Need a friend not another judge

godisreal36 · Dec 30, 2010

Sometimes a person just needs a friend. I came here looking for Jesus and I found Jesus here alright. To bad he's found in people who only care for themselves. I'm leaving this forum. I came here trying to connect in some way to other Christians. I guess love is just to hard for us all. I'll go back to the way things were. Just me and Jesus. At every turn i feel judged but not loved. I just needed some friends to share with about the Jesus i know. Why do i feel adequately judged but not loved at all? Am i just a "good deed" for you to make yourself feel good by, by helping someone less than or judging yourself better than? That ain't the Jesus i know. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Thanks for the cold shoulder, thanks for everything. Good luck with that religion thing. I tried but failed. I'll go it alone and see how long i last. Good luck with the "religion" Folks. I'm sure you'll come up with an excuse or two if your conscience even condemns you, if it does just blame me.

Dharma Wheel · Dec 30, 2010

I think sometimes people lose sight of what love and friendship really mean without trying to judge you. Sometimes sincere love for you can turn into a kind of judgement but deep-down their is love behind them.

I think humans should try to be less judgemental and more feeling towards other human beings. I am so sorry that you feel unwelcome here and it sounds to me that you might be disillusioned with the online world as a whole.

I am not a Christian so not the kind of person you would be looking for as a friend, but if you want to talk about feelings and emotions free of religion I'll happily listen.

If you actually leave, though, I wish you the best of luck in your life and faith.

godisreal36 · Dec 30, 2010

I have a tender heart friend. Low self esteem has been with me since i was a child. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm the problem but regardless it doesn't matter. I get tired of the pain of my broken heart. I use to be tougher, love was not in my vocabulary. I learned that we are who we are. I got rid of the tough guy act, i like to love. But a loving heart gets hurt easily. I get tired of trying, depression is my friend aside from Jesus. I'm disillusioned with the on line world and the real world. My heart is broken and I'm tired. Jesus is a good friend to those without one. I'll be fine, after i get away from this place.

singpeace · Dec 30, 2010

Hi Godisreal.
I have seen your threads but I don't think I've posted on them so far. I'm usually here answering and praying for those who ask for prayer.

Let me encourage you to stay. What you feel and think right now is exactly what the enemy wants you to feel and think. He wants you wounded and gone and out of the way.

Stop and think just what would your friend Jesus advise you at this point? If this were me, I would try very hard to resist the negative thoughts about this and look to Christ for strength and answers in his Word. Maybe do some self-reflection and take to heart any Godly advise someone has told me? Like I said, I haven't been in your threads yet, but we all make mistakes - forgive and let the wounds heal over into tough scars so that you can keep coming back.

Run the race and don't leave us. It may be a misunderstanding. God can and will use you even if for the life of one person.

Please don't go away.

Romans 10:14-15 (New Living Translation)
But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!

Galatians 6:9-10
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

2 Corinthians 4:7-11
"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body."

godisreal36 · Dec 30, 2010

Perhaps the pain is a lack of self esteem and resulting depression. I will stay friend. Thanks for the concern. Both of you. I do get tired of hurting though. I get tired of weeping and being sad. I never thought i would be this person. I was going to come back and thank those who have helped me, the first poster to my thread made me think that possibly i am the problem and also Jesus deserves a better rep than the one I'm giving him with all my belly aching. And you friend reassure me that all is not lost. Sometimes my faith is strong enough to handle almost anything. But then the low self esteem and the depression kick in. I can go for days until this happens. When it does it hurts real bad. I will be back tomorrow. I owe Jesus more than that. Thanks for lifting me up friends. Much appreciated. I feel like a success with Jesus but a failure as a person. Tomorrow is another day.

Dharma Wheel · Dec 30, 2010

godisreal36 said:
I have a tender heart friend. Low self esteem has been with me since i was a child. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm the problem but regardless it doesn't matter.

I know how you feel as, even now, my esteem is slightly lower than normal.

I often used to feel guilty about it, because I thought that I was useless and actually deserved mochery and contempt.

I get tired of the pain of my broken heart. I use to be tougher, love was not in my vocabulary. I learned that we are who we are. I got rid of the tough guy act, i like to love.

Great love equals true strength, but all men have weaknesses or a ''pain'' inside, and that pain inside you is your sensitivity. Sensitivity is often a good thing, but sometimes we cannot control it and thus it makes it so we can get hurt easier and can feel pain deeper than most, even if it was not originally our pain.

But you can take comfort in the fact that you hold great love. If you feel that your tender heart, please feel free to speak to me, or if you like someone who is trained to help you cope with your feelings (and there is no shame getting help, I have before), because sometimes all you need is a way to control your tender heart so that you can love, inconditionally, without letting the actions of others hurt you so much.

But a loving heart gets hurt easily. I get tired of trying, depression is my friend aside from Jesus. I'm disillusioned with the on line world and the real world. My heart is broken and I'm tired. Jesus is a good friend to those without one. I'll be fine, after i get away from this place.

I am sorry that you feel that way. I have suffered from depression for many years. It is hard and sometimes even the most powerful tablet in the world would not even make you happy, it would merely mask true problems in your life.

If you do not mind me asking, what are your hobbies? Do you like painting, collecting, anything? Sometimes really making some time for your hobbies can help and finding new hobbies is too.

I am glad that you have a good friend in Jesus, who loves you unconditionally, and that you would be fine if you leave, but please remember that no matter how hard it is, true friends are out there. It might not seem that way, but you will meet some, who love you unconditionally.

I do wish you the best.

Dharma Wheel · Dec 30, 2010

godisreal36 said:
Perhaps the pain is a lack of self esteem and resulting depression. I will stay friend. Thanks for the concern. Both of you.

I did not see this before I stated to write my reply, but it is good news.

I do get tired of hurting though. I get tired of weeping and being sad. I never thought i would be this person. I was going to come back and thank those who have helped me, the first poster to my thread made me think that possibly i am the problem and also Jesus deserves a better rep than the one I'm giving him with all my belly aching.

Yes, you are not the problem, I think the sometimes hard-headed nature of society is. You have a good heart and are sensitive, society as a whole doesn't and even the kindest of people can seem stern and cold.

And you friend reassure me that all is not lost. Sometimes my faith is strong enough to handle almost anything. But then the low self esteem and the depression kick in. I can go for days until this happens. When it does it hurts real bad. I will be back tomorrow. I owe Jesus more than that. Thanks for lifting me up friends. Much appreciated. I feel like a success with Jesus but a failure as a person. Tomorrow is another day.

And if you feel too bad again, maybe you can take a break without leaving permanently? When I am too stress because of online debates, or real world arguments, I usually take a break doing what I enjoy for about a week. Often I like to sit in tranquil places and think; finding that the beauty of nature is connected more closely to the divine than the politics of man.

godisreal36 · Dec 30, 2010

Dahma wheel. Thank you. How is it you do not know Jesus? You seem very kind and you would represent him well. I must pray for you my friend. I like you and fear that you need jesus..With Jesus friend you would be invincible against this awful world. Please consider Jesus friend, he is good and the only way to get right with God. Jesus is the only way. We are all sinners and God loves us anyways but hates our sin. This awful world pains me. Thanks friend for helping me. I hope somehow i can help you know that Jesus is real. Thank you so much. I'm sorry for shoving Jesus on you, to me it's not shoving him on you but doing you a favor like you did me friend. I must pray for you and myself. Thank you friend. And thank you Jesus.
This awful world pains me, i must lean on God and wait on him. There're people without Jesus and we worry about our self. I am sad over this. Pray for my friend people, pray that my friend will know loving Jesus as i do and you do, this world is so sad.

What does this kind person that doesn't even know Jesus but still loves and does good deeds, what does this persons actions say about us Christians? Pray for my Friend and me also...please.

SeraphimsCherub · Dec 30, 2010

I'm sorry for your depression & know exactly how it feels! i have to take antidepressent's and mood stabilizers for Bi-polar & ADD! Which i probably will have to take for the rest of my life! No matter how much the media, soceity,possession of thing's,money,"outward religion",the fleeting butterflies of "new" relationship's,and our latest infatuation with the "new" hobby we have just found, to replace the last one which has become "old" to us over time & has now died and passed away! No man besides Christ ever spoke a thing more profound than King Soloman when he said this about the reality of this life:Ecclesiastes 1:2 (KJV) Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
Ecclesiastes 1:8 (KJV) All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.
Ecclesiastes 1:9 (KJV) The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 1:14-15 (KJV) Ecc 14I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.
15 That which is crooked cannot be made straight: and that which is wanting cannot be numbered.
Ecclesiastes 1:17-18 (KJV) Ecc 17And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit.
18 For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
Ecclesiastes 2:11 (KJV) Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 2:17 (KJV) Therefore I hated life; because the work that is wrought under the sun is grievous unto me: for all is vanity and vexation of spirit.
For this is the sad reality , and true nature of the consiquences that living in a world of sin and death beget's within us & outside of us every waking moment of our "passing lives", such as:
Genesis 3:17-19 (KJV) Ge 17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
But Paul put everything in it's proper perspective when he gave the "reason" why the present reality of life in this world is the "way" it is. Is because GOD Ordained it so!! That by subjecting mankind to such a vain existance, would most naturally(once GOD'S Spirit has revealed to a man the overall truth of this vain existance,and causes him to keenly sense it and feel the sting of it deep within his soul,and he begins to see the Absolute hell & horror of being seperated from his Creator & by GOD'S Infinate Grace,Mercey,and Love !! Creates within his heart such a Love for GOD, that he then becomes subjected by the very same GOD unto GOD through His Eternal Hope!!!
Romans 8:19-25 (KJV) Ro 19 For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
20For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,
21 Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.
22 For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.
23 And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
24For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?
25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

godisreal36 · Dec 30, 2010

God is most powerful in our weakness. Again i say praise Jesus my lord. I praise him because when all fails he does not. I am a sinner, a man full of himself sometimes. Jesus is so good, i hope i never ever, let him down in this way again. I am a horrible witness at times and a good one at other times. Praise God he is in control. I cast my worries upon him.

Thank you everyone, be patient with me, i am strong sometimes and weak other times. I am still here, Jesus is still within me, he will never leave, only my senses will in times of sorrow. I do feel unwanted sometimes but i also must thank those that have generously given their time to help me. Thank you for your help everyone and your patience. This on line world is all i have right now. Please forgive my weaknesses and failures. I need Christian fellowship, without it I'm worse off, one man is easy prey for satin. Fellowship is very important. My problems are my own, i blame no one but my self. May God help us all to love and do his will in Jesus name. May we be good Representatives of Jesus, not selfish fools.

How is it that a Buddhist was the first to help his brother in need? I thank all who helped me out of my pit, thank you friends very much, I'm not talking about you. But the question remains...are some in other "religions" fulfilling Gods will more than Christians? Pray for my Buddhist friend that he may also know Jesus. This is Gods Will for us, to help others find Jesus, and i am ashamed to say all i can do is pray for him.

godisreal36 · Dec 30, 2010

Thanks brother SeraphimsCherub, you always say something good.

I need medication, maybe. I know i have some issues with low self esteem and other things as well. Maybe i am Bipolar and maybe I'm not, never been to a doctor about it...yet. I think this depression can drive you to Gods love. We who are afflicted with these emotional problems are sometimes greatly blessed by them. I don't know what i should do, sometimes i think if i get on pills life may get to easy, don't get me wrong i don't like hard but i like feeling gods love when he comes in to heal me. But going insane is not Good. Praise Jesus for you brother Ive been reading a little of proverbs, Your words are Good. Thanks.

SeraphimsCherub · Dec 30, 2010

O Lord Jesus Christ...The Way, The Truth, and The Life! Who art Thine Own Self the Only Resurrection, and Life after death this world has ever known or ever shall know! And Jesus is the only name under heaven given unto the sons of men by GOD, whereby we "must" be saved! LORD please draw DaharmaWheel unto Jesus her Personal Saviour and her soul's Very Best Everlasting Friend!! Who shall never leave her nor foresake her, by Your Holy Spirit draw her unto You LORD Jesus through this thread we beseech Thee Lord, Please Lord DO!!! In Jesus Name Amen!!!

kevind · Dec 30, 2010

sometimes we all need to have that accountibilty partner... keep us in check. I dont know what your sit. is but God brought you here for a reason....that friend might not have shown up yet...

godisreal36 · Dec 30, 2010

When i observe my behavior i see a pattern of to much honesty. I am too open about myself but we are to confess our sin. Confessing releases me from it's bondage. I guess this forum isn't the place but what other do i have? This place reminds me of church anyways. The law and the love, the backstabbing and the gossip. No one is good, no not one. My mind is like an open book, I don't know why but maybe it could benefit someone besides myself. Maybe it hurts me also but we are who we are.

I was praying on my hands and knees, i was thanking God for all of you good people that i have not given any credit to in my selfish self pity. When i was praying i also recited the lords prayer and remember asking one time how it could not be more "vain repetition", how could we really understand it? Not that i didn't use the prayer, to the contrary Jesus told us to pray like this and i do many times.

OUR FATHER who is in heaven, holy is YOUR NAME
May YOUR kingdom come and YOUR WILL be done on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN
Give US this day OUR DAILY BREAD...

There's more of course but this is all i can seem to concentrate on right now.

godisreal36 · Dec 30, 2010

I become to dependent on this forum maybe. I have way to much time on my hands, i think i can help others, yet i need much myself. I think maybe some time away from this forum could help, not leave but not depend on it every waking hour either. I need fellowship but i also need to stand on my own two feet and depend on the lord everywhere, not just here. I'm not sure. I have to go live a little outside this forum. I'M logging off, I'll be back on later friends. Praise Jesus for my weakness and failures, if they were not there i would not seek my God who calls me to his son Jesus in the first place. Praise my lord i Love him. He loved me even when i hated him. He is so good. My love for him may fail sometimes But his love never fails Me. I do love him. Praise Jesus our lord he is so good.

SeraphimsCherub · Dec 30, 2010

godisreal36 said:
When i observe my behavior i see a pattern of to much honesty. I am too open about myself but we are to confess our sin. Confessing releases me from it's bondage. I guess this forum isn't the place but what other do i have? This place reminds me of church anyways. The law and the love, the backstabbing and the gossip. No one is good, no not one. My mind is like an open book, I don't know why but maybe it could benefit someone besides myself. Maybe it hurts me also but we are who we are.

I was praying on my hands and knees, i was thanking God for all of you good people that i have not given any credit to in my selfish self pity. When i was praying i also recited the lords prayer and remember asking one time how it could not be more "vain repetition", how could we really understand it? Not that i didn't use the prayer, to the contrary Jesus told us to pray like this and i do many times.

OUR FATHER who is in heaven, holy is YOUR NAME
May YOUR kingdom come and YOUR WILL be done on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN
Give US this day OUR DAILY BREAD...

There's more of course but this is all i can seem to concentrate on right now.

And forgive me of my own seemingly endless wretchedness, as i forgive those who are under the delusion that their not! Lol...For Thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory forever & ever Amen!!!

LamorakDesGalis · Dec 30, 2010

Hi godisreal36,

I'll be praying for you...

LDG

proemad · Dec 30, 2010

Praying for you! God Bless!

Hupomone10 · Dec 30, 2010

I want to quickly say that I hope to somehow stay in touch with you. God put you on my heart and I have been praying for you brother.

Gideons300 is another brother that is top notch. Anything of his that you can read will be good.

I encourage you to stay, but I've left for times myself. This thing of internet forums is a totally uncontrolled situation. You can get torn down just as easily as built up. My time here has absolutely driven home to me the fact that although God may use it, it will never replace the local church and local gatherings of believers in fellowship and Bible study. That has always been God's method, and always will.

We are just helping to show why that is a fact.

I love you brother,
PM me and I'll give you my email. I also have another suggestion I'll mention...

In Christ,
H.

gideons300 · Dec 30, 2010

Hupomone10 said:
I want to quickly say that I hope to somehow stay in touch with you. God put you on my heart and I have been praying for you brother.

Gideon is another brother that is top notch. Anything of his that you can read will be good.

I encourage you to stay, but I've left for times myself. This thing of internet forums is a totally uncontrolled situation. You can get torn down just as easily as built up. My time here has absolutely driven home to me the fact that although God may use it, it will never replace the local church and local gatherings of believers in fellowship and Bible study. That has always been God's method, and always will.

We are just helping to show why that is a fact.

I love you brother,
PM me and I'll give you my email. I also have another suggestion I'll mention...

In Christ,
H.

Hi brother, as you pointed out to me, you had been trying to contact me as Gideon and I am Gideons300.

To God is Real, I too hope you stay. The church as a whole is in a tough spot right now, and in many instances, religion has displaced relationship. Yet the two here are intermixed as wheat and tares. What is important, I have found, is to locate those brothers and sisters who radiate Jesus himself, who speak often of Jesus, whose lives and posts are not cold doctrine but alive with the love of God. With these, absorb the love and wisdom they have to offer you for we all have much to learn from God and often it is through the lips of others.

THe others I would counsel you to search out are those broken, hungry, searching for answers, and to those, offer encouragement and words from the Lord as the spirit leads.

Yet sadly, there are many here who are quite content with their lives and simply do not understand that Christ came to indwell us, to live through us. They have lives off husks for so long, they have forgotten we are to be feasting in the victory Christ has wrought for us.

I would also agree with Bill's words of wisdom, to find a good Bible believing fellowship and immerse yourself in the fellowship. Church is to be community, not one hour of staring at the back of the next person's head. LOL That is not "assembling of ourselves together". I myself need to take these words to heart.

Blessings,

Bruce

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