vows (Exodus 20) is not something I believe was done away with, as we can plainly understand from the NT letters, to be the case concerning the ceremonial and priestly duties prescribed under the Law. Christ was the embodiment and fulfillment of those ordinances and they were put away because Christ is all of this for us and on our behalf. In Exodus we can read how the wife and daughter are under the jurisdiction of the husband and father. He not only possesses the right but more so the responsibility to nullify any vow or promise his wife or daughter makes, which he may consider to be untenable in his judgment.


Out of Time and room.

p.progress
 
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p.progress, how about the wife of a husband who committed adultery? All these Scriptures talk on and on ad nauseum about the unfaithful wife, but what about the other way around? I'm not trying to justify my position, I really do want to know what Scripture says specifically about it.
 
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