I have a tender heart friend. Low self esteem has been with me since i was a child. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm the problem but regardless it doesn't matter.
I know how you feel as, even now, my esteem is slightly lower than normal.
I often used to feel guilty about it, because I thought that I was useless and actually deserved mochery and contempt.
I get tired of the pain of my broken heart. I use to be tougher, love was not in my vocabulary. I learned that we are who we are. I got rid of the tough guy act, i like to love.
Great love equals true strength, but all men have weaknesses or a ''pain'' inside, and that pain inside you is your sensitivity. Sensitivity is often a good thing, but sometimes we cannot control it and thus it makes it so we can get hurt easier and can feel pain deeper than most, even if it was not originally our pain.
But you can take comfort in the fact that you hold great love. If you feel that your tender heart, please feel free to speak to me, or if you like someone who is trained to help you cope with your feelings (and there is no shame getting help, I have before), because sometimes all you need is a way to control your tender heart so that you can love, inconditionally, without letting the actions of others hurt you so much.
But a loving heart gets hurt easily. I get tired of trying, depression is my friend aside from Jesus. I'm disillusioned with the on line world and the real world. My heart is broken and I'm tired. Jesus is a good friend to those without one. I'll be fine, after i get away from this place.
I am sorry that you feel that way. I have suffered from depression for many years. It is hard and sometimes even the most powerful tablet in the world would not even make you happy, it would merely mask true problems in your life.
If you do not mind me asking, what are your hobbies? Do you like painting, collecting, anything? Sometimes really making some time for your hobbies can help and finding new hobbies is too.
I am glad that you have a good friend in Jesus, who loves you unconditionally, and that you would be fine if you leave, but please remember that no matter how hard it is, true friends are out there. It might not seem that way, but you will meet some, who love you unconditionally.
I do wish you the best.