no peace

Musician4Jesus said:

There are so many problems in my life that I have no peace.

Half the time I wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares of
thoughts of suicide, which I struggle chronically with.

I have no hope or faith that things will get better, because they don't, regardless of how hard I try, and I do try.

I've tried everything I can think of to improve my life, but nothing seems to help.

I've been debating renouncing my faith as a Christian.

People tell me 'lay your grievances and burdens before God'. I've done that
but I'm still angry with him and still don't trust him even after doing this in prayer.

Something I've struggled with since a Christian is that I feel the devil attacking me; he deceives me saying that I'm praying to him (praying to the devil) even though I know I'm not. I can't talk to non-Christians about this, they just don't understand.

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Talk to God, he will understand.

Musician4Jesus said:

There are so many problems in my life that I have no peace.

Half the time I wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares of
thoughts of suicide, which I struggle chronically with.

I have no hope or faith that things will get better, because they don't, regardless of how hard I try, and I do try.

I've tried everything I can think of to improve my life, but nothing seems to help.

I've been debating renouncing my faith as a Christian.

People tell me 'lay your grievances and burdens before God'. I've done that
but I'm still angry with him and still don't trust him even after doing this in prayer.

Something I've struggled with since a Christian is that I feel the devil attacking me; he deceives me saying that I'm praying to him (praying to the devil) even though I know I'm not. I can't talk to non-Christians about this, they just don't understand.

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2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

2 Corinthians 12:10 "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Luke 21:19 "By standing firm you will gain life."

Hebrews 10:35-36 "So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded."

For suicidal thoughts,

Ecclesiastes 7:17 "Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool--why die before your time?"

Jesus knows how it feels he experienced emotions too.

John 2:16 "To those who sold doves he said, "Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father's house into a market!"

Anger

John 11:35 "Jesus wept"

Tears

Matthew 4:6 "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down. For it is written: "'He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone."

Temptation

Matthew 26:34 ""I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times."

Betrayal

Luke 22:64 "They blindfolded him and demanded, "Prophesy! Who hit you?"

Mark 15:34 "And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?)”

Rejection, Pain, Crucified. Jesus understands pain, he understands what you are going through you have to have faith that he understands.

John 3:33 "The man who has accepted it has certified that God is truthful."

Where will your faith take you? What would happen if you were in outer space? What would happen if you were deep under the water or in a giant fish like Jonah? What if you were underground or up in the sky on an airplane? What if you were hanging in the sky on a tight rope?

Would you say Jesus save me? We all have to die someday, we need more then a cereal box faith, or will you say Jesus I do not believe in you, I will put my faith in random events instead. Please do not give up the faith, please hold on. God loves you and cares for you deeply, if he did not with hold is one and only son what else would he not hold back?

John 1:16 "From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another."

1 Peter 2:24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”

Galatians 3:13 "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree."

Galatians 3:14 "He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit"

Isaiah 49:6 "he says: "It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth."

Isaiah 53:2 "He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him."

Isaiah 53:3 "He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not."

Isaiah 53:4 "Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted."

James 4:7 "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Also remember to know scriptures when your tempted, that is what Jesus did. Also are you born again of the Spirit?

John 3:6 "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit."

If not then go to Church and confess Jesus as Lord and be baptized for the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Acts 2:38 "Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."

I really hope this helps you out! Please do not give up!

Perhaps rather than talking, we should be listening.

What is it that you worry about? Is it your loss in faith, or is something happening that is upsetting you? You don't have to tell us specifics, but I think it would help if we knew what was at the core of your distress.

Musician4Jesus said:

There are so many problems in my life that I have no peace.

Half the time I wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares of
thoughts of suicide, which I struggle chronically with.

I have no hope or faith that things will get better, because they don't, regardless of how hard I try, and I do try.

I've tried everything I can think of to improve my life, but nothing seems to help.

I've been debating renouncing my faith as a Christian.

People tell me 'lay your grievances and burdens before God'. I've done that
but I'm still angry with him and still don't trust him even after doing this in prayer.

Something I've struggled with since a Christian is that I feel the devil attacking me; he deceives me saying that I'm praying to him (praying to the devil) even though I know I'm not. I can't talk to non-Christians about this, they just don't understand.

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Why are you angry with God?
What kinds of nightmares are you having?

What kinds of improvements to your life are you endeavoring to achieve?

If I knew the answers to these questions, I could better assist you in how to solve this dilemma. As it stands, I will pray for you in the meantime.

Father God, deliver this brother of mine from the hand of the evil one. Cause Musician4Jesus to see and comprehend those things which are hidden from him. Help him, Lord in the ways only You can. Give him a new life.... an abundant life. Teach him quickly what it is he should know. Keep the enemy away from his home, his mind, his relationships, and his work. Create a new day for him in Jesus name. Amen.

Ask Jesus to give His "Shalom" (Hebrew for Peace) since HE is the Prince of Shalom (Peace). Only God and the Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit can give you true Peace of Mind. May the LORD God richly bless you!

When life crowds in on you it distracts you and takes away your quiet time with God.

God is still there listening to you in the night when awful thoughts fill your mind and take your sleep. Depression can rob people of hope it eats away joy yet God is still there with the broken hearted.

The cross of Christ can take anger, bitterness and pain for it carried all of our sins. You can yell all your heartfelt anquish out to God for God is God and God has never once turned away from those whose hearts cry out to God. Such cries go straight to God for all the accussar would whisper to you otherwise.

Is there anyone IRL at your church you could try and chat to about this and ask for some support?
Often it is not a case that people do not care its simply they have no idea that your in pain unless its something they can physically see and if you hide your pain well they will not know.

May God through Christ bless you with what you need to begin to know wholeness.

Simple as that.

Musician4Jesus said:

I'll break up my answers in segments:

How am I trying to improve my life?

Basically I'm just trying to find a job; so I can build money towards
doing what I'd like to do, and so I can eventually move out on my own.
However the employment market is so bad here that jobs are few-and-far
between; what few jobs are available, they're too far away from where I live
to be able to work at them.

I've put in more applications than I count, followed up on interviews that I receive (and go to them), as well as call back about applications I've submitted. All to no avail; I try and try and try, and despite doing so, it's an act of futility.

It doesn't help that to add more pressure, everybody wants somebody who has experience and some type of formal education (as in some type of degree). Nobody is willing to hire somebody with no experience or take a chance on somebody with
no experience. I'm not making assumptions, I'm speaking from past experience
in attempts to find employment.

what kind of nightmares am I having:

As stated before, thoughts of suicide; in addition to that, I just get plagued
with all the problems in my life overwhelming me.

The past few years in a row of my life, I feel like I've gone thru all of this stuff all alone. I've had no friends really to help bare the burden. Ones who were close with
friendships, they've developed their own lives so they've just let the friendship drift.
As a result, I feel like I might as well not exist, because I'm treated as invisible; whether
intentional or not it still hurts. It doesn't help when christians say "well with as miserable to be around as you are, no wonder they don't want anything to do with you". I wouldn't be so fed up and disgusted with people and friends if I were to be treated like a human being. If a friend is a friend, they don't ditch you cause you're going thru a hard time and acknowledge pain, suffering, sorrow, hardships, etc.

Christians judge me and assume that the reason things aren't getting better in my life
is because I'm not trying hard enough, because if I were, then things would be improving.
Either that or they assume I'm just wallowing in self-pity and have done nothing
to try and improve my life. Things are already difficult enough as is in my life;
when Christians start judging me and acting self-righteous and arrogant, it just
exacerbates an already difficult situation for me.

Based on how so called friends have treated me, I'm very reluctant to make
new friends. I'm just afraid that the friendship will become decent and develop and become close, then they'll just allow it to drift and once again I'll be treated as invisible.

I don't know what else to anticipate occurring, because this has been the way things
have gone for me with friendship for years in a row.

I cannot find people who share interests that are my age. Either I find ppl who share my interests, but there is an age gap, or I find ppl my age, but we share no common interests. To me for a friendship to work, there has to be more in common than
we just share the same faith and worship and love the same God. Otherwise, there
is no connection on a deeper lvl.

People offering me advice is great, but I need help more tangible than that. Somebody actually helping me the way I need it. I don't expect people to live my life for me, but
I cannot deal with all these problems by myself; it's too hard and too overwhelming.
I've tried to improve things and my life by myself, it's just too difficult.

I don't know how to believe things will get better, because they never do for me.
This happens for everybody else I know but never for me. I don't know how
to look at the good things in life, because nothing is going right. Even the blessings I do have, they're blessings-in-disguise. Focusing on how much worse off others have it,
doesn't mitigate the impact my problems are having on my life.

I know the Bible says that life will be difficult-hardship, pain, sorrow, adversity, etc.
However it says that God rewards those who are faithful to him. I also fail to see where the Bible says all life is supposed to be is hardship, pain, sorrow, adversity etc.
This has been my life for as long as I can remember, even when I was a kid.

I don't trust God because if he calls you to something, and you pursue it with pure motives (love for him, worshiping him, being faithful and loyal to him, etc.) that eventually it will come to pass and fully manifest itself in your life. Yet when I did this, my life ended up in shambles.

I prayed and waited for signs of what I thought he called me to. I was faithful and served him in what i believed were opportunities to serve him in what he called me to. The last person I was thinking about was myself-I was doing so out of love for God, and to help others.

I know I have sins in my life-anger, jealousy, bitterness, being cynical.

However just "talking to God about it, and casting my cares before him" doesn't work.
I still feel angry with him, I still don't trust him.

He says he loves and cares about me, but if such is the case, how come I cannot catch a break, and have one thing go right in my life?

I'm so tired and so frustrated and just fed up and overwhelmed. Everything seems hopeless.

I don't stay alive for my sake, but for others. I just don't see the point in even living; there is nothing to look forward to when I wake up, just problems and more problems.

Yes I've sought counseling, it didn't help at all. As far as actually putting forth work, effort, time energy, etc. for what I believe God has called me, yes I've done so. I've been studying Japanese for years to try and preach the message of the gospel to them in their own language; this is what I believe God has called me to.

Also to share the love of Christ to them via music; i learned to read music and can play flute. I tried serving in music ministry at church, but when I started to do so, I could no longer attend as there was no way for me to get there.

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Ill tell you one thing that the Lord told me you need to do to bring some peace into your life.

Honor thy mother and father.

That would be a good starting point.

And it brings great rewards.

Musician4Jesus said:

There are so many problems in my life that I have no peace.

Half the time I wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares of
thoughts of suicide, which I struggle chronically with.

I have no hope or faith that things will get better, because they don't, regardless of how hard I try, and I do try.

I've tried everything I can think of to improve my life, but nothing seems to help.

I've been debating renouncing my faith as a Christian.

People tell me 'lay your grievances and burdens before God'. I've done that
but I'm still angry with him and still don't trust him even after doing this in prayer.

Something I've struggled with since a Christian is that I feel the devil attacking me; he deceives me saying that I'm praying to him (praying to the devil) even though I know I'm not. I can't talk to non-Christians about this, they just don't understand.

Click to expand...

It sounds like you could have a condition called Scrupulosity, or religious OCD...that's the medical term,but I believe it is demonic myself. I have had it for several years in a different degree....mine is cursing voices in my head, and unable to believe I am still saved. It's literally Hell for a Christian to go through, I know!

I'd like to show you a website that has really helped me a lot-it's got tons of links on this subject (Scrupulosity) Please check it out, and the owner of the website will answer any questions you have as well.

A search index of inspirational biblical teaching, help and encouragement for born again Christians: Theologically sound spiritual resources exalting the Lord Jesus Christ

Also, there is an absolutely wonderful book that goes over this, and any objections about salvation and demonic thoughts. It's called "Come and welcome to Jesus Christ" and it's by John Bunyan who also had the condition. Martin Luther King had it also.

I think the whole thing is if our minds aren't being continually renewed, it's a lot easier for evil spirits and our flesh to take over. I know-I struggled for 3 years with horrible thoughts, and still occosaionally have had them recently. When I get them now, I just start praising the Lord and playing worship music.

I'm going to try and help you.

Musician4Jesus said:

I'll break up my answers in segments:

Basically I'm just trying to find a job; so I can build money towards
doing what I'd like to do, and so I can eventually move out on my own.
However the employment market is so bad here that jobs are few-and-far
between; what few jobs are available, they're too far away from where I live
to be able to work at them.

Click to expand...

The time is coming when no one will be able to buy or sell anything without having the mark of the beast. Christians need to wake up and realize this. His true followers especially need to realize that their worldly ambitions may not be fulfilled because God doesn't want to strengthen your ties to the world. You cannot serve two masters.

The past few years in a row of my life, I feel like I've gone thru all of this stuff all alone. I've had no friends really to help bare the burden. Ones who were close with

Click to expand...

friendships, they've developed their own lives so they've just let the friendship drift.
As a result, I feel like I might as well not exist, because I'm treated as invisible; whether
intentional or not it still hurts. It doesn't help when christians say "well with as miserable to be around as you are, no wonder they don't want anything to do with you". I wouldn't be so fed up and disgusted with people and friends if I were to be treated like a human being. If a friend is a friend, they don't ditch you cause you're going thru a hard time and acknowledge pain, suffering, sorrow, hardships, etc.

Click to expand...

Being alone really sucks. I too feel such loneliness at times. The only time I never felt alone was when I attended AA and alanon meetings. And then I screwed that up because I was afraid it was leading me into a mystery religion. Only there did I learn to admit my own shortcomings. It was I who was never a good friend to anybody. I burned bridges and let friendships wither.

Based on how so called friends have treated me, I'm very reluctant to make

Click to expand...

new friends. I'm just afraid that the friendship will become decent and develop and become close, then they'll just allow it to drift and once again I'll be treated as invisible.

Click to expand...

Turning the other cheek is so hard to do. Your words remind me so much of how I used to think when I was in my youth. Remember God loves even those who hate him. Since we are to be like him, you're already halfway there if you think you're being ill treated. Keep being a friend to them. This is the Godly thing to do.

I don't know what else to anticipate occurring, because this has been the way things
have gone for me with friendship for years in a row.

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Expectations are premeditated resentments so expect nothing. Like the bible says, 'take no thoughts for the morrow'. Easier said than done but as long as we keep practicing, that is all that is expected of us.

I cannot find people who share interests that are my age. Either I find ppl who share my interests, but there is an age gap, or I find ppl my age, but we share no common interests. To me for a friendship to work, there has to be more in common than

Click to expand...

we just share the same faith and worship and love the same God. Otherwise, there
is no connection on a deeper lvl.

Click to expand...

There is no deeper level than God. I used to have the same complaints. Now I purposely seek out the company of the older and wiser generation.

People offering me advice is great, but I need help more tangible than that. Somebody actually helping me the way I need it. I don't expect people to live my life for me, but

Click to expand...

I cannot deal with all these problems by myself; it's too hard and too overwhelming.
I've tried to improve things and my life by myself, it's just too difficult.

Click to expand...

I think you need to start by realizing that nothing outside yourself needs improving. You don't need to DO anything. You don't need to move out, make money, make friends. You just have to BE and be Grateful just to be. Start just by saying thankyou to God whenever you pray, for whatever little thing. Alot of people tend to treat God like a genie in a bottle and ask him to do this and do that. We're supposed to do HIS WILL.
'Father, THY WILL be done, THY kingdom come!'

I know I have sins in my life-anger, jealousy, bitterness, being cynical.

Click to expand...

Me too, friend, me too.

I don't stay alive for my sake, but for others. I just don't see the point in even living; there is nothing to look forward to when I wake up, just problems and more problems.

Click to expand...

Start living in today. Not the past and future. Live only for today.

Yes I've sought counseling, it didn't help at all. As far as actually putting forth work, effort, time energy, etc. for what I believe God has called me, yes I've done so. I've been studying Japanese for years to try and preach the message of the gospel to them in their own language; this is what I believe God has called me to.

Click to expand...

What kind of counselling have you sought? That is awesome that you can speak another language. AA worked for me, have you tried anger management?

Also to share the love of Christ to them via music; i learned to read music and can play flute. I tried serving in music ministry at church, but when I started to do so, I could no longer attend as there was no way for me to get there.

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I think you should try harder to attend. If it is God's will that you serve in music ministry, he will provide the way, you just have to want it. You can't fool God. If you really, really wanted to go, I know He will provide for the way.

Hate to break it to you but it sounds like all your misery is due to selfish ambition. That usually tends to be the case for me.

You're so blessed to know Japanese and play the flute. I want to serve God and I have absolutely no skills at all. I hope you will wake up and realized how blessed you are.

The OP is signed as a "she" not a "he".

Suggest looking into the potential freeing effects of prayer and fasting.

You can read some about it here at CF at - Fasting - Christian Forums

Jesus correlated a "deaf and dumb" spirit with needing prayer and fasting for deliverance sake.

The case in Scripture was an extreme one, but it appears many, if not all of us have been evilly affected by such a spirit at some point in our life.

And the effect it appears to have is one of blocking us from being able to hear God's Voice, thus preventing us from speaking His Word with personal conviction of the truthfulness thereof.

Hence, the deafness and the dumbness.

Study up on the subject of prayer and fasting, (if unfamiliar), it can be a bit dangerous...but it has proven to many to be well worth the risk.

Receive my instruction, and not silver; and knowledge rather than choice gold.
For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it. <-----> Proverbs 8:10+11

And May The Lord Be Pleased to Bless !

wm

Hi
I would like to offer two bits of advice (if your in Australia I possibly could help practically).

When I lost a child the last thing I felt like doing was praising God. Yet because the bible tells us that God is worthy of praise at all times I made the decision to praise him. It wasn't long before the healing started. Obviously didn't happen overnight but rather took time but that was a huge first step. There is power in praise as well as prayer.
While on prayer I think one should spend no less than 30 minutes in prayer at least once per day. Longer if possible. I have found the best results come from listening to God and that happens when I play a praise and worship cd (sometimes sing along) and then praising God and thanking him for who he is. After this I aim to spend at least 15 minutes in silence listening to see if God is saying something to me (when praying use words only if neccesary) and after that then I might ask for one or two things. However after doing that I find I am more in tune with God. That I have not been doingthat lately is reflected in my life for the worse.

Another helpful tool is meeting up with people. Is the minister or another church worker happy to spend half an hour with you each week discussing nothing but how your walk with God is going? It would be better if you could make a friend who you get to know well enough to do this with but from what you've said that is not an immeadiate option. Once again this helps us to grow. It helped me greatly so perhaps it might work for you as well.

If your in sydney or brisbane in australia or in southern england then I could suggest some churches where I know they will go out of their way to help. One member of a church I used to attend drove 40 minutes to pick me up then another hour to take me to the hospital my wife had been rushed to and then drove me home at 1am in the morning. If nobody in your church is willing to pick you up and get you to church then there is a problem with the church. Of course I am assuming you have asked. If not perhaps you should.