Big question....?

  • Thread starter bexliveforjesus
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bexliveforjesus

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Hey guys, Im 19 and am a 'young leader' in my local church and have been for the past 3 years.
over the past year I have been trying to disciple 2 young girls who would say they have been christians for around 5 or 6months.
The other day one of them said something that was abit out of order, and no excuses but I was having a very bad day so I kind of snapped at her. I didnt shout, but just sort of made it clear that I wasn't too impressed. Things were fine after that for a few days, but now she has become incredibly depressed and has told me shes not a christian any more and doesnt ever want to come to church again.
This is probably going to sound really arrogant of me, but Im basically worried that she depends alot on me to the point where if we have an argument then her faith kinda goes out the window too. Hmm not too sure if Im making any sense here.

So basically my question is how do we as christian leaders (or even as christians) get the balance right between trying to love like Jesus...but not loving people so they depend on us, but instead learn to depend on Jesus?

Ahh, thats frustrating, i really didnt explain myself very well.
if anyone understands my question then your thoughts would be very much appreciated

Thanks :) x
 

MckDawg04

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The only balance there is for showing Christ's love is doing just that. To ensure that the youth aren't relying too much on you, when you're mentoring to them give them examples of how to handle a situation themselves or provide them with Scripture that helps them understand that God is there for them no matter what.

It's also a good thing to make sure that the youth you're mentoring understand that you also have a life and can't always be at their side. Explain that you're their for them to the best of your ability and always be sure to let them know that you love and care about them regardless of what they do.

A great book that I found is called "The Be-With Factor: Mentoring Students in Everyday Life" by Bo Boshers. It's a great book and a great resource for youth workers.

Hope this helps! ;)
 
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jtd123

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it's tough because sometimes it is bound to happen no matter what you say. it is also ok for her to lean on you. it is okay to let her know that you will be there for her no matter what, but in a way of emphasizing love. there is obviously the fact that you will not be around forever which entails a certain amount of intentional grounding, but i think it is ok merely because as long as she is not idolizing you, there is enough technology and means on communication never lose a relationship via communication gaps.
but on with the real answer. the simple one is just: point everything to jesus. be in community and on mission, love each other, spend time together but point everything to jesus. at a certain point, if it's gods will, he will grab her heart and she will meet jesus, (if she hasn't already), and there will be a disconnect in a sense from you as her substitute savior. but in the mean time, teach her about jesus, about the sin of idolatry, share your flaws with her, walk the christian life with her, and just be real. you will have more arguments in the future but if you share christ, you will by gods grace be able to work it out.
if there is anything else i can do just let me know.
 
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