Can I support this?

Okay I don't know where to put this. My brother posted on Facebook that he expects everyone to support his decision to have a child out of wedlock and I know his current situation. They haven't been on their own together for at least a full year. They've had to move back in with their parents already because their income faltered and they had no way to maintain their 300 dollar a month apartment on dual incomes.

So he says either say something positive on his status or be in support of this or pretty much never see their child...

I don't know if this belongs in the political subforum because I am mentioning welfare but here goes:

I do NOT think welfare is thieving from the taxpayers as one user said to me in one of my own threads. However I do believe that being on food stamps and other forms of government assistance puts you in a bad position to "try" and have children. His girlfriend is not yet pregnant he just jumped on the "I'm gonna play Daddy at 22 years old and expect everyone to be in full support of this while I am struggling to feed myself and since I am not married."

Again I think there is a situation where government assistance (although a flawed system IMO) IS necessary and I do not get my draws in a knot when I see someone using foodstamps at the check out. In fact it doesn't even cross my mind to question or judge. So before anyone can say I hate poor people (of which I am one) I just want to put that out. I DO think the system is flawed but won't get into that.

I mean really? Should I just ignore him? I obviously cannot go around throwing scripture at him and telling him I do not support this kind of thing. I know I have kids and my life isn't in the best conditions all the time. I was, however married, and I did not announce to everyone that I am going to TRY on having kids and while I'm at it you better support my decision or get lost.

BAFRIEND said:

congradulations on your illigitimate niece/nephew

why someone would put their own child through that shame i will never know

Click to expand...

The thing is they are not even pregnant yet. They just want us to support their trying to get pregnant. IMO I think its stupid to announce on facebook that two unwed people who haven't been stable for a full year and have only been living together for a few months are going to try to conceive. Then expect everyone to support it.

This is not how you prepare for marriage if this is what they think.

Well my mom supports this but then again my mom is supportive of gay marriage so whatever.

My dad supports it too but he hates the Catholic Church and steered my other brother away from a Catholic wedding because
A: It takes too long
B: my brother and his at the time girlfriend would actually have to practice...chastity!! The horror.

Mine doesn't support me. I'm Catholic my dad is always makin fun of the Church. Soon as his son fornicates and wants to try to have a child well he supports that. Catholics can take a hike though.

I love him I just definitely think that trying to conceive is not the right thing for him right now.

I tried to tell him to wait a year. She is morbidly obese and I think it is not only an unstable situation but an unhealthy one. I am not saying heavy people can't have kids or shouldn't. I just know the health concerns behind a woman her size trying to conceive now. I told him in my best way to help her get fit and then in a year reconsider this notion when she is healthier. I told him to ask any obstetrician if this is an advisable action considering her weight and size. I said "Don't take my word for it ask her gynecologist" I told him all the risk factors involved with an over weight or even worse an obese woman getting pregnant. My disclaimer was to say "I am not calling your gf fat or disgusting or anything I think that if you want to conceive you will do it in healthier circumstances this is best for her and her preborn child" I also told him if they work on her weight together that it might not take more than a year or two and he is so young that there's no rush to have a child now. I included "Get married first" in there. He is 22 years old he should not be in such a hurry. I think he's got a bunch of ideas swelling up in his brain about the joys of fatherhood. My dad even says my brother is not ready for this. I thought he supported it cuz that's what my mom said but she was mistaken.