Women... what am I doing so wrong?

maybe you're not her type, maybe you come off as desperate or clingy. whatever it is... obviously who haven't met a good match for you yet.

what concerns me about your post is that you seem to think that because you think you look better than other men you deserve to have a beautiful woman at your side. Just remember though that just because a woman may talk to you and give you her number and texts, doesn't mean that she's interested in you that way or that you're entitled to a date.

its good you're aware of it though. that means you can start working on that and handing it over to the Lord.

Probably a hint of arrogance and desperation. Women like having friends. If they think you are only talking to them because you want to date them, it may be a turn-off (that would be a huge turn-off for me). If you don't want to be friends first before launching yourself into a romantic relationship, you seem desperate and impatient. You can't force romance and you need to understand that.

lol...when you become "friends"..

You immediately only have a 50% chance dating that person...

AS OPPOSED to... if you show your good qualities first through telling about yourself, you would have a better chance.

To sum it up, you have to go about it as a Non Needy person. What does that mean?
That means Jesus was right ....ALL YOU NEED IS HIM...and women get fustrated when you live your way like that...because they are so used to NEEDY guys...and they can't figure out why you don't "show interest" like other guys do.

Also another tip is...when you talk, Talk with a varyin tone so that it shows "emotion". Us guys talk with "facts" alot. When you talk with women...don't just state facts like:
"I went to the store and bought some chicken".

Instead, say it like this with VARYING tone in your voice, and don't talk like you're in a hurry. Pace your delivery

"I went to the new Whole Food market that opened up last week. It was awesome cause they had Sooooooo many varieties of Chicken...., i couldn't help myself but to just buy some thighs...some wings, marinate them in the sweet and spicy bbq sauce my grandma taught me, and Grill them with that charcoal fire grill that I bought for my uncle. "
^ in this, you show that you have good qualites. It shows that you like Food, you like to cook, you like to buy things for people. But most importantly, you have to have GOOD BODY LANGUAGE and how you SAY THINGS.

I hope this helps

"I know... and I think its great you pointed that out because its very true... I just am tired of being single and I get frustrated and when I get frustrated I don't think properly meaning I judge people and feel I am better then others.."

Watch out for that,

Matthew 23:12 "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

You think your good looking? Are you a model?

You think your athletic? Are you an olympian? NBA?

You think you have a career? Are you a millionaire?

Stop judging people because if you walk around with your head held high, God will bring you down, or you will find out your not the big fish in the pond that you thought you were.

My point is not trying to bash you but my point is to not look down on people you think are weird.

James 2:5 "Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?"

James 2:6 "But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court?"

1 Samuel 16:7 "But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

And btw being or looking good does that make you more desirable...

To be honest most women might hang out with a guy who is considered sub par because maybe they think good looking guys will cheat on them, act like they are better, etc.

Good looking people usually make you feel jealous anyways, there is so much more to life then looks. A guy is still a guy, you might think he is ugly but if he can get the job done and have a good attitude who really cares?

The biggest thing is to just enjoy being friends with them, make it something fun, like go to a movie, (lol I hate movies) Go to the forest, the beach, you can be creative.

Just have fun hanging out with them and talk about things of intrest. If it does not workout then hey, at least you talked about some cool things, perhaps learned something new that day and had alot of fun. Then you can continue to be friends and find even more friends until you find the right girl for you.

Also, it very well could be God wants you single for a season, for whatever reason. I mean people say very nice things about me, not just appearance but other qualities too. But I'm thinking God's put an invisible force field around me. It's as though I don't exist to single Christian men. My very dear friend, sort of the older brother and father in the Lord I never had, says that it's just that God has someone very special for me saved up somewhere, and when the time is right he'll come on the scene. It could be like that with you. Maybe I need more work done on me than I realize and God's behind the scenes doing it, and perhaps my guy needs work too. It may be the same thing for you--or not. But it's definitely worth contemplating and chatting with the Lord about.

Remember, "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." He won't leave you pining forever. He will either fill the desie or take it away. Either way, He's got great things in store for all who seek His will. That would be you!

Blessings,
A

ab8907 said:

I can get a phone number but not a date... you text me one day then randomly stop? We text text text then I ask you out and then no more texts... I mean what the heck?! I am starting to think God is not wanting me in a relationship because every single one just ends before a date... I am almost 22 I am good looking and have a career... I don't understand.. This is mainly me venting because it just keeps building up but man o man.. I am christian I treat women right I am charming good looking athletic I just don't get why I am single.. I know this is wrong but I see just gorgeous women with... again im sorry but ugly weird guys.. and I just think in my head how the heck does that work? I hope someone can shine some light on all this because I been having some baaaad days lately with this and now my back is messed up and missed some days of work.. ugh

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It could be worse: you could be ugly, have no personality or charm, and have no career like me. I'll be happy to trade with you any time.

Gwendolyn said:

Probably a hint of arrogance and desperation. Women like having friends. If they think you are only talking to them because you want to date them, it may be a turn-off (that would be a huge turn-off for me). If you don't want to be friends first before launching yourself into a romantic relationship, you seem desperate and impatient. You can't force romance and you need to understand that.

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This.

Don't make yourself too available to women. Hard as it might be for you the first few times, make women wait on you a bit. Give yourself a sense of "mystery" - that is, don't spill out your entire personality all in one setting. You'll make them want to know you more. This is not only advice female friends have given me, but advice I've acted out and seen good results in.

Thunder Peel said:

It could be worse: you could be ugly, have no personality or charm, and have no career like me.

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Seriously - shut up.

Edwards1984 said:

This.

Don't make yourself too available to women. Hard as it might be for you the first few times, make women wait on you a bit. Give yourself a sense of "mystery" - that is, don't spill out your entire personality all in one setting. You'll make them want to know you more. This is not only advice female friends have given me, but advice I've acted out and seen good results in.

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Eh, I don't like the "make them wait" thing. It reeks of manipulation. I like the, "let's all wait and build a friendship so that we know each other well before launching into a romantic situation" thing. I like to know people up front, and I have no patience for the "mystery" thing. But I'm not the usual sort.

ab8907 said:

I can get a phone number but not a date... you text me one day then randomly stop? We text text text then I ask you out and then no more texts... I mean what the heck?! I am starting to think God is not wanting me in a relationship because every single one just ends before a date... I am almost 22 I am good looking and have a career... I don't understand.. This is mainly me venting because it just keeps building up but man o man.. I am christian I treat women right I am charming good looking athletic I just don't get why I am single.. I know this is wrong but I see just gorgeous women with... again im sorry but ugly weird guys.. and I just think in my head how the heck does that work? I hope someone can shine some light on all this because I been having some baaaad days lately with this and now my back is messed up and missed some days of work.. ugh

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Do you ask them out by text? If so, I would advise you not to. It's an immediate turn off.

A lot of women like attention, even when they have no interest in the guy. Your best bet is just to be direct, if she won't set up a date and that's what you want there's no point in wasting your time.

Gwendolyn said:

Eh, I don't like the "make them wait" thing. It reeks of manipulation. I like the, "let's all wait and build a friendship so that we know each other well before launching into a romantic situation" thing. I like to know people up front, and I have no patience for the "mystery" thing. But I'm not the usual sort.

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It's a species of dishonesty, and recipe for frustration and hurt feelings, to build a faux friendship when you want to date someone. It also reeks of leading someone on when you build a "friendship" knowing they want something else. Not to mention an easy way to make yourself out to be the good guy when they discontinue the relationship.

Gwendolyn said:

Eh, I don't like the "make them wait" thing. It reeks of manipulation. I like the, "let's all wait and build a friendship so that we know each other well before launching into a romantic situation" thing. I like to know people up front, and I have no patience for the "mystery" thing. But I'm not the usual sort.

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I only use those terms because there's no other way to word it

I simply mean don't text them every stinkin' hour after you've just met them, or (as a buddy of mine mistakenly did once) ask them out for coffee three nights in a row. Let some time exist between points of contact. It will help in the long run.

yeah there's a difference between intentionally trying to create intrigue to manipulate interest (or the show-interest-then-drop-and-repeat routine) and just not smothering the person with attention. the first is dishonest, the second allows the person to breathe and attraction to grow slowly and naturally.

I mean when you first met your friends, you weren't hanging all over them every second of the day trying to get their attention. The same logic applies to meeting women. You can't force a relationship in either case.

I don't get the "clingy" thing. I can not imagine ever seeing a woman as clingy. She's someone I like and she wants to spend as much time with me as possible, and I tell her no, go away? Really can't see that happening, ever.

HighwayMan said:

I don't get the "clingy" thing. I can not imagine ever seeing a woman as clingy. She's someone I like and she wants to spend as much time with me as possible, and I tell her no, go away? Really can't see that happening, ever.

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You will when she takes you wanting to spend ten minutes with your friends as a sign the relationship is over.

wait, wait, wait... you mean thats not true?