Disagree vs. Upset

I'm the same way. I blame law school.

I know where you are coming from, to many "Sensitive Sally"s running around the boards.

On a side note I'd say it is most likely a cultural thing, and perhaps even more a family thing. Some people like myself grew up in a household were we constantly debated and argued ... but we still loved each other and it rarely crossed over into that, just wasn't personal. I know others whose experience is the polar opposite and they seem to always take disagreement as a personal slight.

culturally i'm Half Jewish, and the other half is mostly German and Scotch-Irish ... nothing but conflict there

K
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kingoffools13 said:

I know where you are coming from, to many "Sensitive Sally"s running around the boards.

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In my experience, a large amount of the people who are personally offended are just feigning it and combining it with the "no true scotsman" fallacy to get away with not having to defend, explain, or validate their beliefs.

IreneAdler said:

no true scotsman fallacy?

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from No true Scotsman - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Teacher: All Scotsmen enjoy haggis.
Student: My uncle is a Scotsman, and he doesn't like haggis!
Teacher: Well, all true Scotsmen like haggis.


It's usually used to call people who don't empathize with things like abortion wrong, uncaring, and inhuman people because they don't accept the reasoning.

Because when you're talking online you can't use tone or non-verbal cues to get across that you disagree but that you aren't attacking. You're depending on formatting and punctuation to do what eye-contact, body language, tone of voice and facial expression do so much better. Also, you say stuff to people online you wouldn't say in real life in ways you wouldn't say in real life because you are not face to face

I think it's not just the forums. I think some people are like that just in general. lol But like others have said, a lot of the times it's just either since we cant hear each other and have to go by what we type it gets kind of lost in translation. If someone confuses my posts for me being upset rather than just disagreeing with them, then sobeit.

some people take it personally when I disagree with them on things, probably because of my Scottish heritage - I'm a blunt person but I keep it away from the personal.

but as a rule I don't take it personally if someone disagrees with me. Unless of course they start throwing personal attacks against me while disagreeing then I start to suspect that it may be more than just a simple disagreement

IreneAdler said:

Why, when you are blunt in disagreeing with someone on here (CF) do they assume you're upset at them personally? Am I like the only one who can do that and really feel ZERO about the person who I'm talking to (as far as mad/upset/affronted/etc.)?

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I don't get upset other than maybe an eye roll. It's hard to express true emotion over a computer, but I just figure to each their own. We're all entitled to our opinions and we should just agree to disagree rather than bicker

It depends on how the person is using their language.

Sometimes, people can completely disagree in a civil manner. I never get bothered by such people. Then there are those that employ tactics of rhetoric or otherwise play games. They don't seem interested in the content or ideas actually being discussed, they simply want to make the other person 'look wrong'.

The classic CF example of this is the strawman, when a person ignores what someone says, then rearranges and completely mischaracterizes what someone says and then attacks that.

IreneAdler said:

or makes inferences from a statement that aren't there and goes after that?

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Are you saying that is what I do?

Why can't you discuss the topic itself? This is supposed to be a Christian forum and I am not really seeing any charity from you right now. I think you need to apologize.

IreneAdler said:

no (now I'm gonna go cry because you don't love me)

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That's because you never bought me flowers.