wife wants to start trying

Niffer

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Your first pregnancy was a big suprise wasn't it?
Weren't you only married a few months ago as well?

Remi and I waited 2+ years before "stopping preventing" and we were happy to go another year babyless if that was the case.
I think Sarah is still really in pain from the miscarriage, and thinks another little one will fill that hole, which is why she wants to try again. (even though you weren't trying to begin with)

I would encourage her to take things slow and make sure that you're wanting to concieve for the right reasons.

Peace,
- Niffer
 
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ChildByGrace

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Wanting a baby isn't necessarily because of wanting to fill the gap caused by your miscarriage. My sister suffered one and then fell pregnant 3 months later with her eldest daughter. The second pregnancy was never to fill the gap.

Iro wanting to wait-my dh wanted us to wait however God had other plans and I fell pregnant at a time of the month when I shouldn't of been able to. DH's reason for not wanting children at that time were the same as yours.

HTH

Anyway-I would suggest praying about it together.
 
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Everlasting33

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I recommend waiting. Ideally, this is my opinion, a couple is best suited for children after at least three years of marriage. I don't care who you are, its always better to wait until your late 20's to have children.

People are not emotionally, mentally, or physically (our brains do not fully develop until 25 years old) mature to have children before a certain age.

Others will disagree but I believe more parents should wait longer to have children, especially those in marriages.
 
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Mayzoo

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sarah told me last night that she wants to start trying for a baby, and I personally wanna wait another year or two


I believe most OBs recommend waiting six months to begin trying. This time frame allows her hormone levels to recover. Check with her OB, and then talk, talk, talk to each other.

Good luck, this is one of life's bigger decisions (no matter the decision), and one of life's most rewarding challenges when you do have them :).
 
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dobieman0488

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I just want us to be in better financial status, we don't make much collectively. and I was thinking having our first child around 24-26. I mean I love sarah and me and her do want 4-5 children, but i think it's a little soon. I've told her that and she's accepting it, but i think she is hurt from the m.c anddealing with that
 
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Luther073082

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I think most marriage experts recommend waiting at least a year in your marriage. I don't blame you for wanting to wait a little bit, you are a pretty young couple and you have plenty of time. The only thing that I would caution you is that you can't be a perfectionist about things either. If you wait for your life to be "perfect" then you will never reach it. But I don't think, especially at your age its a bad thing to try to get yourself into a financially better place.

If you put money first then it will be first. Many Christians do this and for the life of me I can find no mention of it endorsed in or by the Bible. Then again sola scriptura is not everyone's cup of tea.

To be fair, I really don't think wanting to wait until they have a better income is really putting money before God or children for that matter. Its about raising the children in a more financially secure environment.
 
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Lena75

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If you put money first then it will be first. Many Christians do this and for the life of me I can find no mention of it endorsed in or by the Bible. Then again sola scriptura is not everyone's cup of tea.

I agree. No matter how much money you make, even enough is never really enough. There is no right or wrong time to have a baby either.
 
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Brandlynn

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When my hubby and I were going to get married, there were a couple times where we thought that finances would be too hard. I was telling an elderly gentleman about it and he told me this. "If you wait to be able to afford to get married, then you never will. Just like if you wait to be able to afford to have kids, you will never have them.
 
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Conservativation

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Have'm now, be 40 when you get em raised. It works. Having kids will make you tighten your finances even more than getting ready to have kids will, so g'head.

Today seems popular people having their kids near 40. You are nowhere near that, but man if thats a strategy I just dont get it. I can speak to it, I have a 20 year old and a 5 year old and Im 48. I think it was easier when i was younger.
 
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Key

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A friend told me, "you can not wait to have the money for children, or else you will never have children. You have the children and then you find the means to support them."

As for work, it takes 9 months for the child be born, so, there is no reason why you can't try not, but, I would want to know more about her motives, why she wants the child, and just making sure it is for the right reasons.

But I would tell you to go for it.

God Bless.
 
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Beautiful Fireball

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Age has nothing to do with it at all. I've seen amazing parents that had kids at 20 and 21 and I've seen lousy parents that have had kids after 25.

I don't think kids should ever come into a situation where both parties are not sure they want to have them. Yes, surprises happen all the time and they can be wonderful but if you're actually going to try to have kids then both need to be on the same page. It does sound like you have a lot of serious conversations ahead of you and there is going to have to be a compromise somewhere.

I would just continue to prayerfully consider her feelings but make sure that whatever you both decide is good for the two of you. When my DH and I got married we had originally talked about waiting 5-7 years to have kids. We got pregnant shortly after our 2nd anniversary and it wasn't an accident. We brought up the topic every few months and we came to the point of being ready for kids much sooner than either of us had anticipated. This isn't really something that you can put a time limit on, IMO its best to continually revisit the topic and reevaluate where you are at.

Obviously though, if God wants you to have a kid no amount of prevention is going to stop that.
 
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waxlion10

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Age has nothing to do with it at all. I've seen amazing parents that had kids at 20 and 21 and I've seen lousy parents that have had kids after 25.

I don't think kids should ever come into a situation where both parties are not sure they want to have them. Yes, surprises happen all the time and they can be wonderful but if you're actually going to try to have kids then both need to be on the same page. It does sound like you have a lot of serious conversations ahead of you and there is going to have to be a compromise somewhere.
...

Obviously though, if God wants you to have a kid no amount of prevention is going to stop that.

QFT.
Especially that first sentence.

I agree that no matter what, you and Sarah need to be on the same page. Every couple is different, and you need to do what you believe the Lord is leading you to do. He will provide no matter what happens with your situation.
 
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Everlasting33

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Age has nothing to do with it at all. I've seen amazing parents that had kids at 20 and 21 and I've seen lousy parents that have had kids after 25.
.

Age, it would seem, is most often correlated with education, marital status, emotional and mental maturity, and income. Those who are older are generally college grads, married for more than 2 years, are more likely to be emotionally and mentally secure/mature, and have greater income.

While not every individual in their late 20's has the above criteria, it is more often associated with successful parenting and relationships.
 
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Beautiful Fireball

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Age, it would seem, is most often correlated with education, marital status, emotional and mental maturity, and income. Those who are older are generally college grads, married for more than 2 years, are more likely to be emotionally and mentally secure/mature, and have greater income.

While not every individual in their late 20's has the above criteria, it is more often associated with successful parenting and relationships.

Ok. I don't agree with you at all. I don't see how education or income, or heck even marital status, have any bearing on what kind of parent you'll be. I will give you emotional or mental maturity though, but that has nothing at all do with age.
 
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