"Sigh" doesn't say it...

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KenOGar24

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Have you ever felt so alone and that you don't belong (anywhere) that you don't know what to do? That you know what is right and what you should be doing (on the GRAND scale - like daily Bible study and time with GOD) and honestly love Jesus with all your heart but still just can't seem to get things together? That your internal struggle that Paul talks about finds your flesh becoming stronger and your Spirit weaker?

I watched a movie once in which a man was given a drug that made him appear dead by all physical signs and yet he was alive and aware of everything that was happening to him. He was aware of his loved ones weeping over him (not that I have a parallel there) and he was aware when they put him in the coffin and buried him. He was aware yet helpless to do anything. He screamed and yelled in his mind but it did no good. Nobody heard him. And so, he died.

Has anyone else ever felt like that? Have you ever in despair wanted for God to just take you home?

I was just curious...

"I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands." Psalm 119:176
 

Blackwing

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To tell you honestly im arriving to that situation right now and im on the brink of just breaking down.

Confused is more like it and I have trouble really of what am i doing with the ministry that God entrusted to me and the hold of this world that's eating my consience.

Pray for us who are troubled and to seek the counsel of the holy.

My life is getting to be a rel mess.

Thanks
 
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Martin

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It's difficult to give specific advice to you when we're not in face-to-face contact, but I will offer some general advice which I hope will help you:

1. Spend some time thinking about Jesus - meditate/focus on Him, make Him the centre of your thoughts.
Look up some scriptures about Him if you wish.
Think particularly about the evidence of His love for you by going to the cross (taking the punishment that was due to you etc, etc).
Thank the Father for His love for you - and receive His love (this last element point to be difficult for some Christians, mainly, I think, because they think that they are unlovable - which is a total lie).

2. Give thanks and praise to the Father for adopting you as His child - for choosing you! Give Him your love and let Him love you.

3. Share your heart with God - tell Him how you feel (he actually knows already, but telling Him helps you to know that He knows). BE HONEST with Him.

4. Ask Him to restore you in your relationships with others or the ministry in which you think you have failed. Ask Him to give direction to your life.

5. Tell Him that you want to do whatever He asks and be ready to go with Him.

The results depend on who you are for God deals with each person individually, but He will respond to you.

Be patient - sometimes God respoinds immediately, but it is more likely that it will take a few days for things to begin to turn around. Most importantly, have confidence that God will not leave you where you are if you are willing to believe that He will respond to your prayers.

It grieves me to think of you (or any brother of sister) struggling. My prayer is that God and you will be able to get it together.
 
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KenOGar24

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As I think about the way things are for me right now, I think I am beginning to see that there is a purpose for all that is happening. I have SUCH a long story to tell and am desperately needing someone to tell FACE-TO-FACE who actually wants to listen. Unfortunately (As much as I love this forum and all who are my brother or sister in Christ here) this forum is not the ideal place. I know GOD has a plan for me. I know my situation - the lonlines and feeling like I don't belong - is part of His plan. The problem is that there are times that I don't handle my situation well and turn to other things ("benign" distractions such as TV or internet or anything that takes my focus off of GOD) to try and fill the perceived hole I feel in my soul. God has restored me in the past and I know that He has not forgotten me. I love Jesus (even though I feel guilty sometimes even saying that because of the sin that has, at times, bound me). I know that my ways are wrong and that everything GOD does is right, and so may I NEVER try, kmowingly or unknowingly, to justify anything that I do that is unpleasing to God. Change my heart O God, make me ever new. change my heart O God...may I be like YOU.
Thank you all for the encouragement. A little really does go a long way...
 
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KenOGar24

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Originally posted by Blackwing
To tell you honestly im arriving to that situation right now and im on the brink of just breaking down.

Confused is more like it and I have trouble really of what am i doing with the ministry that God entrusted to me and the hold of this world that's eating my consience.

Pray for us who are troubled and to seek the counsel of the holy.

My life is getting to be a rel mess.

Thanks

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Oh how we need someone to be accountable to...I'm praying for GOD to send me someone to be accountable to and vice-versa.
 
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