How do you come to that conclusion after reading God's word which speaks against that notion?
Hate is not evil. disobeying god is evil. We are told to love all men. So, for us hate is evil. God lives under no such requirement.
I come to this through uinversal passages such as 1 Timothy 2:4, 2 Peter 3:9, and Ezekial 33:11. Romans nine is directly after Romans 8:29,20, which speaks of God's foreknowledge being involved in a person's eventual glorification (and this is wonderful, because these four links are solid proof for OSAS). Everyone would agree that God is not speaking of everyone being foreknown in v. 29, for if this were the case, then salvation would eventually come to everyone. Calvinists (and I would agree) say that this speaks of those who God 'foreloved'. We see here that who God foreloved (that is, loved before their births in accordance with their works before they actually committed them) He also predestined; moreover, whom He predestined, etc. etc. This is a clear formula of how the elect are dealt with in scripture. Because God foreknows all of this, and this would include Romans 9, He is respecting our free will. It is an absolute contradiction to claim that God over-rides a person's free will unto condemnation, and then to come back and say that He desires all to be saved.
And it still stands that hate is in itself evil. If I get up and decide to hate someone 'blindly' - that is, without a care of their relation to me - then this is evil. With God, hate, and wrath, are expressions that are reflexive in terms of man's hate for Him. Perfect love cannot, in itself, hate. It can punish - and it is only perfect love that can punish perfectly. But God cannot hate someone regardless of their stand in life. He allows them to choose, and directs their steps according to it (Proverbs 16:9), using even the evil (Proverbs 16:4), and days of adversity (Ecclesiastes 7:14), of which were not 'originally' planned by God when He first created, for a better cause.
I never said all should go to heaven. All deserve Hell, but all who accept salvation are given everlasting life. Man may be spiritually dead, but He has eternity, and thus the yearnings for God, in His heart (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Because God has chosen to save a few, all are open to the request. God, being love, would not keep any out against their will. He desires all to be saved. He cannot over-ride a person's free will. There may be some seeming objections to this in scripture, but I believe all are handled out in accordance with a soveregn respect, by God, for man made in His image.
And in agreement with your verse, man would never choose God. It is God that must let man realize that He exists. But the instance that this happens is unknown, and only logically sound through the idea of honest searching. Egocentricism is a disease that too many refuse to be cured from, and that itself takes out an extreme percentage of those who would otherwise have the chance at salvation. When a sacrifice is given, it is up to those that were granted it to accept or reject it. And we see this all the time. Pride is what places a man in Hell. Not God.
Please (Please!!!!!) don't get the idea that I'm some wishy-washy Arminian. Anything but that. I prefer not to be labeled - I have tried arminianism, universalism, and calvinism for extended periods of time. Now I am leaning towards middle-knowledge in terms of God's election, but I do not hold to Molinism as strict doctrine. I just believe.
I hope this cleared some things up.
blessings,
John